The Complaints!

[BusyBee280]

Totally!!!

The way I see it, I'm kinda hoping "certain" people complain enough about this being selfish or "expensive" just so they are the ones to turn my invitation down vs me not inviting them and me coming off like the bad guy

 

We are looking more into hosting a nice dinner/party here for our friends that cant afford to go, or don't like the idea.

 

Were thinking of making a video during our stay to watch at the party when we return.

 

So when someone complains about it- say hey we will be doing a nice dinner and watching a video of the trip, and our wedding video, so its not like you will miss everything.

 

Its going to cost us even more than we wanted to spend, but we thought it would be nice for people who REALLY can't make it due to work/money related issues, and it's an nice thing to offer people who complain about it all the time!

 

That's a perfect way of thinking about it. Most of my family goes on individual family vaca yearly so the important ones won't have a problem with it...the rest can just come to a BBQ we can have when we get back lol

 This is what got us to do a destination wedding to begin with!! lol his entire family always goes on vacation this time of year, and my family needs it! any good friends is pretty much an added bonus. Still trying to think of a good "AHR idea though.

 

 

[Nybride525]

Well depending on when your wedding is....we will be doing may so that it's prime BBQ weather which is cheap and a casual good time that can be dressed up a bit if needed. I don't see the point of renting a hall for a second party when we will be partying with family for several days while at the destination wedding. I would prob think it's tacky however we have gone to friends weddings where the actual reception was in a small yard with regular BBQ food and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves anyway

[jayejayelynn]

Its your day to be selfish I feel like. I am trying to stay open and accommodate everyone and so far no issues but at the end of the day you only have to please yourself.

[nikkicraig10]

I think no matter what the price, or destination, people are going to complain. I went to 2 destination weddings in one year, one was Punta Cana for $1850 and the other Mexico for $1290, both 5 star resorts. Everyone is going to complain about the money, even I did. It's easy to say well if it's too much for some people they just won't come, but some people get caught in the "this is way too expensive, but I don't want to miss out, so I guess I'll go and be bitter about it until we go". After all the complaints I heard from people, and felt, I thought I would neeeeeeeeever do a destination wedding, for that reason.

 

Here's the kicker though - as soon as that plane touches down at your destination, and you are with all of your friends, nobody gives a crap about how much they paid, or any other thing they complained about. Everyone has an unreal time, makes life long memories and leaves with an uncontrollable desire to do it all over again. THIS is what I chose to focus on. To come to terms that people are going to complain behind my back for 14 months, and then all have the most fantastic time, and be grateful for the experience afterwards.

 

In terms of pricing, you have to look at it like this (or at least in my opinion) - you are choosing a vacation for all of your guests. On one hand you want it to be affordable and please them, but on the other hand, you have to pick a resort that's nice enough and not going to leave people disappointed. I'd rather pay $1600 for an amazing resort, then feel like I got a scoopin' deal at $1200, and then be unsatisfied with the rooms/food/beach etc. I ended up opting for a resort that I'd already been too, and chose to automatically upgrade everyone to deluxe suites (for an additional $60 per person). That way when they all walk into their 5* room with the giant jetted whirlpool and barn door windows looking into the bedroom... they will be wowed, and impressed.

 

At the end of the day it's all about you guys! Another point to add, is because we're doing a destination wedding, we are really skimping on the other formalities like engagement party, bridal shower, stag, stagette etc. Trying to keep costs down for everyone. We're going to a local wedding in October, where the stag is costing my FI $700 and the stagette is costing me $550..sooooooooo add another $1000 and you have a week in Mexico!!

[BusyBee280]

I think that is probably true-

 

It sucks to hear that you are being selfish when you are simply trying to plan something fun for everyone though!

 

My FI says "yeah yea, you can complain about it when we get to Mexico"

[smileitseb]

I haven't personally heard complaints yet (to my face at least) lol but I'm sure they are coming. My fiancé and I are doing it OUR way and the complainers can stay home. The show WILL go on either way! And the most important people in our life will not miss it:)

[kirab22]

We just went in to it realizing some people we really want to be there won't be able to afford it. My maid of honor backed out on me 6 months before my wedding due to finances. Our biggest criticism is we will not be doing an AHR. We've had some nasty comments, including us being selfish.

[JaxBchKay]

We have had a few people complain but most people are really excited. We know not everyone we want will be able to come but this was the best way for us to keep the guest list small and still be able to have a nice wedding and honeymoon. If we had our wedding at home we would be obligated to invite way too many people and then we wouldn't be able to have a honeymoon. Maybe I'm a bit selfish but I think this is the one event we are allowed to be.

[marinah84]

I got told I was being selfish for having a dw...and told by same person I was selfish for thinking about also having an AHR! We are not asking for nor encouraging gifts...so not sure why it's selfish if we want to throw a party for those who couldn't make it?

[MrsRoy]

I got told I was being selfish for having a dw...and told by same person I was selfish for thinking about also having an AHR! We are not asking for nor encouraging gifts...so not sure why it's selfish if we want to throw a party for those who couldn't make it?

I don't get how it's selfish ?? I feel like saying:

 

It's MY wedding....

If it's my dream to be married on the beach then that's where I'll be married... Thanks for your support negative friend lol