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Snswedding2016 Planning Thread - Jan 9 2016 (Azul Fives)


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#221 Wafflesmom

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Posted 18 August 2015 - 07:13 AM

My MOH will already stand out a bit more since she's the only one wearing coral. The other three are wearing grey dresses ;)

And of course I support you, I feel like we've all become such good friends already! And that's such a strong statement from your friend, and at 25 years old? Wow! And to say that to you when you were newly single too? Ugh, I have no patience for people who make catty, bitchy comments like that. And soooo passive aggressive!
My planning thread: http://www.bestdesti...anuary-23-2016/

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#222 TinkerSofi

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 10:47 AM

@Wafflesmom It might be ok, it would be better if it was for your MOH -that way it would make her stand out a little more.

 

Definitely go for a second viewing with your girls - it would be so much fun!

 

Thanks for the support! I really appreciate it! This is also someone who said 5 years ago when she got married that anyone at 'our' age who isn't married or isn't getting married is a little pathetic (not that age matters but I was 25 at the time ...like really?!? Who says that?). My other friend and I were newly single....that was the start of her clearly pushing us away. The more I think about it I wonder how we've stayed friends this long...

oh that's too bad. I'm glad you were able to make it out with your bridesmaids and have a good time regardless. 

 

I can't believe your friend said that. What age you get married at has nothing to do with how successful you'll be in your marriage. Also, you can't just marry someone because you're "turning 27" and otherwise you'll be alone, those are the wrong reasons and that does actually predict your marriage success a little better ;)



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#223 pjay

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 10:56 AM

Yea, I have to agree with the ladies here. That was very wrong of her to say. Every single person is in a different situation and I think it's so ridiculous that she said that based on her own situation. I have friends my age that aren't even in a relationship right now and I will admit, sometimes it sets our lives apart in ways when it comes to them going out/clubbing etc, but at the end of the day I respect that their life is at that stage and my life is at another. We don't all find the person we are going to marry at the exact same time/age..


Edited by perianjay, 19 August 2015 - 10:56 AM.

 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#224 snswedding2016

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:12 AM

@Wafflesmom @TinkerSofi @perianjay Thanks ladies! Ya she's always been the one in our circle of friends to feel very competitive with others and quick to judge without taking into consideration other people's feelings. I think she did rush into getting married and felt like she "had" to do it at her age. I wish her all the best but her husband did say "I guess" instead of "I do" at the wedding among other things. We were all really worried that she was doing it for the wrong reasons but you can only say so much.

 

The tough part is, is that she has been a good friend in the past but we certainly have grown apart and we are also in different stages of our lives. It makes it hard to figure out where our friendship is now. I did not hold a grudge over the fact that she was planning to get pregnant this year. Of course I still wanted her at the wedding but understood if she couldn't attend. Saying yes to being a bridesmaid and then saying you can't commit to the wedding is a bit confusing and especially when she didn't say anything for 6 months I took it in my own hands and talked to her about it. I still feel like I shouldn't have had to be the one to do it since it was in her court. I did because I wanted to be upfront and didn't want to wait until I got upset about it...apparently I didn't handle it the way she wanted me too but of course I would never know this because she hasn't said this to me. Too much drama- gah! @perianjay and @veryvalentine - I agree, I feel like all the drama seems to be coming out at the 4 month mark. I also feel like my emotions are also heighten right now with it coming up soon. I just want it to come together and I know it will but the drama definitely makes you question it sometimes.


Edited by snswedding2016, 19 August 2015 - 11:16 AM.

My planning thread - http://www.bestdesti...016-azul-fives/

 

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#225 pjay

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:16 AM

@snswedding2016 It's so hard. It has made me question so much and feel very insecure about my friendships. It's really tough when you realize that some people aren't as 'there for you' as you thought they would have been. The drama is definitely unfolding right now.. I told myself that I wouldn't become a Bridezilla, but it's so hard when all of these issues keep building. It feels like the next issue (big or small) is going to make me break. 


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#226 snswedding2016

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:29 AM

@perianjay I totally feel for you!! I feel the same way. I think Sean's a little worried because I keep having these little melt downs. It starts to feel like this group you were so excited about to be your support team on your big day starts crumbling. If you ever need to just vent about this stuff, I'm totally here for you. We can even meet for coffee (since we're both in TO) if you want. Sometimes I really feel like no gets it but other brides going through the same thing. It can be lonely sometimes dealing with it on your own.

