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Pjay Planning Thread - December 15, 2015 Beach Palace

2015 Brides Planning Tips Cancun Riviera Maya

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#711 pjay

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  • Wedding Date:December 15, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Beach Palace
  • LocationToronto

Posted 10 August 2015 - 11:12 AM

@veryvalentine @TinkerSofi aww thanks so much ladies. I'm definitely a stress eater as well.. I need to stop myself now. I've been getting a little bit better, but I do plan to start hot yoga next week so hopefully it's that extra motivation and push that I need. I find when I get more active it helps me in many aspects and especially with healthy eating. I feel terrible eating poorly when I am putting so much physical work into something.

 

@deecol @calgarybride2015 @Wafflesmom I love the idea of a support group. It's so great when you can go through something together and be able to relate. Love it!


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#712 pjay

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 09:54 AM

Ladies I need some talking off the ledge (not literally) right now.. i'm so upset.

 

My MOH who has been acting so supportive of my entire wedding has just tossed a bit of a wrench in everything for me. Just to give you a bit of a history..

 

This time last year she was seeing someone and it didn't really work out... She started seeing another guy about a month after Chester and I got engaged (November 2014). I was very happy for her because she was finally with someone who cared about her etc. Recently he popped the question to her (a couple weeks ago). She had told me she was planning to have a city hall wedding with him at some point. Knowing that my planned legal ceremony date was November 11, 2015, she decided on the date of November 7....

 

I know this sounds ridiculous right now.. but this is the girl who has been helping me plan my wedding since last year. I can't even properly express how upsetting this is to me.

I've explained to her how I feel and she thinks that i'm upset that she's getting married before me. She doesn't understand my point that it's inconsiderate for her to do this right in the midst of everything going on with my wedding and my legal ceremony that's less than a week later. She's also decided on a full on wedding reception etc. So not the 'low key city hall wedding' she had originally noted.

 

I've talked to some friends and colleagues and they all said this would upset them. I honestly just can't believe this right now.. 

 


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#713 veryvalentine

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 11:07 AM

Awwww sending you hugs.  First, can I just say how excited I am to meet you in person on Friday!! Yay.

 

I can see why you are annoyed.  It is literally only 4 days before your legal wedding.  She's your best friend and MOH and she is now going to be super involved with her own wedding which is basically a month before your destination wedding.

 

She didn't have control on the proposal...but she did have control on setting a date.

Did she explain why they set a date so quickly and so close to yours?



 
 
Married on June 20th, 2015 at the Grand Sunset Princess Riviera Gazebo & Reception at the Chill Out with 60 guests
 
 

My planning thread:  http://www.bestdesti...unset-princess/

My review thread:  http://www.bestdesti...incess-wedding/


#714 snswedding2016

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 11:28 AM

I couldn't agree more with @veryvalentine on both fronts (thoughts about your MOH and meeting you on friday!!)

 

It does seem odd that she would pick a date so close to both your legal and destination wedding, especially being so involved with your planning and being your MOH. Why such a rush to get married especially since she was just proposed to? I wonder if there may be something bigger going on. 

 

When my MOH got married 5 years ago, another close friend of ours got engaged half way through her engagement and tried to get married a month before her. In the end she couldn't get the place she wanted but it in this case this other friend was very jealous of my MOH and felt like she needed to compete. I'm not saying it is the same with your friend but even if it isn't the case, it can sometimes feel that way and I totally understand how hard that it. It was really hard for my MOH and this other friend to really enjoy the rest of her engagement. I still really feel bad for her when I look back on how that all unfolded. 

 

It also sounds like she's not willing to see it from your perspective, which is really hurtful. Can you try and talk to her again about how you're feeling or does it seem like she's just unwilling to see it from your side?


My planning thread - http://www.bestdesti...016-azul-fives/

 

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#715 pjay

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 11:35 AM

@snswedding2016 @veryvalentine I've tried not to think of it in this way, but I honestly think that a lot of it has to do with envy. There were so many comments that she's made in the past that led me to believe it. She is three years older than me and she always gave me the impression that she was so deserving of it because of her age and I feel like it bothered her when I got engaged before her because i'm younger than her. To me it's so petty because i've been with Chester longer than I've even known her.

 

I've kind of just decided to let it sit with her and not beat a dead horse. I've told her how I feel and it seems that she's selfishly not understanding my point because she wants to go through with this wedding on her date. She told me that my wedding has nothing to do with hers, but I can't help but to disagree with her because I do think that she's overshadowing my wedding by choosing a date so close to mine.

