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Pjay Planning Thread - December 15, 2015 Beach Palace

2015 Brides Planning Tips Cancun Riviera Maya

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#761 MrsCtoB

MrsCtoB
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  • 286 posts
  • Wedding Date:March 14, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Valentin Imperial Maya
  • LocationBoston, MA

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:20 AM

Got to catch up on your thread...everything is beautiful! You are so organized. Sorry to hear about the bridesmaid drama. Unfortunately, as @veryvalentine mentioned, it is really common at this point in the wedding planning process. It stinks. I wish I knew why weddings bring out the worst in some people but they truly do. I no longer associate with a "friend" of many years because of a situation similar to yours so I can relate. Ultimately though, I can't say that I missed her on the big day. She hadn't been the most supportive to begin with and I felt like for many years, I was keeping the friendship together simply for the sake of the amount of time we had been friends. Look at it this way, on your big day you really want to be surrounded by people who LOVE you and your husband to be AND these are the people who are going to be there to support your marriage in the years to come. You don't want to feel like you forced anyone or that there might be any jealousy/spite/malicious feelings surrounding your big day. You will want those with the truest of intentions beside you and sadly, that might not include your friend. 

I am sure you are under loads of stress and this is probably just about the last thing you need but I would give it some time. You have more important things to do at this point. I would eventually get around to asking her for a definite yes or no when you are ready. I say when you are ready lol because, just my opinion, I wouldn't even acknowledge her bad behavior with the response she is looking for. She is expecting you to be upset most likely. It will totally confuse her if you calmly ask, when you are ready, if she has made a decision about attending the wedding so you can make arrangements. Hopefully she will do good by you but if not, she misses out. The beauty of DWs is that it is not just a one day thing. It is a bonding experience, a memory that will last a lifetime. Those who are there for you and your husband to be will develop a stronger bond with you both. If she chooses to cut herself out of that equation, you will have a definite answer regarding your friendship, if nothing else. 

Sorry for the novel but it makes me so sad to see other brides go through stress and anxiety over bridal party drama. It will all work out for the best. 



#762 pjay

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  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:32 AM

@MrsCtoB Aww thank you so much! It's so funny how we all have such a similar story. I have been wondering why such a happy time brings out such negativity in others. I'm definitely going to take your advice and leave it for now. After she messaged me I just said "Oh I thought you were able to have someone proctor your exams" and then I said "Well I hope you can still make it" and I left it at that and changed the subject. I already bought her a dress, robe and gifts so it will really suck if she backs out on me. Nothing bothers me more than someone who commits to something knowing what they are getting into and then backs out. I told her from the beginning that there was no pressure and if she couldn't make it then it was ok, but she insisted that she could and that she was honoured to be my BM. You're definitely right about not having those types of people by your side. We are still so full of gratitude at our friends and family that can make it and on the flip side of things we are really excited about that. I just wish these negative Nancy's would stop sending me on such an emotional rollercoaster!


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#763 Janjin

Janjin
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  • Wedding Date:November 20, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Azul Sensatori, Riviera Maya, Mexico
  • LocationBrooklyn, NY

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:32 AM

@perianjay - I'm so sorry that you've had so much trouble with your wedding party!!  Hopefully it'll quiet down and sort itself out so you don't have to deal with this going into your day!  Stinks to have so much disappointment during this time that should be fun and special.  No advice here but *virtual hug*


Daisy

 

Can't wait to marry my best friend   :).

 

Planning Thread: http://www.bestdesti...tori/?p=1902797


#764 pjay

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  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:34 AM

@Janjin Aww thanks girl! I appreciate it. 


