Hesitant To Do A Registry

[Kerrierf]

Hi everyone,

 

What're you doing for a gift registry?  My partner and I already live together, and we both agreed that asking people to travel to our wedding is a gift enough.  How have you handled your registries?  Is it absolutely necessary?  

 

Thanks!

[calgarybride2015]

We aren't doing a registry.

We didn't list anything about gifts on our wedding website either.

 

If people ask about a registry and/or gifts we politely say that them travelling to our wedding is gift enough for us!

 

I am sure we will still receive things but we are trying not to! 

 

I could be wrong but the nice thing about a destination wedding is that if you do get something - it will be small, like a card, because no one travels to a DW with a large gift. Well I wouldn't lol.  Majority of our guests don't live near us.

[kmk2016]

No registry here! After having friends and family spend $2000+/pp to attend our wedding, I would never want to insinuate that gifts were also expected. A registry (IMO) basically says "hey we want this stuff"... So nope- passing!

[JamaicaNicole]

I think we are going to do a registry but I have internally debated it a lot. I still want to have the whole bridal shower experience and we had another member in the family who had a DW who also still had a bridal shower. Ultimately it is up to you one thing that I have learned in this process is at the end if the day it's is your experience and your wedding and people will always judge and have comments do what you want and what will make you and your fiancé happy!

[LauraM]

NO registry here. I think it would be rude to ask for gifts on top of requesting that everyone pay so much to celebrate with me. 

[BrideToBeJolie]

We aren't doing a registry either. As most of you guys pointed out, doing a destination wedding is already asking a lot of our guests so we are just happy with their presence

[beckys98]

Same! We decided against doing a registry and we've taken a lot of crap for it. I hear from my married friends that it is my turn to "cash in" since I've spent so much on other people's wedding gifts. It is totally true that I've spent thousands upon thousands on other people's weddings between being a bridesmaid (we aren't having a bridal party either) and gifts, but it still doesn't feel right to us.

 

I am also not doing a shower, which I also have taken a lot of crap for

 

My sister got married in Mexico last year and registered and had a shower - no judgment - it is just that you have to do what feels right to you! 

[calgarybride2015]

@@beckys98

 

While it is still totally our decision, the crap you are taking just shows us that the people truly don't care and want to enjoy all your wedding that comes along with it (showers, bachelorette, the wedding itself, etc.) 

 

I also had people be like 'what?!?' you have to have a shower, what about us who don't get to come, we want to share in your day somehow.    So I plan to have some sort of a party but still will decline gifts.

[nadiakat17]

I know I am in the minority, but I am doing a registry. I am possibly going to have a wedding shower (my MIL or my moms friend wants to do it). I also was going to have a AHR where I don't feel like gifts should be given as it is not my wedding, but who knows what people will do. And not that I expect this either, but more likely than not there will be at least one person invited and not attending who will want to send a gift. I would rather get things we want/need than have people struggle over what to get us I at first was really reluctant to agree to a shower, but now want one, as I feel like it is a time to get pumped and celebrate the upcoming wedding. This will *hopefully* be the only time I will ever get married, and I would like to have the full experience, including having fun registering with my FI. 

[beckys98]

You're right @@calgarybride2015, definitely bigger problems to have than people wanting to celebrate with you! 

 

The difference between my sister's and my wedding though is she DID have a lot of her future in-laws that were not coming to Mexico, so her shower was really important as the only wedding activity the aunts, cousins, grandmas were participating in. 

 

My fiancé and I, on the other hand, don't have that. Neither one of us is very close with our extended families and even if we were they don't live anywhere near us where they would be able to come to a shower. For example, sister-in-law and stepmom (both of whom I am close with) live thousands of miles away. So the people we would invite to our shower are close friends and will be the same people who are going to come to Jamaica with us. I'll do something special with the girls before Jamaica, it is just that a traditional shower doesn't feel necessary. 

 

@@beckys98

 

While it is still totally our decision, the crap you are taking just shows us that the people truly don't care and want to enjoy all your wedding that comes along with it (showers, bachelorette, the wedding itself, etc.) 

 

I also had people be like 'what?!?' you have to have a shower, what about us who don't get to come, we want to share in your day somehow.    So I plan to have some sort of a party but still will decline gifts.