 

I'm honestly SO hurt. I can't even believe that this is happening to me right now and she's literally the last person I would have ever expected this to come from.

 

PS. I also cannot wait to meet you ladies. I'm beyond excited for Friday!!!


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#716 yycbride2016

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  • Wedding Location:Grand Sirenis, Riviera Maya

Posted 11 August 2015 - 12:02 PM

@perianjay

Awe I'm sorry to hear that your MOH is doing this to you. Are you playing a role in her wedding? I'm just wondering a couple of things. Are you making a big deal out of your legal ceremony or are you going to keep it low key so that you only really have the DW? If that's the case I wouldn't worry too much about your friend's wedding, just let it pass and all will be good. Also, do you know if Nov 7th has any importance to them just like the 11th has to you? Might be worth asking, perhaps then she could move it even like a week prior to that if there is no significance. It really sucks that it's going to be so close to your legal ceremony date. I'd be a little mad too if I were you. I know for us we are only telling our parents and siblings of the legal ceremony and no one else will know just to keep the DW special for us. You just have to figure out if your friendship is worth more than arguing over wedding dates. It might be a good idea to be the bigger person in the friendship and just play along with being happy for her, even if it upset you. Might be worth it to save a friendship. Just thoughts... I hope it works out for you <3


~*~YYCBRIDE2016~*~

My planning thread 

 


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#717 pjay

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 12:05 PM

@yycbride2016 Yea, i've tried pretty hard to see past it all and reason with her. I did ask her if the date has any significance and she said it doesn't it's just a weekend his parents would prefer. The legal wedding date is still really important to Chester and I because it's the day that we are officially husband and wife. For me I just really didn't see why it was necessary for her to chose a date only a few days before ours when she had known this date for almost a year.

As much as I do want to be the bigger person, it hurts me and I think that she needs to understand that as a friend. What is bothering me the most is not only the fact that she had chosen that date, but the fact that she is not being considerate of my feelings.


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#718 yycbride2016

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 12:08 PM

@perianjay Thats fair! I'm sorry that it's adding so much more stress to what is supposed to be such a happy time for everyone. Wedding planning is NOT easy that's for sure and then to get something like this shoved in your face is just not fair. If she's a really good friend, just sit her down and really tell her how you feel just like you've said to all of us on here and perhaps she will come to her senses and wave the white flag! 


~*~YYCBRIDE2016~*~

My planning thread 

 


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#719 veryvalentine

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 12:10 PM

Did she ask you to be in her wedding party?  That would add so many stress levels for me if I was in your shoes.  buying a bm dress, organizing a shower, etc etc..  oh my.  



 
 
Married on June 20th, 2015 at the Grand Sunset Princess Riviera Gazebo & Reception at the Chill Out with 60 guests
 
 

My planning thread:  http://www.bestdesti...unset-princess/

My review thread:  http://www.bestdesti...incess-wedding/


#720 Meandhim

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 12:29 PM

@perianjay@snswedding2016@veryvalentine

 

I also can't wait to see you all on Friday!!! 

 

I had a similar thing happen to me...My Bridesmaid and oldest friend got engaged almost a year after me and scheduled her wedding for just few months later which was a week after my Legal Ceremony. 

 

However... I was not upset....again this is just me, I'm a pretty positive person and I do not know your friend, so please don't take offence...

 

Like your friend, I believe they are two separate happy events and one has nothing to do with other. I do not think my friend was jealous or trying to beat me down the Isle. If anything she was missing out because I didn't have as much time to help her as she had already helped me. I'm sure that this just happened to be the time that worked for her, her FI and their Family.

 

I also don't think her wedding over shadowed mine. We have a lot of similar d├ęcor items because we have the same taste but I now have the opportunity to improve on mine. We have a lot of the same friends as well. We all had soon much fun dancing til dawn! When it was all over everyone kept saying how they just couldn't wait until My wedding in Punta Cana so we could do it all again! If anything it was a jump start to excitement of going to my wedding.

 

I would say let her have her day, maybe it will be a good prequel to yours!. It's not Nov 11th...it just happens to be a few days before. Your day will still be your day. The legal ceremony wont be any less special to You and Chester if they get married before you or after you. You have to think about if getting married a few days apart is worth a friendship.

 

That being said I do not know your friend and I can only speak from my own personal experience so I hope you can work it out! Stay Positive!!!


 
My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015
 
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