Please Help.. I Think I Picked The Wrong Maid Of Honor

[michellemanoogian]

HELP!i think i picked the wrong maid of honor

my best friend of 12 years was less than excited when i told her i got engaged.. in fact he didnt want to talk to me about it untill two weeks after. fast forward to my engagement party.. where she forgot to bring her dessert she said she would bring, showed up two hours late, and stayed for all of MAYBE an hour. When i asked her why she left so early she said she was tire it was hot and a long list of excuses..

on the flip side, my very close friend and soon to be sister in law (whom ive known for about 6 years) is more than estatic about the wedding and has been so involved in everything. in fact, she threw the engagement party for us.

 

i tried telling my best friend that i think it would be better if she were just a breidmaid and she refused and said only my actual sister should do it (not my sister in law). the conversation never really finished..just got more awkward..

keep in mind my sister also thinks my sister in law she be the MOH becasue shes older than my little sis (whos only 19) and is married and knows how these things work.

 

now i have a dress fitting where they will all be and i want to make sure that my sister in law is the new maid of honor. she already knows whats going on with all this and has basically accepted.. how do i tell my first maid of honor that i just want her to be a bridesmaid?! HELP PLEASE

[cfinkenbine]

Sister in law sounds like a perfect maid of honor… (or MATRON if she is married). Some people have a matron and a maid of honor. It really is all up to you. A best friend who is not stepping up or cannot step up to all the duties should be perfectly happy considering the circumstances of being a bridesmaid. Notice I said not JUST a bridesmaid…because they are still all very important to your special day! Best of luck!

[michellemanoogian]

@@cfinkenbine !! a matron and a maid of honor! i could have both!!!! that would be perfect ! that way i can have the matron by my side!!!!

[cfinkenbine]

I actually have no friends who are already married, so I will only be having a MOH. But a lot of brides have both, plus it divides the work load by half!

[jackielemman]

Have a Matron and Maid of Honor! That would be special and you wouldn't be hurting your best friends feelings as much. 

[TinkerSofi]

Sister in law sounds like a perfect maid of honor… (or MATRON if she is married). Some people have a matron and a maid of honor. It really is all up to you. A best friend who is not stepping up or cannot step up to all the duties should be perfectly happy considering the circumstances of being a bridesmaid. Notice I said not JUST a bridesmaid…because they are still all very important to your special day! Best of luck!

I agree here. Maybe you can add a matron of honour without changing your friend's title. Of course the matron would be more involved in this case than the MOH but it would avoid the feeling of being "demoted" for your friend. In a way, you would be recognizing your sister-in-law as an important person in the wedding and you would avoid hurting your relationship with your friend. You can also have two maids of honours. I do, for different reasons, one is here in the same country to help me but the other one is my oldest friend. DW are so non traditional that I thought "to hell with the silly titles" hahah.

 

I think the choice really depends on how your friend would take it. Some people really don't give a crap about the wedding until you ask them to step down and then all hell breaks loose, but they weren't even being helpful before (or after, you know, once they're all offended). Others might take it really well and thank you for taking the responsibility off their shoulders, which they didn't want in the first place. It seems that your friend is the former so unless you don't care if the relationship goes south maybe just leave her where she is and give your sister in law some more recognition. 

[TammyWright]

This sounds like a perfect solution!

 

Have a Matron and Maid of Honor! That would be special and you wouldn't be hurting your best friends feelings as much.