First off, congrats on your engagement! I agree with kmk. I'm not a big fan of mentioning the gifts or registry on the invitation, but if you have a website (which I highly recommend for a DW) you can add it on there. We are telling people that gifts are not necessary but if they would like to give us something they can either give us money or buy from a registry (not sure yet if we'll even do a registry). Basically I don't want to put people under pressure to spend even more money on our wedding. I understand that this is basically a vacation for most people, but I don't want to come across as greedy.
As for the shower, I pictured my shower without gifts haha. I just want to have a good time with my guests but that's it. So if you're willing to do that, you can just ask people not to bring any gifts to the shower but he can still sort of get that experience.
This is the first wedding for both of us by the way
I was feeling the same way as you before I was speaking to a good friend and she was like out of 200 people maybe 30 will come. They are super close family on his side, and I know they are the type to send gifts no matter what. Then it had me started to think well I dont want them sending money because that will just go to the wedding, bills or baby supplies. Money just goes. I'd rather have things that we could use in the future in a new home, like if we were going to have a shower.. So torn.... Thanks for your input though
Just an FYI, people really surprised us when they started to book! We thought we'd have about 40 people max but pretty much everyone said yes and booked haha, so we have almost 50 guests. Mostly the ones that said no were my extended family in Argentina because all inclusives for them are extremely expensive.
I totally get it, about the money, it goes on the most every-day expenses and it's kind of a bummer. I would do a registry and put the information on your website, but I wouldn't mention it on my invites. Let's say some people say no and still want to send you a gift, if they didn't check out the website they'll ask either you or your parents, so they'll still get the info.