Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I can't tell you how many tears I've shed over the exact same thing. I keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter who is there, it's about the two of us joining in marriage, as long as my fiancé is there everyone else is just a bonus....but that is easier said than done when some of my friends and family have said things I've found a little hurtful. I really need to stop taking everything to heart but that's not the kind of person I am. We've had people complain about the cost and I've also felt like I had to "sell" people on coming and others are really excited and are thinking of it as a vacation, which is what we want. A very wise bride said to me on here once- There are two things that bring out the best and worst in people: weddings and funerals. I find that to be totally true!

 

And having children!

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Don't feel guilty!  This is YOUR wedding day and this is how you want to do it.  The people that can't afford to come simply will not attend.  The hardest part is just realizing that you wont have everyone that you want to have there.  My fiance's father is on disability and not working so we told him we would pay for him.   But everyone else if they wanted to come the option was there, but we didn't want to force anyone to attend or put anyone into debt because of it.  We are having a joint shower so that everyone that can't attend can still celebrate with us at the shower.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

I LOVE your post! I have a lot of the same reasoning as you! The only difference is that I AM being guilt tripped by both my mother and my FI's dad about the price. We keep telling them that they aren't required to be there and that we are planning to have it recorded to play at our reception when we return. I don't however understand why they are complaining about the price when, like you said, they take large trips every couple years AND they offered to help pay for a wedding if we have it locally...

Uh, well! I get to marry my best friend! I am happy as long as we are both there. Anyone else that comes is a nice little bonus! 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that's the hardest part is trying to weigh having your dream wedding with not having everyone there. Like you I'm having a AHR so I have stopped feeling so guilty. The only one that stings is that my FI Best Man is probably not coming so I'm not sure what our wedding party will look like.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

I feel a lot of guilt over the fact that my grandparents can't be there, even though they'll be attending the legal ceremony before we go.  :(  Anyone else?

 

As far as the cost factor, it crossed my mind, but my FI and I have made it very clear since we began talking about the wedding that no one should feel obligated to go or bad if they can't go.  When people have regretfully told me that they wouldn't be able to make it, I just get them really pumped up about the AHR!

 

The people that are taking the time and money to go to our wedding are SUPER excited, so I don't feel a whole lot of guilt there! But I do think it's important to take the time to make the week special for them with little extras when they're investing that much time and money into you.  Planning little (non-mandatory) get togethers throughout the week, having a nice welcome bag and favors, spending time with each of your guests throughout the week, seeing them off to the airport if you can...that helps to show that you don't take their generosity for granted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel a lot of guilt over the fact that my grandparents can't be there, even though they'll be attending the legal ceremony before we go.  :(  Anyone else?

 

As far as the cost factor, it crossed my mind, but my FI and I have made it very clear since we began talking about the wedding that no one should feel obligated to go or bad if they can't go.  When people have regretfully told me that they wouldn't be able to make it, I just get them really pumped up about the AHR!

 

The people that are taking the time and money to go to our wedding are SUPER excited, so I don't feel a whole lot of guilt there! But I do think it's important to take the time to make the week special for them with little extras when they're investing that much time and money into you.  Planning little (non-mandatory) get togethers throughout the week, having a nice welcome bag and favors, spending time with each of your guests throughout the week, seeing them off to the airport if you can...that helps to show that you don't take their generosity for granted.

I feel the same guilt about my grandparents not being able to come. They're all the way down in Argentina and when we started planning I chose my friends and fiance's family vs. my extended family and that kind of makes me feel like an ass. Basically if I did it in Argentina none of our friends would have been able to come, and it would have been difficult/impossible for my fiance's family as well so we chose Mexico. We will be having a reception in Argentina next year :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

FWIW,

 

I think you are being more than generous in your helping of guests and reducing costs. Do not set yourself up to be too deep into the red after this wedding, it is not a good way to start a marriage.

 

Enjoy your dream! It's coming up soon! Mine is next week! Mind you I kept my costs down massively compared to yours. My wedding will be very small and I told my MoH to wear whatever she wants as long as it's not the same colour as my dress haha! Same with my mom and friend, I told them to wear what they want. Definately cuts down on dress cost haha!

 

No one can make you feel less guilt, I wish I could. If you can try to let the negative emotion go as soon as you feel it and try to replace it with a positive image (being on a warm beach with those you love around you) do that. As soon as you feel the bad, replace it with a positive image. There is no constructive quality to feeling bad about this. Channel your energy to positive and it will keep you healthy and happy.

 

Have a great wedding!

 

Shani

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...