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Lia33

Family Landing The Guilt Trip For Doing A Dw!

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So my mother is making me feel guilty for doing a destination wedding since my grandmother would most likely not attend. I even offered to have her come for the legal ceremony here (which I didn't even want anyone to know about or be there for). However, I explained that I will not be wearing white or exchanging rings in city hall as this will be for the ceremony. I explained that I will do an at home celebration/reception for those unable to attend where we will show the video....but she wants her to see actual ceremony not watch it on tape.

 

Anyone else's family give them a hard time with this? How did you deal with it? I know I can't accommodate everyone but now I can't help but feel guilty.

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I am sorry that your mom is making you feel guilty about that. At the end of the day, you have to do what makes you happy, and not what makes everyone else happy. 

Like you, my grandpa will not be able to attend the my wedding due to his age (he will be 89 when I am to be married..closer to 90 actually) I feel a little guilty about that fact that my grandpa wont be able to make it to the wedding but at the end of the day, all he wants for me is to be happy and do what makes me happy. 

Hopefully with a little time your family will be able to see that you are happy with your decision and that is all that matters. 

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some of our family members are not too pleased with the idea but for the most part everyone is excited to go on a family vacation and celebrate our wedding most people are making a vaction out of it. the wedding is next august and i sent out save the dates in mid july to give everyone plently of time to save and make arrangements. Some people have said it is out of their price range as we are getting married at the beaches resort in Turks & Caicos and it is pricey, we have offered to get day passes for those quest who cant afford to stay at beaches. At first my mom did complain about the price along with a few other people but we explained that this was our choice and we understood if they could not make it. of course my mom gave in and was the first to book. Enjoy your day

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After all is said and done you want to be happy on your day! The fact that you have an AHR planned speaks volumes to how you feel about those that can't make it (for whatever reason, don't let them guilt you). This is the time to be most happy and having bubble guts cause fam bam is stressing you! Always look here for support, especially when you make an unpopular decision! 

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Thanks for the support guys! I'm feeling a little better. I told my mother that I deserve to do something different without her making me feel guilty about it. I also said this isn't all about the wedding, it's about them celebrating our new life as husband and wife. She apologized so that helps. 

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Been there...I actually offered to have a secret wedding too but it was enough. At the end of the day you have to do what is going to make you happy. With today's technology, people can watch the live feed from the resort. I know you might feel guilty now but when yourday comes, everyone will be so happy for you and support you entirely.

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@@projecttwayne2015  You're definitely right. I'm done trying to please everyone! I'll see if there might be someone who can stream it to her....but no one on that side of the family is super tech savvy so let's see. Either way, I would like everyone there to be totally present. I think now that people see I'm not longer doing anything else to accommodate, they are being more pleasant and supportive :-)

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I can relate as I'm having some family dropping out because a DW is just too much for them.  

 

I'm glad to hear that they are being more supportive now.  As many have said, at some point, we have to realize that we can't please everyone 100%.  

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My fiance's dad wasn't very supportive and was actually pretty rude about it.

My fiance didn't talk to him for months, because each time he did it was some dig about it 'what if I don't want to go to Mexico?' 'what if I don't want to take a week off?'  'what if I can't afford it?'

Finally in the end they RSVP'd and paid their deposit. Not sure if all his other family that are going gave him a smack.

 

Do what's best for you.  Your  grandparents will understand!!!

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My sister got married in Mexico last year and the aunts/uncles literally were like "Well, she didn't ask US where we wanted her to get married!" and complained about safety and the cost. As if she had some obligation to make her wedding a family reunion with decisions by committee. We live in Chicago (and they don't) so they would have had to fly here and pay $300+ per night for hotel but taxis/food/drinks anyway! They didn't end up coming and most of them didn't even bother to RSVP to tell her for sure that they weren't coming.  And only 1 even sent a card/gift.

 

For my wedding in Jamaica - I'm preventing that headache by not inviting them! Just not even going to deal with it :wacko:

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