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JennyZ

Mother And Father Of The Groom Not Attending?!?!

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That sounds like a big risk. What if you change the dates and pricing for guests changes as well as losing their deposits? If that's all ok, my only concern would be that you change the dates and they still put up a fuss about coming/end up not coming.  I hope you guys can find a solution that works for everyone! Keep us updated!

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Ummm.. yeah..... I wouldn't do it!!! Call me what you want, but I think that's utterly selfish!!! I can't possibly fathom could be more important than your son (or daughter) getting married especially when your date is nearly a year away. It sounds to me like they're just giving every excuse in the book and not really stating what the issue is. I would sit down with all of them and get to the heart of the matter. Additionally, it's not fair to your guests who have already paid and blocked off time on their calendar to be with the both of you. 

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My understanding is they would like the date changed, so a few people who do not like our December date, can make it.

 

I spent a few hours having to explain how with destination weddings, ANY DATE, is not going to work for everyone!

 

I have a bunch of family members unable to attend, either for money or date issues... However, I would have NEVER asked all of the already confirmed guests, to lose their deposits AND have to pay more for a trip in peak season (i.e in January or February instead, to suit 2 - 4 other people!) NOOOO WAYYYY!

 

Sadly, what it comes down to, is my FI has not been communicating with his family during our 4 months of planning (his family are long distance away) and now 6 days before the deposit is due, he is reaching out to them and finding all this out (Shame on them for not bringing up any concerns when the wedding plans were announced 2-3 months ago!) I have been in contact with all of our friends and my family, making sure everyone is on board, hence why only my side has been booking.

 

A few members of his family stated that their kids (under highschool age) would be in school in December, so they couldnt make it - I specifically planned the wedding Saturday to Saturday, so guest would only lose 5 days and be able to travel on the weekend/time off. Sooooo.... The kids dont have school in January or February??? lol!

 

Those who want to be there, WILL MAKE IT WORK. I've been asked to "view it from an objective angle" but I'm finding this very inconsiderate of guests to be dictating OUR wedding (especially when my family is paying everything for all of them and they are not offering in anything but headaches so far)

 

Wow. What a night and a morning so far! :blink:

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I totally understand the kid spectrum BUT they are also in school every other month but July and August. I have 5 kids coming to mine and the only person who hesitated for a minute was my aunt as her son is in grade 12. When she found out exams were in December she booked. Kids can miss a week unless there are exams and even then (here anyways) weddings are listed as a reason you can postpone exams.

So what's the final result?

I'm with the others, I'd hold your ground. You will never ever make everyone happy. We almost cancelled ours in Mexico for fiance's dad and step mom but held our ground and they came around.

I could understand if they had spoken up months ago, but you are 6 days from your deadline, and you and your guests have a lot of money invested already.

 

Good luck!!


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Edited by calgarybride2015
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Wow.. well I hope that come around for you and your fiancé's sake. And I agree, those that want to be there will absolutely make it work. Try not to let it stress you too much!! Good luck!!

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@@JennyZ Definitely hold your ground. Doesn't matter what month you choose, someone won't be able to make it. With this much time left, there is $5000 on the line and others already having booked time. You have given them plenty of time to find a solution to make it in December. Like the others said, they'll come around when there isn't any other choice. You'll probably lose more people when you change it and they're afraid to lose their deposits again. You shouldn't feel guilty about not changing things to accommodate them at all. 

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@@JennyZ

As hard as it is you need to do what you want. I struggled with this in the beginning and I still have some days that I feel like I'm failing. However after talking numerous times with my Fiancés family I've just decided to let it go. It turns out that they had our wedding completely "planned" and anything we would have done different was wrong. So even if you change the date, if they are like my future inlaws they will find a reason that the new date won't work. As long as you and your fiancé are happy you will have the perfect day :)

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Update....

 

So there is a lot of upset going on (obviously) and I have a FI who is taking a lot of grief from his family and now dishing it out to me.

 

My FI now thinks I have rushed everything too much and we should have sent out a "survey" to ask his family members which date(s) would work best for all of them...... :wacko:

 

Needless to say, I am kind of appalled/feeling unappreciated for all the time I have spent planning everything.

 

The last time I checked, wedding invitations didnt come with a "fill in the blank" for the date, right?

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No they don't and quite honestly even if you did a survey they wouldn't all mesh between your side and his, so it doesn't get you that much further ahead.

 

I don't truthfully feel he thinks you rushed. He's just upset cause of his family. He has a voice and he could have spoken up if he felt rushed or unsure etc. Sorry :(

 

Third thought... He's also had ALL this time to be in touch with them about plans, dates, deadlines, etc. That's also not your issue but his.

 

I personally feel at this point you are much to far in to turn back. Good luck

 

 

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