Anyone Else Overwhelmed With Cost?

[mariak]

What is the rule for paying for the bridemaid's dresses? Also I read that we are suppose to pay for the MOH's trip. Is this true? My sister is my MOH and I dont think that she expects that.

[beckys98]

I've been a bridesmaid several times and always paid for my dress! Obviously it is really nice if you *can* help...especially if you pick a more expensive dress, but I wouldn't expect it. Also, I was the MOH for my sister's destination wedding last year and she did surprise me with a room upgrade! I definitely did not expect it but I did spend a TON of money for her shower and bachelorette party so it was a very nice gesture. My fiancé also put all the music together for their reception so it was a thank you to him as well.

 

So, I think no rules or expectations! 

 

What is the rule for paying for the bridemaid's dresses? Also I read that we are suppose to pay for the MOH's trip. Is this true? My sister is my MOH and I dont think that she expects that.

[calgarybride2015]

Of the people I asked, all paid for their dresses. I was a BM last year and I did get mine paid for by the bride's mom!! They have 3 girls who all married in the same year and were all apart of each others wedding and it was their gift to their girls to purchase our stuff. I was very prepared to pay and actually asked a couple times when I could. Then I found this out after. I sent a nice thank you.

 

I also toyed with the idea of paying for BM and MOH trips and everyone I spoke to about it thought I was off my rocker lol in the end we just couldn't pull off the cost in the short engagement period. Thankfully we hadn't offered it out so it was a none issue

 

I think people appreciate the gesture but no one expects it.

 

It's a personal preference and up to each couple!! I felt bad our dresses were $160 after searching day and night for a cheaper option. So I helped them pay a little bit of the dress and one BM just gave me the entire purchase price as she said she was totally ok with the price.

 

 

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Edited September 7, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[Lia33]

@@mariak I agree, the gesture is appreciated but not expected. I felt bad about the additional cost for dresses for them so I helped with that but there's no way I would be able to pay for my MOH's trip. A couple of my bridesmaids didn't even want me to cover their dress! Although I'm sure they were just being polite as they didn't put up much of a fight lol 

[mariak]

@@mariak I agree, the gesture is appreciated but not expected. I felt bad about the additional cost for dresses for them so I helped with that but there's no way I would be able to pay for my MOH's trip. A couple of my bridesmaids didn't even want me to cover their dress! Although I'm sure they were just being polite as they didn't put up much of a fight lol

 

 

So happy that you have experience to share!! What are your thoughts on evite invitations vs. paper invites? My travel agent is going to send out emails to everyone AND create us a website with all the hotel and our info. Are paper invites also required? I am not trying to be cheap but the paper invites seem redundant. I was thinking of just sending out a handful of paper invites for our parents and older friends who might not be as comfortable with the internet. Thoughts??

[Lia33]

@@mariak Depends on your guests! Paper invites are definitely the way to go for older relatives or anyone not too into the internet. For us, we went the paper route since it was easier for us to have one method of doing things instead of multiple ways. I created our wedding website with all info then our TA created a page that has all booking info. I put that link directly on our wedding website. 

 

Our save the dates had our website on them and we made them magnetic so they stay on people fridges - hard to forget about a date or needing to book if you have to look at it everyday! People loved them!

 

We are doing paper invites - but you're right...it does seem a little redundant! Especially since many people will have already booked. Our reasoning for doing this is partly for the formality of it. But also to give a better count of who will be there. There are some people booking on their own and not through our TA so this will help us see a more finalized count of who is actually coming. We will also be sending them with RSVPs aligned with that final payment deadline for our TA  (or close to it)  so this will also be used a reminder to people to make their final payments. 

 

Again, do what works for you! Many people have different ways of doing this. Hope that helps!

[MrsCtoB]

I agree... I didn't think I needed paper invites but I am glad I did. We did save the dates and included our website link which I spent a ton of time on making sure it was updated with everything one would need. We had the first wave of guests who understood and deposited and all was great. However, and not to be fresh, some people don't understand save the dates I think. We had a second wave of interest recently with people asking us and our families how to book, how much, where to go etc. and when we refer them to the save the date its like "there was a website on it?" "I didn't know we needed to go on it?" etc. I think the invitation reiterated everything and reminded those who maybe were interested but hadn't realized how quickly it is approaching.

[mariak]

Good point!! I think we will go with the paper invite. Thank you for all the help

[TinkerSofi]

I agree... I didn't think I needed paper invites but I am glad I did. We did save the dates and included our website link which I spent a ton of time on making sure it was updated with everything one would need. We had the first wave of guests who understood and deposited and all was great. However, and not to be fresh, some people don't understand save the dates I think. We had a second wave of interest recently with people asking us and our families how to book, how much, where to go etc. and when we refer them to the save the date its like "there was a website on it?" "I didn't know we needed to go on it?" etc. I think the invitation reiterated everything and reminded those who maybe were interested but hadn't realized how quickly it is approaching.

we had the exact same issue! some people never saw the booking link on our save the dates. Things seemed to be a bit clearer when we sent our paper invites. However, even on our website, I made sure to write everything out nicely on the welcome page to direct people where to go. Unfortunately they still didn't read that so I ended up making things in point form haha. Then it finally worked . It's nice to have a website with all the nice wording and things like that but then I realized people just want to go in, check what they have to do and do it. My advice is, the shorter and more to the point it is, the less confusing and less questions you will get from your guests.