Hello all! I need some advice here, or even just hearing of others who are in the same/similar situation as I am.;..
So, my FH and I come from very different families.. his parents are very traditional and well off and mine are far from traditional (my dad is an old hippie and they didn't have a wedding, just a quick court house wedding as my mum was immigrating from England.
Here is my dilemma, my FH's parents have a large down payment for us when we decided to buy/build our first home (we are so greatful for them as we would not be able to do it this soon in our lives if it weren't for them). Seeing as they are making such a large contribution four our house, we obviously don't expect them or would even consider asking them for any help when it comes to our DW.
My parents, on the other hand, have 4 kids and do not have the finances to help out in that way with a house. They can lend us the money should we need it for a down payment. Both sets of parents have been on board 100% all the way with a DW and will be there no matter the cost/place. Since my FH has come from such a traditional upbringing, he thinks that it is "weird" and "uncaring" and "cheap" of my parents not to offer to help out in some little way (dress, photography, flowers, anything at all). He thinks the gesture shows a lot. I see his point and I know when I have kids I would be so quick to take my daughter dress shopping and help pay for as much as I could. I know my parents have money, they aren't wealthy but they definitely are comfortable and able to enjoy the luxury of traveling a couple times a year. So, my FH wants me to ask them to help out with the photographer. I can't help but feel out of line, awkward and bratty if I follow through with this. Isn't it enough that they are spending 3000 plus dollars to come to our wedding? Or should they be doing more as mother/father of the bride (I know my FH sure thinks so)!
Ladies, if anyone has any advice or insight on this, please share... I am losing sleep over these torn feelings and welcome any thoughts/suggestion, or even someone who can tell me I am not alone here!!! I do understand every family/situation is different, so would love you hear from any of you brides!!
Thanks so much and happy planning!!!
Edited by Victoriabride, 18 March 2015 - 10:24 AM.