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veryvalentine
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veryvalentine

veryvalentine

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It's very true.  I would have been so worried about making sure she's having fun.  that's she's not getting sick from the food.  And she's the type of person that everyone would be having a great time and nobody would have issues with water or food, but somehow she would.  She'd find a way to be miserable in paradise.  #NoThanks

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TinkerSofi
TinkerSofi

I understands that this totally leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and it does feel like it's friends off. Sometimes things heal and sometimes they don't, but only time can tell.   From what you sa

acw271011
acw271011

My first reaction is that there's something else at play here. But obviously something she doesn't feel able to share. It's so unfortunate that friendships go by the wayside over wedding planning. I t

nadiakat17
nadiakat17

I think she is behaving in an incredibly childish way. And no that's not too little to end a friendship over. I think you should talk it out and see what she has to say, just be honest. Although I'm n

calgarybride2015

calgarybride2015

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It's very true. I would have been so worried about making sure she's having fun. that's she's not getting sick from the food. And she's the type of person that everyone would be having a great time and nobody would have issues with water or food, but somehow she would. She'd find a way to be miserable in paradise. #NoThanks

Haha I had one of those at my wedding week. I gave up after day 2 and we let her be. Unfortunately her actions and words to certain people were so terrible I haven't talked to her since. Sometimes you don't realize some people's ways until you see them day in and day out too :/

 

 

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veryvalentine

veryvalentine

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So true.  We don't even want to hear about this crap.  Is it normal to be in the super thick of the planning of a destination wedding and sometimes just feel like giving up?  I sometimes get so overwhelmed and wonder if it was the right decision.

 

@@calgarybride2015

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calgarybride2015

calgarybride2015

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So true. We don't even want to hear about this crap. Is it normal to be in the super thick of the planning of a destination wedding and sometimes just feel like giving up? I sometimes get so overwhelmed and wonder if it was the right decision.

 

@@calgarybride2015

Yup!!! But once the guest list is more finalized. Ie deposits are due, then it settles well. Just odd stress/drama here or there lol. Trust me it gets better. I wouldn't change the week and day I had in Mexico for anything. Was awesome.

 

 

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veryvalentine

veryvalentine

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Wow!  Thanks so much for your advice and perspective. @

 

I have to ask, how awkward was it when she realized you received the text message?  did she try to fix it or apologize?

 

I think I need to come up with a wedding mantra to stay positive and really communicate it with our guests that we only want positive vibes...  #PositiveVibesOnly

 

I can totally understand why you would just cut that person out.  It's so unfortunate that people go a little nuts when a wedding is brewing.

 

My ex-Officiant spent the majority of her time complaining when she stood up in several other weddings previous but I thought I would be an exception to this.  Apparently not. 

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beckys98

beckys98

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Um...yep. My wedding is 3 months from today and I know it'll be so fun when we get there, but planning mostly feels like a series of chores at worst and an unpaid part-time job at best! I feel so ungrateful saying that, but I'm among friends here right?!

 

Getting people to make their plans, and then tell us what their plans are, has been the worst. And with everyone arriving and departing on different days we'll only have ONE day where everyone is there at the same time. I'm so envious of the Canadian brides whose guests fly down at the same time and all stay a week together!

 

So true.  We don't even want to hear about this crap.  Is it normal to be in the super thick of the planning of a destination wedding and sometimes just feel like giving up?  I sometimes get so overwhelmed and wonder if it was the right decision.

 

@@calgarybride2015

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calgarybride2015

calgarybride2015

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@@veryvalentine Yea.. she tried to cover it up by saying she didn't mean it in a negative way, but it was so clearly negative that I couldn't believe her. Finally after a few days she admitted that she felt that I was going to be too focused on my own wedding and that I won't be able to help her with hers. First of all, her wedding is almost a year after mine... November 2016.. and secondly, I was completely appauled at that selfish excuse for bad talking my wedding.

 

It was so unrepairable after all of that.. I was beyond disgusted.

Wow!!! Cause you can't plan both at the same time!! That would be fun. But it's a year after!!! I would have been so upset and offended too. She didn't like you took some of the focus off her I assume.

 

My bridesmaid didn't want to tell me she was pregnant because she didn't want it a focus in Mexico not us. We sensed she was and did find out a couple days before we left. That's when she told me that. I lol and was 'noooo way we can both celebrate together!!'

 

 

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veryvalentine

veryvalentine

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@

 

wow, that's so awful and awkward.  As if she needs you to plan every detail for her wedding.  If she had thought about it, you would have been so valuable to her because after your wedding you would be probably in wedding planning withdrawal that you'd be excited to plan hers too. 

 

Aww, so sorry you had to experience this! 

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calgarybride2015

calgarybride2015

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I know! I couldn't believe it. The sad part is, she was my friend since high school - one of my oldest friends. She had actually asked me to be the MOH in her wedding. I've since been replaced of course.. since telling her I can no longer move forward with a friendship with her.

I hate that people let envy get in the way.. I admit.. there have been times where i'm envious too, but I would never let it take over me the way that it does some people.

I agree. I say 'man I want a house like that' haha then I move on. Maybe I can fathom it cause I'm not like that. It's a darn shame. Hugs.

 

 

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veryvalentine

veryvalentine

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@ @@calgarybride2015

 

thank so much for the advice.  I'm starting to feel more peace with my decision.  My decision was to put my foot down and not accept a friendship that is giving me less than I deserve.  I'm over that.

 

I'm taking a Brene Brown workshop to do some work on myself and the lesson last night was that I can practice gratitude when I feel this disappointment.  So one friend totally bailed on me and tried to turn herself into the victim.  She really fell short of being a friend.  But now I'm shiftubg the focus off of her and focusing on those who have been nothing but great and supportive. 

 

#ProjectGratitude 

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