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Who Is Paying For This?

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Although I still know plenty of people who have had a wedding paid for by the brides family, the majority (in my circle of friends) pay for it themselves, myself included.  I used to wish my parents would pay for my wedding (because that would mean they would have more money), but I knew from a young age that wouldn't happen.  

 

I do agree that it helps you stay in control of the wedding and don't have to do stuff just because someone else was paying for it.  Of course it would be "easier" to just have it all paid for, but we are 7 months out and have 90% of our wedding paid for and that feels really really good!

 

Best of luck and my biggest advice is don't get into debt over a wedding....

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Although I still know plenty of people who have had a wedding paid for by the brides family, the majority (in my circle of friends) pay for it themselves, myself included.  I used to wish my parents would pay for my wedding (because that would mean they would have more money), but I knew from a young age that wouldn't happen.  

 

I do agree that it helps you stay in control of the wedding and don't have to do stuff just because someone else was paying for it.  Of course it would be "easier" to just have it all paid for, but we are 7 months out and have 90% of our wedding paid for and that feels really really good!

 

Best of luck and my biggest advice is don't get into debt over a wedding....

 

Good for you!

I bet that feels like a relief.

 

When we set out to get married we had 8 months and we picked a budget based on what we could save before the wedding. We set a tight budget to have it all saved by November 30th.  Barring any things we forgot to budget for and/or surprises at the resort.   It has been tough sometimes and it drives fiance nuts I am always crunching numbers.... but I said I would not have debt from my wedding and I think he will thank me for it later hehe.  Thankfully he has been doing well at work (contractor) so I could do some of the extras I had my eye on but weren't in my original budget! Debt stresses me out, probably from digging myself out as a single parent (I was left with everything when I split with the kid's dad) so now I am very anal on what is charged and what is not, etc. 

Edited by calgarybride2015
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Good for you!

I bet that feels like a relief.

 

When we set out to get married we had 8 months and we picked a budget based on what we could save before the wedding. We set a tight budget to have it all saved by November 30th.  Barring any things we forgot to budget for and/or surprises at the resort.   It has been tough sometimes and it drives fiance nuts I am always crunching numbers.... but I said I would not have debt from my wedding and I think he will thank me for it later hehe.  Thankfully he has been doing well at work (contractor) so I could do some of the extras I had my eye on but weren't in my original budget! Debt stresses me out, probably from digging myself out as a single parent (I was left with everything when I split with the kid's dad) so now I am very anal on what is charged and what is not, etc. 

thanks!!  It really does feel good.  I am the anal one too and my fiance was still paying off his first wedding when we met (they were married for about a year before she left) and I refuse to have debt every again.  Did it once and hated that feeling enough to be crazy about my budgets now.  So I totally feel where you are coming from too, its much better this Way!

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We are paying for everything ourselves. Since everyone is paying so much to come plus shopping before they go we don't expect anything. I am sure our parents will give us wedding gifts (money) and we will use that to pay for our honey moon.

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Best advice: budget what you can afford, not depending on what others will give. I saw that happen to a friend, she was 100% positive that her dad would give her $5000 towards the wedding, and he ended up only giving $700.

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I'm from the Midwest as well! We are paying for our wedding entirely, but we are in our early 30s and have also planned a wedding we can afford to pay cash for. When my sister got married (also a DW) my dad paid for a welcome reception, which I would guess was around $500. Still a very nice gesture and not expected.

 

Of my friends who have gotten married - it has been a mixed bag on who paid. My friends whose parents paid often wished they hadn't - because you lose some control over your decisions. One of my friends had very little say in the guest list because her future in-laws were paying - so she had a bunch of their friends there she didn't even know. I am very independent and don't like being told what to do! My money, my decisions :) I prefer it that way!

You are so right…I guess I never though about it being my money, my decisions. I have full control over everything we choose, because hey we are paying for it. We also have been paying for as much in cash in advance as we can. The less closer to the wedding the better.

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We're paying for it ourselves. My parents are paying for my siblings (brother, sister & brother in law). I've always been independent - I went to an expensive private school but only because I got over 100k in scholarship money between academic and athletic. I still took out 13k in loans, but paid it off within 10 months of graduation. His parents aren't well off, I told my sweet mother in law rather than giving us money if she watched our kids the night before the wedding and of, that's more than enough (she offered first and then money! ). We have great jobs and he's a penny pincher so we'll pay cash (or put on card to get reward points then pay off immediately lol). I'll be 30 on our wedding day - I feel weird thinking my parents will pay much, especially as my mother has made it clear she feels paying for siblings is my gift. ..

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We're paying for it ourselves. My parents are paying for my siblings (brother, sister & brother in law). I've always been independent - I went to an expensive private school but only because I got over 100k in scholarship money between academic and athletic. I still took out 13k in loans, but paid it off within 10 months of graduation. His parents aren't well off, I told my sweet mother in law rather than giving us money if she watched our kids the night before the wedding and of, that's more than enough (she offered first and then money! ). We have great jobs and he's a penny pincher so we'll pay cash (or put on card to get reward points then pay off immediately lol). I'll be 30 on our wedding day - I feel weird thinking my parents will pay much, especially as my mother has made it clear she feels paying for siblings is my gift. ..

 

My mother in law is watching our kids too.  On the wedding night forsure, but she has offered every night and fiance nixed that!  It is her vacation too, she isn't there only to babysit. The gesture as sure nice though!   We are hoping we can ask my dad to take them the day after the wedding so we feel we got one day to ourselves to enjoy being newlyweds!

 

I do believe I remember you mentioned that your mother's gift to you was your siblings going! I am happy that all your siblings are able to go!!!

Edited by calgarybride2015
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She did the same and we said just those two nights is more than enough! I'm also thrilled they can go! Only my immediate family is planning on coming and so that makes it even more special that they can come. The family on both sides that I really want to be there is already booked including flights and so if no one else comes other than my best friend I don't mind :)

Edited by marinah84

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My FI and I are lucky enough to have our parents pay for almost everything. His parents are covering the welcome dinner since there is no rehearsal dinner, and my parents are covering the wedding. I've put in quite a bit in terms of deposits and FI paid enough for my ring. We both have advanced degrees and he's in the middle of paying his student loans and I recently bought a house, so we're not in the position of shelling out the amount this wedding is costing, which is definitely not cheaper than it would have been at home in Chicago. I hope that we are able to pay for our children's wedding someday too, but we have been very fortunate.

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