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NJBride2014

Fiance's Father Not Coming To Our Wedding!

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Well said @Mandiesue  Sometimes parents are what they are, and as I said, older people can be very set in their ways. Mental illness may have absolutely nothing in the world whatsoever to do with it. I wish I had known what I know now 30 years ago. We want everyone to be totally supportive and completely happy for us on what is definitely one of the biggest steps you'll ever take in your life. But it just doesn't happen. Yes - it's painful. My in laws decided they didn't want to go to Jamaica with us for our wedding when everyone else cancelled and I was totally ticked off. They were worried about the cost when the group rate was cancelled, but we ended up paying $300 less each with our booking so to me, no excuses. But it is what it is ladies. You can't change it. Our natural need to find reasons and fix things isn't always satisfied. Sometimes there is no reason and no fix. You do what you can and move on.

 

In the end, it's the two of you that count, and marrying each other in a wonderful tropical place, not matter who is there and who isn't.

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People suck end of story....lol

 

My brother messaged me today and said him and his wife are unsure if they can go. Her sister found out she was pregnant and that's who was watching my nephews. They don't feel right about bringing their kids to the resort which is understandable but still it is disappointing.

 

I have been telling myself this morning since I found out "It is what it is."

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully as the date comes closer, he will change his mind. If not, definitely try to focus on all of the people coming and don't let it ruin your trip

 

@@kcole123 - Why don't they feel right about bringing their kids to the resort??

Edited by tygrrlily

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Well my nephew has autism and is diabetic. He is already after having a seizure too before for unknown reasons, so she just doesn't feel right about taking him out of his comfort zone to bring him to a resort to be overwhelmed by people. Which I can understand but not saying it's not disappointing either.

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@@kcole123 - Okay that's definitely understandable. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry! 

 

Hopefully it will all work out, Kristy! 

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Destination weddings I think are one of the hardest things to both arrange, and to put on people. I know it's hard for people sometimes to think about the money factor and other obligations. I don't regret getting married in Jamaica at all. We loved every second of it, and I would do it over again the same way if I had to, but when everyone that we invited to the wedding ended up showing up for our AHR, I sort of questioned whether we maybe should have just done everything at home in the first place. The thing is, when our plans all went to heck, we did start looking at doing it all at home, just to please everyone else. But the costs were horrendous! It looked like it was going to be something really easy and small, but it escalated very, very quickly and my hubs said absolutely not! It felt like the fact that we were having an AHR gave people that were unsure the final excuse to say no to Jamaica. In the end, like I keep saying it was hubby and I in front of the blue water in a gazebo on a beach in Jamaica. What more could you ask for? And our AHR ended up being a whole lot cheaper because we were able to do it in a different way than a wedding and reception and save money. We had a great time, people still talk about it, and we still did get to celebrate with family and friends. I'm not sure yet how our vow renewal will work out. Because of our circumstances over the last year and a half, everyone knows the reason for the vow renewal and a few have said oh yes absolutely. I'm not holding my breath. These are people that my husband called to the hospital because it wasn't guaranteed that I was going to make it through. I believe their intentions are good but after what happened with our wedding, I just don't have enough faith that it matters to other people the way it matters to us. It's the reality of life sometimes. I want to celebrate the fact that I can still wake up beside my husband every day and right now that's all that's important. Will we have people to celebrate with us? I don't know for sure. I hope so but we'll just have to wait and see.

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That's ok girl. It will all work out in the end I am sure. I have 30 guests with deposits, including my brother. I honestly know from what I seen on this website is to expect people to not be able to go either for last minute reasons. So even though 30 have deposits it still doesn't mean that 30 of them will go. I guess I will have to get favors and things based on who has booked already.  Any last minute stuff that happens I will just have to deal with it then. I guess when you are planning a wedding, the whole planning process does not go perfect. It's the wedding that will be perfect. Everything else will just have to be dealt with as it comes.

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I'm so sorry for you, I hope you all can work this out.

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