I live in SK. My family and bridesmaids live in Ontario. I have a trip home planned for this November, likely my only trip before the wedding next fall. I asked my bridesmaids (one sister and two friends) to book off the Saturday so we could go shopping in Michigan. I asked them not to tell anyone because I wanted it to just be us. I talked to my mother a few days later and told her that I would be going shopping with my bridesmaids on the Saturday and that we could go shopping in my hometown another day when she's free.
Fifteen minutes ago, I booked an appt at David's Bridal and forwarded the email confirmation to my bridesmaids. My sister lives with my mother and apparently told her about it IMMEDIATELY because within two minutes I have my sister on the phone telling me that I've upset my mother by not inviting her and she's feeling left out.
This may sound callous, but I am not going to be responsible for my mother's feelings. I told her that this was happening months ago when I booked the trip. I told her that we would go shopping together on another day, but that Saturday was a day for me to spend with my bridesmaids. She knew all of this. I am not going to apologize for spending time with my friends.
She also pulled this for mother's day last year. She apparently told each of my siblings individually how upset she was that I hadn't called her. She ignored the fact that
1. I sent her a gift
2. I sent her an email
3. I always call her on sunday evenings AFTER dinner
4. SHE WASN'T EVEN HOME WHEN I CALLED FOR HER.
When my older sister got married, she tried to talk her into letting both parents walk her down the aisle so she wouldn't be "Excluded"