Seeking some advice & hope some of you can help or share your experiences.
In 2013 my fiancé and I got engaged in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. A few months after getting engaged, we had planned to get married there since that’s where we got engaged & we love it there. Our families weren’t overly ecstatic about the choice of Mexico due to all the negative they hear about it… While back then they had said a few negative things here & there, many were originally still excited to go to experience an all inclusive & see the beautiful beaches.
However, now that we’re back from viewing resorts & making our final decisions, some of our family members are SO negative about us having our wedding there. The one being the most negative is my sister who says things would be different if it was just her & her husband, but now she has a family(I can understand this to an extent). One of her children will be 7 months old at the time of the wedding. I tell her they want to keep it safe for the tourists as that’s how they make the majority of their money & she comes back with things she reads about how unsafe it is in Playa Del Carmen, & that people have been killed in the hotel elevator, & how a guy accidently crossed over the border not realizing it and is now spending his life in jail. She’s scared someone may sneak drugs in their luggage & they will end up responsible & in jail as she’s heard of that happening too. She’s also scaring me as my parents haven’t been in the most exceptional health over the past years & is freaking me out in case something happens to them while over there. Big guilt trip & I would hate myself forever if something were to happen since all the blame would be on me. She’s also complaining about how expensive it will be for everyone & saying don’t I feel bad wanting people to pay that much money in order to come.. However she got married on an island 10 hours away which was even more expensive & had nothing included. She gave us 3 months notice & no one complained, but that was “okay” because it was in the US.(Hawaii) The flight to Mexico is less than 3 hours away. Right now we’re getting quotes back of $1,000-$1,500 per person for 4-7 days, flight included & all inclusive hotel stay. Kids are cheaper. She also said she's not sure if she can even get a passport for my niece(due to her stepdad) & that if she can't get one for her, then none of them are coming as she's not leaving her daughter behind. (which I can understand)
It seems lately very few people have been positive about our having our wedding in Mexico. Our friends have been the most positive. Both our families are really pushing for Vegas or they say anywhere in the US for that matter. They keep saying why don’t we get married in the US & honeymoon in Mexico. Well we’re wanting our ceremony on the beach. We were fixing to send our save the dates out soon and/or invites, as it’s only 8 months away from when we want to get married & people need to save up and ask for time off work if needed. We even did “engagement” pictures in Mexico for our Save the dates & invites.
After all this negative feedback, I’m in such a bad place & stressing like crazy. Mexico is really what we want & envisioned. I have spent hundreds of hours looking into having our wedding there & getting ideas. We might go to Vegas next month to look at our options & make our family happy. And while fiancé & I grew up visiting there throughout our whole lives, it seems all the venues/options are either 1.)super cheesy, 2.)very expensive, or 3.) not what we want. We were also planning to pay for the actual wedding in Mexico ourselves. My mom keeps pushing for Vegas & saying she will pay all of it if we have it there & that it will be cheaper for them anyway. We don’t want to feel like we owe someone something & feel like it’ll be a big waste if we’re not even happy in the end. Another concern we have with Vegas is that if us or our guests gamble & lose, we know that can result in a bad wedding & sour vacation... been there, done that. Florida or California were another option, but seems very expensive & I’m not sure which beaches even compare to Playa Del Carmen. I would hate to show up and be disappointed w/our choice. All I know is time is ticking away & having our wedding in the US will definitely be more money.. Mexico is affordable for us & we truly felt everyone would have a good time & wanted them to experience an all inclusive at least once in their life. I also looked into many other Caribbean destinations, but they were more expensive for our guests and/or also portrayed as unsafe.
I *think* everything will be fine once our families get to Mexico & it will free them of so many negative thoughts, however in the back of my mind I have this huge burden on top of me due to the guilt and sadness I will feel if something bad does happen to someone there after all this. I’ve even been having bad dreams because of it. Feel like having a breakdown . Almost cancelled wedding & would get married next year instead maybe, but I really wanted it soon as it will be our 10 year anniversary in a little less than a year. Have almost gave in to getting married in Vegas or in town just to please everyone else, even though I doubt we would be happy. The thought of eloping has crossed our minds many times & we would be able to do it somewhere extremely beautiful, however one of the most important things is my dad walking me down the aisle and I don’t want to miss out on that, especially as we almost lost him a few years ago(though he is in *much* better health now & recovered after his surgery a few years back).. I also feel if we elope, we might regret not having our family at our wedding, but who even knows if they will all go to our wedding in Mexico to begin with. I know our parent’s will come even though not thrilled, since I know they wouldn’t want to miss it, but not sure about our siblings, nieces, & nephews. We do a lot for our families & I don’t feel we’re asking very much. What should I do? I’m really freaking out due to the time left before the wedding & feel like the longer we wait to send out invites, the less people that will be able to go due to not having the money saved in time or not being able to get off work. Even worse, I haven’t started looking for a dress since we’re not 100% decided on where we’re going to have the wedding. (Vegas & the beach are two totally different destinations) A wedding shop told me some dresses can even take up to 12 months to get in.
Do we go with what we want & envision, but risk not having some of the people we love there.. Or do we go with what everyone else wants in order to make everyone comfortable & happy? I feel damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Almost considered having two ceremonies, but I don’t know how dumb this would be & photos are very important to my fiancé & I, which would cost a fortune to have done in two places. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated it. Did anyone go through this same thing & regret any of their decisions? I would love to hear some feedback. Thank you to all those that have read this & taking the time out to help!