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NotSoWitty

Sarah & Peter's Semi-Elopement

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So I decided that I need somewhere to rant and rave about the wedding and planning process. To give you a little background:

 

I met Peter when I was 17 and he was 18 and kind of dating my friend (you know the teenage, odd kiss in the nightclub, maybe a text during the week, nothing serious kind.) My first impressions of him were 'he is tall' swiftly followed by 'I'm away to the bar' The fact that I can remember this meeting is amazing in itself- I have an awful memory and never remember anything, especially if I was drinking!

We're from a rural area in Ireland which is served by around three nightclubs, all terrible, but with a clear strata of 'awful', 'bad' and 'sure where else would you go?' Of course we were going to run into each other again and again. A few months later we saw each other in the awful club and he picked me up and swung me around. I realised that I kind of fancied him. A few months and a lot of flirting later we kissed for the first time, but the first of many times.

Around two years later (during which we often bumped into each other and, if we weren't with other people, had the odd snog) he found out I was single again and started chatting to me on IM. I arranged to meet him and another guy when I was out for Halloween. I bumped into him first, walked him to the door of the pub when he was going to meet his friends... and ended up going with him. A month later we had to have the relationship talk as Christmas was coming and we needed to know whether or not to buy presents! And that's how we became a couple.

Two years later, I had graduated and was working in a blah job and he needed to move to England for his degree. It seemed obvious that I would be going with him and I did. A year later, after taking me round town and getting my hair and nails done, he knelt down in a mucky park and proposed. And that's how we became our own little family and got engaged. 

Four years later, finally graduated and working in a real job Peter suggested that we should go on a real holiday, our first proper, beach, relax and indulge holiday. Yes, I am all for that. Then a couple days later he suggests that maybe we get married when we are over there. Just the two of us. No family, no drama, no huge expense, no unrealistic expectations. Yes, I say. And as the week draws on I'm insisting on it. And that's how we decided to run off to Mexico and get wed. 

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Nope, just the two of us. We know that a lot of our family couldn't afford to come out. I'm the youngest of six, most of whom have big families of their own so it would be super expensive. So instead of feeling like I was putting anyone under any pressure we just aren't inviting them. 

 

One of my sisters is getting married in September so we're also not telling anyone yet. Well, we've told our parents, he's told his sister and I've told my sister who's getting married so we could go wedding dress shopping when I went to visit her earlier this month. We'll be telling the rest of our immediate families later in the year, but none of our friends until after the big day.Although we both told a couple people in our offices because they don't know anyone at home!

 

More to come!  :)

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So, eloping! I have basically been planning my wedding since I was 8. That's when my eldest sister got married and I got hooked on all things wedding. I've always had a pretty clear picture of a big Irish day, in my home chapel, then one of the hotels nearby. I'm the youngest of six and really close to my family so an intimate wedding was never considered possible - we'd have the guts of 50 guests just through brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, none of whom I could possibly leave out. So the idea of none of them being there seems completely crazy sometimes!

However, almost 20 years of planning the perfect wedding day means that realistically no day was going to live up to the fantasy. I would invariably be disappointed and completely stressed out over one minor detail and ruin the whole day for myself, and probably most other people too. Also, my father died almost 11 years ago and his presence would be hugely felt. I figure that if no one is there, the massive gap that he leaves would be felt less keenly. My h2b also has some family issues that would be pretty obvious during all the events. Last and not least, the cost is massively reduced! The whole shebang is probably costing us less than a quarter of the traditional wedding, and we get a honeymoon into the bargain. Added to the fact that we both love to be a bit differentI'm pretty sure this is the best idea ever!

 

So why are we keeping it a secret, it's not exactly an elopement if we're planning it months in advance? Well, it's not. However, my sister is getting married next month and I thought it would be very cr&ppy of me to announce our wedding so close to hers. As I mentioned before, we also love to be different, so it really amuses us to think of our friends' surprise when they see the news on facebook! 

 

We told our parents before we booked, as a mark of respect and also to gauge if there were likely to be some long-lasting fall outs. We also told a sister each, his because he was so excited and mine so I could go dress shopping with her and we could have the fun of wedding planning together. We also told a couple office friends each, again because it's so exciting! 

 

And then the planning begins...

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Hats off to you for being able to keep such a secret! I wonder how close friends will feel reading in on FB? Are you having a party at home to announce the union before posting to social media? If I'm asking too many questions...just ignore me. It's a bad habit I can't shake! 

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It's ok, I'm a questioner too! We'll be telling immediate family a few months before we go, but the first friends and wider family will know of it is through social media. We'll still be in Mexico at that point. We're going to be having a party a month afterwards so we'll have the chance to celebrate with them. I'd say a few of them will be a bit put-out, but we're hoping most of them will just be happy for us once they get over the shock. 

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So when is the big day then? We were just the two of us when we got married. Almost 3 years ago now.

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After going back and forward about holiday dates, we decided to fly on 17 January and get married on 21st January 2015! It's just a couple days after we land, allowing enough time to rest up after the flight, but not too much so that I don't indulge myself too much on the all inclusive and burst out of my dress!

