Update Regarding My Wedding

[kmk2016]

Well girls... I have struggled with sharing this with you all, as I have come to love the friendships made here and was embarrassed to share my news... But realized I had to do so.

 

I have ended my engagement and cancelled the wedding. After 4 years with my FI, I could not longer make excuses for the way he treated my kids (twin boys) or myself. He was unwilling to be an active part of their life or treat them with common decency and they deserved better- so I made the difficult decision to ask him to leave and cancel our dream wedding.

 

It was tough but I know it was 100% the right decision and I know that we are ALL better for it.

 

Many of our nearly 100 guests have chosen to lose their deposits and cancel, but there looks to be about 20-30 of us that still travel that week and so I will still plan a couple events while down there to celebrate the friendships and my loved ones who have supported me. That being said, although I won't be planning the wedding I had envisioned any more, I would still love to stick around here and share with all your happiness- and plan my own smaller-scaled celebration.... Even if not a wedding... With you all.

 

Disappointed that I won't be getting married alongside you all- but I feel like a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

 

Good luck girls... Hope you don't mind my sticking around!

[acw271011]

So very, very sorry to hear this Kim. The absolute MOST important thing is that you feel it's the right decision for you and your boys!! That's all that matters. Nothing else. Not what anyone thinks, or says or does. The fact that there are people hanging in with you tells you just how many people there are that love you. Hold on to that. You will come out on the other side of this, I promise. Everything happens for a reason, and while you may not know what the reason is right away, one day you will find out and understand how much of a right decision you made.

 

AND YOU ABSOLUTELY BETTER STAY HERE!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!!! lol I need another canadian moderator to help me keep all these wild canadian brides in check!! lmao

[IvanLuckiePhotography]

Sorry to hear this, you deserve respect as well as your kids, you worth more!!! You are a person and deserve to be treat like that!

[AllieH]

Kim - I am so sorry to hear this. I agree that you have to make the right choices for you and the kids. It doesn't matter what others think or say. And it's better to come to that realization now. Sending some hugs your way. It sounds like a great celebration is still in the works with your nearest and dearest. 

[TinkerSofi]

Kim I'm so sorry to hear about this. It's strange because even though none of us have met you, I probably speak for many of us, it feels as though we know you. It's never easy to come to that decision, especially after being with someone for so long, but at the end of the day, if this didn't feel right it is for the best. Under no circumstances should you have to settle for someone who doesn't treat you or your family right. 

 

Don't be embarrassed. There's a saying that my fiance always says, it's in spanish so I'll do my best to translate it: "Better blushed for a little while than for the rest of your life". So it might not feel like the greatest time right now, but props to you for following your instincts and sticking with it, no matter how hard it might be at the moment

 

I hope for the best and please stick around! we value in these forums!!

Edited January 18, 2015 by TinkerSofi

[MrsCtoB]

Sorry to hear about what your going through but admire how strong you are. It takes a lot of guts and strength to do this! Wish I could give ya a hug. I know many friends who went through with this decision, knowing that it was not right and let's just say things didn't end well for them. 

Glad to hear you are still going on your trip with some loved ones! I hope it brings you the peace and serenity you deserve. 

I certainly hope you will still hang around! Sending you hugs and hope you can begin to heal xo 

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

It takes a lot of strength and conviction to post what you did. Happy to hear that you made the right decision for your boys. Kids always come first. So rejoice in your strength and let it be a true testimony of real love. Love for your boys and love for yourself. Hugs.

[kmk2016]

Thanks Girls.... Yes my kids are most important... And with the financial stress that the relationship caused (I funded 99% of the relationship), as well as the constant requests for change from him- I was not at my best either... And that too was not acceptable for my kids! They deserved to see me respected and adored along with them... They are boys and I want them to model proper treatment to women and this was no way to start!

 

I am already so much less stressed- despite the stack of mid-production wedding DIY projects stacked in my office, or the box of personalized OOT bags in the closet.... I will make use of them in a fun way (my girlfriend joked I needed to find a man with the same name as my ex, or a man who was soooo loving he would change his name- but I have better ideas haha).... At the end of the day- I have always succeeded and come out stronger and better- won't stop that trend now! My kids and I deserve for me to keep plugging along to true happiness!

 

I appreciate you all more than I can articulate. I will stick around here and offer my input as long as you will have me!

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

Those damn OOT bags! I hate OOT bags lol!!!

[Mrsktobe]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through as that's not a decision that you must of made lightly but proud of you for realizing what you needed to do! The love and support of your family is amazing - I'm sure you will make great memories while down with them on a trip. Thinking of you!