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kirab22

Bridal Shower Help

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I started a new job in Jan. My new boss and coworker, both females, are great. They obviously are not invited to my destination wedding. Do I invite them to my shower? I know it's bad etiquette to invite a guest to the shower who isn't invited to the wedding, but I'd hate to hurt their feelings by not including them at the shower.

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It's up to your hostess to do the inviting- and so it's easily explained if she doesn't invite them since your hostess(es) wouldn't know them.

 

If you were having an AHR and they were invited to that, then maybe- but if they aren't invited to the wedding I don't think it's proper to invite to a shower. How would they even know? Are there other people at work who are invited??

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I agree with @kmk2016  It is up to the person hosting your shower to do the inviting. Unless they have specifically asked about attending, or hinted at it, I don't think it's proper if they aren't invited to your wedding. I can't see that their feelings would be hurt this soon after starting the job.

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Well my hostess is inviting them, but I am providing a guest list to my hostess as she does not know anyone. They would know about my shower since we all talk about our weekends and we are pretty involved in keeping up with each others lives. I just would hate for me to talk about the shower that they were not invited to and cause hurt feelings.

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Just don't talked about it! I just think with showers people often feel obligated to buy gifts and it's poor taste to have people there who are not invited to the wedding (IMO)

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Do you spend time with these women outside of work?

 

I agree - I wouldn't personally invite them either. I take polite interest at things people talk about at work, but id never get offended if I wasn't invited. I actually find showers pretty boring and would prob be grateful I wouldn't have to go and spend money on a gift.

 

I prob just wouldn't talk about it, or if I did, just briefly in passing

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In my opinion etiquette is different when it comes to DW. I would ask myself this question: If I were getting married locally would I invite them and would they attend? If you feel close to them then why not invite them to the shower? I wouldn't be insulted if I wasn't going to a co-worker/friend`s DW and was invited to her shower, I'd go without even questioning it.

Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you. 

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I agree with @@Lilian84  

I wasn't going to have a bridal shower because I felt that it was in poor taste to invite people I didn't invite to my wedding, but what I have found is that more people would be OFFENDED if I didn't invite them.

 

So I plan to do it - and honestly I don't really want gifts anyways - so may just have a random party with a random name I select at a random time LOL!

 

If you think you would have invited them to the wedding and/or reception should it have been in your town, then I would invite them.

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I agree with @@Lilian84  

I wasn't going to have a bridal shower because I felt that it was in poor taste to invite people I didn't invite to my wedding, but what I have found is that more people would be OFFENDED if I didn't invite them.

 

So I plan to do it - and honestly I don't really want gifts anyways - so may just have a random party with a random name I select at a random time LOL!

 

If you think you would have invited them to the wedding and/or reception should it have been in your town, then I would invite them.

 

Absolutely! I have been working at the same place for 13 years now and love pretty much all of the 20ish girls I work with, even the ones I don't like so much... I will miss. Before I get married, and once my fiance visa goes through I will be moving to the US and changing my life around, no joke the hardest part is leaving my job. But one thing is for sure I will have a bridal shower and all of them will be there even if I do not invite them to my wedding. Most people understand and all they want is to celebrate with you. 

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