I came here wondering if there was any chance in hell we could pull it all together in 7 months and everyone was so supportive! A wedding planner got in touch and made some gorgeous suggestions, but we decided to make like the little red hen and do it ourselves! Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to let someone else organise it (especially someone who actually knows the area!) but I know we made the right decision. We knew it would be very low-key so there really hasn't been that much to organise. 

 

First came confirming the date. We knew two things would swing it for us - the officiant and the photographer. Both had to speak English, be available, be quality without being too expensive and had to feel right.

We aren't doing the legal bits in Mexico, all the chest x-rays, plus blood tests, plus lots of reports that it's difficult to get the paperwork back home meant that we were definitely doing the legalities here, but considering the wedding in Mexico as the proper wedding. This meant that we had a bit more freedom with our celebrant. We originally liked the look of Noe Camacho, but found him difficult to get in touch with. Then LisaAnthonyPoppy mentioned Petra Rattue. She was really quick at responding, seems to genuinely love what she does and lived in England for a few years, so we're guessing great English! Oh and she was available on our day. Officiant booked! 

 

Choosing a photographer was more difficult. We weren't sure what were typical prices so didn't know what to budget. I contacted a range of photographers that I liked the look of and got a range of prices back! Some were completely out of our league, some weren't available, some didn't answer. A lot of our research made me wish we had the money to do a trash the dress shoot! We found and fell in love with JhanKarlo photography and even better, he offered a fantastic price. Photographer booked!

 

So those are the main biggies taken care of. More to come!


So when is the big day then? We were just the two of us when we got married. Almost 3 years ago now.

How did you find it being just the two of you? How did you manage the logistics, like who zipped up your dress and did you have a 'first look' type moment?

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After going back and forward about holiday dates, we decided to fly on 17 January and get married on 21st January 2015! It's just a couple days after we land, allowing enough time to rest up after the flight, but not too much so that I don't indulge myself too much on the all inclusive and burst out of my dress!

I came here wondering if there was any chance in hell we could pull it all together in 7 months and everyone was so supportive! A wedding planner got in touch and made some gorgeous suggestions, but we decided to make like the little red hen and do it ourselves! Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to let someone else organise it (especially someone who actually knows the area!) but I know we made the right decision. We knew it would be very low-key so there really hasn't been that much to organise. 

 

First came confirming the date. We knew two things would swing it for us - the officiant and the photographer. Both had to speak English, be available, be quality without being too expensive and had to feel right.

We aren't doing the legal bits in Mexico, all the chest x-rays, plus blood tests, plus lots of reports that it's difficult to get the paperwork back home meant that we were definitely doing the legalities here, but considering the wedding in Mexico as the proper wedding. This meant that we had a bit more freedom with our celebrant. We originally liked the look of Noe Camacho, but found him difficult to get in touch with. Then LisaAnthonyPoppy mentioned Petra Rattue. She was really quick at responding, seems to genuinely love what she does and lived in England for a few years, so we're guessing great English! Oh and she was available on our day. Officiant booked! 

 

Choosing a photographer was more difficult. We weren't sure what were typical prices so didn't know what to budget. I contacted a range of photographers that I liked the look of and got a range of prices back! Some were completely out of our league, some weren't available, some didn't answer. A lot of our research made me wish we had the money to do a trash the dress shoot! We found and fell in love with JhanKarlo photography and even better, he offered a fantastic price. Photographer booked!

 

So those are the main biggies taken care of. More to come!

How did you find it being just the two of you? How did you manage the logistics, like who zipped up your dress and did you have a 'first look' type moment?

 

It was fine with just the two of us. We were married in Jamaica, and had originally planned the family thing. It all fell apart for various reasons, then the bridal party cancelled as well. I think the resort took pity on us to be perfectly honest. I rang the WC at the resort when we were trying to sort it all and was almost in tears and asked her if she knew anyone that could come and help me into my dress. My one big worry!! (silly I know) Anyway, she said she would, and then I did end up in tears just from relief! She was so sweet about it all, and they really went above and beyond for us. I cried when I saw the cake they had done. Not that it was anything super fancy or anything. Just that she had taken it upon herself to put a little more into it, and the darned thing was lopsided from the heat!! lol In the end both the WC and her assistant signed our marriage licence because we actually did get married in jamaica so we have 2 strangers' signatures on the marriage certificate!! We didn't do a first look. I know it's a trend but there was no way hubby to be was going to see me in my dress until I actually walked down that path!! That was going to be his "first look" lol  And if we get lucky enough to do our vow renewal next year, it will be the same thing! I want his jaw to drop but I want it to be when I see him at the end of the "aisle". We've been through too much to make it anything less!

 

We had a sweetheart of a local Jamaican photographer that ended up staying and having dinner with us, then we went up to the lobby terrace and had a first dance that everyone clapped for. It really was more than I expected given the circumstances and we loved every minute of it.

 

It will all work out, honest. They're pros at all this stuff and I can guarantee that you aren't the first "twosome" couple that they've had get married so do your best to relax and enjoy it all!!

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@@NotSoWitty

 

Your leaving soon! Correct?

How exciting! There's another bride on here leaving the 17th too!

Congrats and I hope it is perfect!

 

Let us know how Petra did for you on your wedding ceremony!

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