 

I also had a bit of future mother in law drama last night which I also felt highly emotional about. I really really love her and Sean's family has made me feel so welcome in their family but sometimes the guilt trips are more than I can handle. Sean's niece is getting married at the end of Oct in PEI. We booked our trip home without hesitation but if you're from Canada, you know how expensive it can be to fly to either end of the country. I might as well go to Europe...but of course it's her wedding and we want to be there. Sean's mom is having this big fundraiser for the symphony she's a part of and she just told us this a couple of weeks ago after we booked our flight. It's a couple of days after we're flying home. There are several factors the cost to extend the flight we just paid for, time away from work and the fact that I may have to cover for colleagues at work as well. I got a HUGE guilt trip of it being the one request from my future mother in law and than last night I got "well if I can arrange to take a whole week off of work to be in Mexico, Steph should be able to do the same thing".....sigh the situations are a little different in my opinion and I would love to be there if I could but there just doesn't seem to be an understanding from our perspective. I was really upset about this last night and felt so bad that Sean's in the middle (he doesn't care and keeps reassuring me he doesn't feel that way). I just felt really backed into a corner about the whole thing. 


My planning thread - http://www.bestdesti...016-azul-fives/

 

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#227 veryvalentine

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:32 AM

Awww, the worst is when you don't even hear it directly from the persons mouth.  Hang in there, it's unfortunate but very rarely, regardless of whether it is a destination wedding or hometown wedding, is anyone really immune to the disappointments.  I do find that with local weddings, most of the people that you invite end up attending, so you don't have the disappointments there as much but it's still possible to be annoyed with your bridal party if they are not pulling their own weight.  

 

Hang tight, you are getting so close to the good part!  When we got together last friday I was sharing with the other end of the table a few of my upsets with the wedding.  We had many and I never really bothered to type them up on the forum because I think that I would reach my entry limit if I did.  hahaha We were really heart broken with my husband's brothers who just didn't get involved in the process at all.  My husband was literally in tears, like hurt because of it.  It broke my heart. Those connections are really broken right now and I was nervous about what the wedding would be like with key people like them not in attendance.

 

As we stood up to give our speeches at the reception, and we felt the sense of relief and we entered the celebration portion of the wedding, I had the chance to really look around the room and as I paid close attention to our guests with huge smiles on their faces, with their pretty beach wedding outfits that they carefully picked out, their presence was overwhelming.  I broke down in tears because I realized we had really pulled it off.  We did it.  We had the dream wedding we wanted and we had the most important people there with us, and we were happy, and they were happy and it was epic.  

 

It wasn't perfect, we had our detours, the upsets impacted friendships that are probably lost for good... but honestly, how boring would my story be if I told you that I planned a wedding, it worked out perfectly, the end.  hahaha

 

I can't wait to meet up in October.  I hope that you just like @perianjay can take some time away from the disappointments.  Save your energies for the good moments because there will be soooo many!! ; )



 
 
Married on June 20th, 2015 at the Grand Sunset Princess Riviera Gazebo & Reception at the Chill Out with 60 guests
 
 

My planning thread:  http://www.bestdesti...unset-princess/

My review thread:  http://www.bestdesti...incess-wedding/


#228 pjay

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:43 AM

I'm definitely always down for a coffee date. I agree with you that it can be very lonely when you're going through something like this. Chester always tries to be there for me, but he is such a man sometimes in the way that he thinks and how he removes his feelings from a situation. I deal with things so much differently than he does.

 

I'm sorry to hear about the MIL guilt trip :( It's really unfortunate that she can't see it from your side of things.. especially since she had given you such late notice after you had already arranged your travel. Travel within Canada is SO expensive. I remember when I flew to BC and how I kept saying wow.. I could fly to Europe for this.

I also think it's really unfair of her to pit the Mexico trip against you. No offense, but she can't compare something like her fundraiser to your's and Sean's wedding that you gave her PLENTY of notice for.

I just think that the situations are too different for her to be comparing them like that and I don't think that it's wrong of you to put your foot down either.


@veryvalentine PS. your post just made me tear up.


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#229 snswedding2016

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:47 AM

@perianjay @veryvalentine Thanks - I really did need to hear that right now!! 

 

I also teared up with your post (@veryvalentine)...at my desk at work! LOL!


My planning thread - http://www.bestdesti...016-azul-fives/

 

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#230 veryvalentine

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Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:49 AM

Awwww anytime!  @perianjay @snswedding2016

 

xoxo



 
 
Married on June 20th, 2015 at the Grand Sunset Princess Riviera Gazebo & Reception at the Chill Out with 60 guests
 
 

My planning thread:  http://www.bestdesti...unset-princess/

My review thread:  http://www.bestdesti...incess-wedding/





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