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#765 MrsCtoB

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  • Wedding Date:March 14, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Valentin Imperial Maya
  • LocationBoston, MA

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:43 AM

@MrsCtoB Aww thank you so much! It's so funny how we all have such a similar story. I have been wondering why such a happy time brings out such negativity in others. I'm definitely going to take your advice and leave it for now. After she messaged me I just said "Oh I thought you were able to have someone proctor your exams" and then I said "Well I hope you can still make it" and I left it at that and changed the subject. I already bought her a dress, robe and gifts so it will really suck if she backs out on me. Nothing bothers me more than someone who commits to something knowing what they are getting into and then backs out. I told her from the beginning that there was no pressure and if she couldn't make it then it was ok, but she insisted that she could and that she was honoured to be my BM. You're definitely right about not having those types of people by your side. We are still so full of gratitude at our friends and family that can make it and on the flip side of things we are really excited about that. I just wish these negative Nancy's would stop sending me on such an emotional rollercoaster!

That was a perfect response and much nicer than I would have been 3 months before my wedding!  :D At this point, the least she owes you is to figure it out quickly. I know how you feel...I felt guilty even asking my ladies to be bridesmaids on top of the whole travel commitment, but those who really care are happy to do it. I kept making sure it was okay and that there was no pressure so to have someone back out was hurtful. I felt like I GAVE YOU A MILLION OPPORTUNITIES TO TELL ME OR GIVE ME A WARNING, REALLY?!!! 

I feel like it's a right of passage...lol. The wedding Gods look down and say "Well, we will let you have a perfect wedding day. BUT first, you will have to find out the good/bad/ugly side of all of your family and friends and come really close to a break down!"  :lol:



#766 snswedding2016

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  • Wedding Date:January 9, 2016
  • Wedding Location:Azul Fives
  • LocationToronto, Canada

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:43 AM

@perianjay sending hugs and support! This situation totally sucks especially after just dealing with the whole MOH wedding  debacle. I think the lovely married ladies (@veryvalentine and @mrsCtoB) gave some great advice here. 

 

Definitely take some time for you and maybe have a date night with Chester. I always find that helps - to reconnect with your fiance when planning starts to get too stressful! It reminds us of why we're all doing this and Sean always reminds me that at the end of the day if it is just the two of us in Mexico by the ocean, it will be perfect!


Edited by snswedding2016, 19 August 2015 - 11:48 AM.

My planning thread - http://www.bestdesti...016-azul-fives/

 

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#767 pjay

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  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:44 AM

@MrsCtoB haha that's how I feel too.. like i'm really going through it all and I hope that in the end all of this struggle, hurt and frustration was all worth it. 


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#768 MrsCtoB

MrsCtoB
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  • Wedding Date:March 14, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Valentin Imperial Maya
  • LocationBoston, MA

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:50 AM

@MrsCtoB haha that's how I feel too.. like i'm really going through it all and I hope that in the end all of this struggle, hurt and frustration was all worth it. 

It will be! If there is one thing I can be 100% sure of...it will all be worth it! I would go through it 1000x over again if I could live that day one more time. Once you get to your resort, the excitement and happiness take over any other feelings you might have had. The people who are there to celebrate with you will become your focus and everything else just seems trivial. We are all here for you. One step at a time (and maybe a glass of wine too)!



#769 Meandhim

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  • Wedding Date:November 25, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Grand Palladium in Punta Cana
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 August 2015 - 11:58 AM

@perianjay I'm so glad that you and you MOH worked it out but it really sucks that you have more bridesmaid drama! I really do think the worst in people really does come out for weddings and it seems to happen around the 3-4 month mark for destination weddings..exactly when the pressure is on! I'm so sorry! It's sometimes shocking how hurtful and unthoughtful some people can be! I have a little issue with someone as well right now..true colours right! Hope you get over your cold soon...take some time and relax!


 
My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015
 
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#770 pjay

pjay
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  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 August 2015 - 12:05 PM

@Meandhim I'm also really glad that her and I were able to move past it.. she was the last person I wanted to have an issue with. I really can't wait for all of this drama to just pass.. I live a very drama free life outside of the wedding and this has been a really big shock to my emotions. I haven't dealt with so much let down before so it's definitely been hard to deal with and sometimes I don't even know what to do to deal with it. I also hate how friendships have been lost over it.


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 






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