I was going to post my remarks in response to someone else's post about their at home legal ceremony, but then I realized my dilemma seemed a little overly complicated for the topic!
My FI and I are getting married a week before we leave for our trip in my church. I'm Catholic, so to have my marriage recognized in the church it HAS to be in the church building by a priest. I'm finding it stressful knowing what to tell people who ask how we're getting married. The majority of people don't realize that we might be having a ceremony at home so they wouldn't think to ask, but my catholic friends know the "rules," so a few have already asked me how we're getting married, or if I'm not having my marriage recognized in the church. So far I've just been telling the truth--I don't want to lie to a direct question, nor do I want them to think my marriage won't be recognized in the church. BUT, I don't want too many people to know that we're getting married ahead of time--I'm afraid people will think they're wasting their time going all the way to Mexico for a "fake wedding" (even though I obviously don't see it that way).
Also, now I feel like my mom is over-inviting people to the legal ceremony. We were just going to do parents, grandparents (they aren't able to travel), siblings (who are going to stand up for us as our witnesses,) and possibly four close aunts and uncles who can't travel to Mexico. That's quite a few people as it is, but yesterday my mom asked if her friend could come because she's a "good Catholic girl" who can't come to Mexico and would really like to come, and thinks I should invite my confirmation sponsor, who is a close family friend who is also coming to Mexico....ugh.
So after that long-winded rant, how should I respond when people ask how I'm going to have my marriage recognized in the church? Should I tell the truth, or say that we somehow found a way around it, or something else? Even for those of you who aren't Catholic, are you up front about getting married ahead of time or after in the states?