Help! I Think I Picked The Wrong Moh

[michellemanoogian]

HELP!i think  i picked the wrong maid of honor

my best friend of 12 years was less than excited when i told her i got engaged.. in fact he didnt want to talk to me about it untill two weeks after. fast forward to my engagement party.. where she forgot to bring her dessert she said she would bring, showed up two hours late, and stayed for all of MAYBE an hour. When i asked her why she left so early she said she was tire it was hot and a long list of excuses..

on the flip side, my very close friend and soon to be sister in law (whom ive known for about 6 years) is more than estatic about the wedding and has been so involved in everything. in fact, she threw the engagement party for us.

 

i tried telling my best friend that i think it would be better if she were just a breidmaid and she refused and said only my actual sister should do it (not my sister in law). the conversation never really finished..just got more awkward..

keep in mind my sister also thinks my sister in law she be the MOH becasue shes older than my little sis (whos only 19) and is married and knows how these things work.

 

now i have a dress fitting where they will all be and i want to make sure that my sister in law is the new maid of honor. she already knows whats going on with all this and has basically accepted.. how do i tell my first maid of honor that i just want her to be a bridesmaid?! HELP PLEASE

[lydiasusi]

don't have anyone up there.... except you and your husband

 

Simple. 

 

It's not about anyone else's feelings,  except you and the one you're marrying.

 

Weddings have become about other people, rather than the two people it's really about.

 

Think about it.  

 

It's this creating more drama and stress, on top of what you already have to deal with?

 

Wipe your hands of it. 

[nadiakat17]

Yeah that's a hard situation. I understand the current MOH sucks but unless its her decision, it seems like it will add a ton of drama to try to demote her. Honestly if I was in her shoes I would be pissed and it would wreck the friendship. I wouldn't want to be in the wedding. At the same time I understand your thinking

[amanda2016]

Keep her as a maid of honor and make your SIL a Matron of honor. Tell your friend that she is a married woman and she has been through this before. You just thought it would be a good idea to have a Matron to guide you through your wedding. Hopefully that will difuse the situation. Good Luck..

Edited October 22, 2014 by amandankeith

[Mangosong]

@@michellemanoogian I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Could it be that she's jealous or envious?

 

I think the best way to avoid drama is not to demote her (it'll just create more drama than it's worth for you), but just to promote your SIL to your matron of honor.

[jeffandrobyn]

I was thinking the same thing - jealousy. I also agree on not causing drama and leaving your current MOH and add your SIL. There will be a lot of awkwardness otherwise. Would that be worth it to you?

[stefadile]

Keep her as a maid of honor and make your SIL a Matron of honor. Tell your friend that she is a married woman and she has been through this before. You just thought it would be a good idea to have a Matron to guide you through your wedding. Hopefully that will difuse the situation. Good Luck..

Very good advice!!! This way you are including your future SIL but not demoting your current moh , which could end up being very messy, and dramatic! Good luck with your decision..

Edited November 9, 2014 by stefadile