No Maids, No Groomsmen?
Posted 15 August 2014 - 12:55 PM
Don't get me wrong, I have a group of besties, but I just feel like it's unfair to ask them to not only come to my DW, pay for their flights accommodations, etc AND also pay for their dresses, shoes, etc.
I'm having a hard time because I mentioned this in passing and my friends kind of got upset that I would not have a bridal party.
The man has mixed feelings about it as well, for similar reasons.
Posted 15 August 2014 - 01:11 PM
Several things off the top.....
Can you afford to help them out with any of the costs? Are you having a legal wedding or symbolic one? If it's symbolic you don't need a bridal party anyway since witnesses aren't required. Are you going to run into hurt feelings if you don't include everyone in the bridal party or could you pick just a couple and everyone is ok with it?
I said "yes" again to the love of my life at Grand Coral Beach Club, Playa del Carmen, Mexico on our 4th anniversary - October 20, 2015
Posted 15 August 2014 - 01:21 PM
If you guys dont have siblings i would try family members first. Picking friends makes it more complicated, at least for me.
The Future Mrs. Santos
Posted 15 August 2014 - 05:10 PM
We are not sure if it's just going to be symbolic or legal yet - it basically depends on red tape?
I think I would ask my sister. I would purchase the dress for my sister. My man is not close at all with his brother, so I don't think he would ask him to be an attendant.
I guess it's just I have a lot of besties who just assumed they/want to be would be in my wedding... and got really hurt when I even brought up the idea of not having BMs. I just thought, with all the costs to usually be IN a wedding (about $1000), I didn't want to put that on them too, on top of having to come to the destination. When I thought about it, there were like 8 girls (including my sister) I would consider asking! And two girls who would like to be asked (but I would not).
Unfortunately, I could pay for my sister's dress, but I don't think I could pay for 8 dresses.
Posted 15 August 2014 - 07:11 PM
I think if you have sensed they would be hurt, then they probably have no issues paying for their trip and the dress.
I decided not to ask anyone to be in my bridal party until they had RSVP because I wanted noone to feel pressure.
For the wedding I helped with the cost of the dress ($40 each) but they all didn't care and thought I was silly.
I got their sandals and wedding jewelry as a part of their gifts. So the $120 for the dress and the cost of the trip is all it cost my gals.
Married on 2015/01/21 at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya with 43 guests in attendance
Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...s-riviera-maya/
Wedding Pictures http://www.bestdesti...ra-maya/page-36
Wedding Review http://www.bestdesti...31#entry1885600
Posted 15 August 2014 - 07:52 PM
I would say if you have girls showing interest in being in your BP, they probably understand the financial responsibility that comes along with it. I found it was good timing to ask them right after deposits were due so I knew who to expect for the big day and it allowed plenty of time for them to prepare financially for the cost of the attire although I did help them each a bit. In the end if you feel it might hurt feelings or be more of a hassle, its your day and whatever your vision looks like is what you should go with.
Posted 22 August 2014 - 02:48 PM
We aren't having a bridal party at our wedding. It is going to be so small anyways (around 30 people) and we don't want to deal with the stress or drama that it can add. It is mostly family coming and a couple of really close friends that will be there through the whole process that I don't think anyone will be offended that they aren't "standing" next to us at the aisle.
Posted 24 August 2014 - 08:12 AM
We aren't having a bridal party and we expect about 60 guests at our wedding. We would have had trouble selecting because we would have had uneven numbers - and he has some female friends that would have either been on his side or bumped other girls on my side.
I didn't want to put any additional cost burden's on my friends, but my real (selfish) reason for not wanting a bridal party is all the additional coordination it takes. Figuring out dresses, shoes, jewelry, hair/makeup, gifts, guys outfits, etc. We are doing a DW to make it simpler and that seemed like a little much for me! But I still have a group of girls I'm going to invite to have brunch with me on the wedding day and come hang out with me for awhile while I get ready. So they'll still feel party of the day but in a more relaxed way.
Posted 25 August 2014 - 04:07 PM
I am having a bridal party but because I know my friends wanted to be apart of my special day. They were excited to be bridesmaids. I am paying for them to get their hair and makeup done. And they purchased their dresses, but each girl was able to pick out her own style and get what she wanted (all just got the color I wanted for wedding). I will be taking care of their jewelry and shoes.
Posted 25 August 2014 - 04:52 PM
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