You ladies are amazing and I have no idea what i'd do without you.. i'm not even sure how many times i've said that now, but it's so true. I've had so much support here
@Wafflesmom That story honestly sounds almost IDENTICAL to mine. I love my MOH to pieces (despite being upset with her), but i've always gotten this sense of desperation from her when it came to her love life. She's been the type that has jumped from guy to guy trying to find 'love', but always with the wrong guy. The guy that she is now engaged with was a guy that she had 'SEEN' a couple of times in the past and he was never willing to commit to her.. STRANGELY out of no where and after brushing her off so many times, he decided he wanted to commit to her. I was the one who was always there for her after he would toss her aside and forget about her.. so ya, it definitely stings the way she has put all of this first right now. It's really sad when jealousy get's the best of someone
She has made so many comments to me in the past that frankly felt very belittling. Things like "I'm 30, I should be married by now" (emphasis on 'I') and saying how "i'm still young".. because I guess a 30 year old feels more entitled than a 27 year old? Again.. I had no idea what my age had to do with anything...I also don't think 27 is too young to get married. When Chester and I got engaged she always seemed a bit bitter and then when her boyfriend and her started dating she was talking to me about 'getting him to propose to her' after a couple months of them dating. I would be lying if I didn't think their situation was a bit over the top, but I have told her that I support her regardless.
@Meandhim no worries! I completely understand what you mean. I definitely agree that I need to focus on my day.. it's just so hard with how many people have affected it lately. Chester and I know that it's our day, but lately it seems that some people don't and have really taken away from that for us.. whether they realize it or not.
I think that no matter what nothing is ever going to ruin the overall experience for Chester and I, but i've definitely had my feelings hurt A LOT in the process. It is really amazing how such a beautiful time like a wedding brings out such UGLY qualities in people. Sides that I honestly never wanted to see from people that we called our best friends.
@calgarybride2015 @acw271011 Trust me.. i've actually said the exact same thing, but that's a whole other story in it's self. I've been one of her only friends that has told her the truth about how I feel and i've been telling her since the start that I think it's moving way too fast. It may have been a bit different had they had no bad history together, but the worst part is that they had been 'seeing each other' on and off for a few months before dating and he would never take her out, wouldn't acknowledge her birthday, didn't want to treat her like a girlfriend or express any feelings to her...She would call me crying every week about how he would just dump her off weekly. Then SUDDENLY out of no where he just decided he was ready to commit to her. I was skeptical of course, but supported what she wanted and that was to be with this man who was constantly leaving her high and dry. I will admit that he has really cleaned up his act, but given the history, I would NEVER rush into a marriage with someone like that. I think that she is really desperate to settle down and keeps using her age as an excuse and I think that in the process she is hurting a lot of people because she is just not thinking about anyone else at all... not even thinking about herself.. because I truly believe that is who will be the most hurt by all of this.
I know what you mean about not moving the date, but Chester and I don't want to have any negative affiliation to that date so I think it may be best to leave that date as it's own special date (that is already very significant to me) and move on to another time that we can call our own. We really don't like the idea of sharing that time with anyone else so we decided to privately wed now and not disclose the date prior to. Neither of us can stomach the drama around all of it and I'm not sure if I ever mentioned my engagement drama on here, but we would basically be going through the same thing again and we really didn't want to. (Long story short.. we had met a couple about a two years ago that lived in our condo building, we got very close with them very quickly and when they found out that we were getting engaged, the girl cried to her boyfriend and got him to propose to her the day after our engagement.. it was so frustrating for us)..so it's not the first time that something like this has happened. That put a big damper/black cloud over our engagement for us and we didn't want a similar situation again. The sad part is..my MOH was there for me when that whole situation happened and she was so angry about what they did as well.. now she's basically doing the exact same thing to me.
@racht33 Thanks girl! I know.. it actually really upsets me because she's the one person I would always turn to and now I feel like I don't have that in this situation. I definitely agree and also suspect that it's a case of the green monster.. It's just so sad that she allowed her jealousy to take over this situation instead of being there for her close friend. As much as I kept trying to tell myself that I was overthinking it and not giving her the benefit of the doubt, I found myself going back to the thought of her being jealous and it's not only because she's trying to race me to the aisle, but also because of many comments that she has made in the past.. You could always tell that she was bitter that I was getting married before her.
I did try to reason with her and I asked her if this date she chose had significance and what the specific reason was for the date.. she told me there's no reason (she isn't pregnant! lol) and that they chose that weekend because his parent's liked that weekend. She keeps using his parents as an excuse for everything i've noticed. She also used that as an excuse as to why they are rushing into a wedding.. "his parents are christian and don't believe in .. x, y and z".. Meanwhile they have already gone against his parent's beliefs in multiple ways (including living together).