Are You Changing Your Last Name, Hyphenating, Or Keeping Your Name

[TinkerSofi]

Hi everyone! It's my first post but the topic is close to my heart.

 

Initially I asked if he would mind if I hyphenated my name, but the more I thought about things (he was cool with anything, said he didn't care) the more it bothered me.

 

Historically women took the man's name because you were being placed under his protection financially etc. But our relationship including even housework is 50/50. I don't need his financial aid or symbolic protection that way. We both have great jobs etc and even if one of us lost it. The other would carry the slack. In fact, my job is much more secure than his.

 

Secondly, my mother and father gave me my name. I have been Shani Cochrane all my life, it is who I am. Also, the family name and bloodline die with me (not having children) so there is no future confusion regarding children. I would feel weird discarding the name that my parents gave me. Gods, not to mention all the crappy paperwork I would have to do. I am in the military so not only the regular paperwork change but all of my work related info too. Why should I have to do this?

 

I thank my lucky stars that I have such a wonderful man that respects this and trusts in our relationship to not have an issue with my wishes here.

 

That being said, I do respect and understand why some people are bound to the tradition.

We're totally on the same page! I love the name my parents gave me. I am so lucky my fiance doesn't get offended or think any less of my love for him for wanting to keep my name. I also don't want to deal with all the hassle, paperwork and then explaining to everyone who knows me that I've changed my last name. In terms of kids, we're latin and we have two last names from the time we're born. They will probably have his last name and my first last name (Just as I have my dad's and my mom's)

 

This is a topic that I'm so passionate about too because I'm kind of a feminist. I believe that if we have the same rights and responsibilities as men, it should be my personal choice to do with my name as I please. I don't think I could ever marry a man who tried to force me to take his last name, it's a non-negotiable for me ahaha and I had my mind made up way before I met my fiance. 

[atennille]

I am going to take my future husband last name, BUT I am keeping mine as well.

[helenk]

My dad for some reason put his first name as my middle name on my social security card but it's actually misspelled anyway. Can I change my middle name to my last name and then make my last name my fiancées last name? This way I keep my last name in some form. Anyone know if this is an option? I would totally do that. Since I don't really consider my dads as my middle name, lol.

@@TinkerSofi how do you get that countdown on the bottom of your posts?

[MissJen3]

Although I do not remember my FI and I having this conversation, I feel like it is assumed that I will take his last name. But I too like my last name. Hmmm. Might be time to have this talk. 

[TinkerSofi]

My dad for some reason put his first name as my middle name on my social security card but it's actually misspelled anyway. Can I change my middle name to my last name and then make my last name my fiancées last name? This way I keep my last name in some form. Anyone know if this is an option? I would totally do that. Since I don't really consider my dads as my middle name, lol.

@@TinkerSofi how do you get that countdown on the bottom of your posts?

go to tickerfactory.com you can make it and then under settings for this website where it says signature paste the link for the ticker. It will post it automatically on your posts. 

I'm sure you can change your name to anything you want. You could also just drop the middle name and have two last names instead. Although if you don't want to use your maiden name anymore but still have it, the middle name option might be better. 

[Tatimrivera]

I am changing my last name. I have no relationship with my father and feel it's a sign of respect to take my husbands last name (plus it's our daughters name as well).

[MJTK]

tatimrivera. .couldn't of said it better...im totally changing my last name for the exact same reasons..

[Lilian84]

In the province of Quebec we are not allowed to change our last name after marriage... Yay for Quebec and it's crazy useless laws!   It's been this way for a long time and I somehow forgot that everywhere else it is possible and even normal to do so. I will definitely be taking his last name. We will be a family, I am proud to become his wife, and want to have the same name my kids will have. 

 

However I also feel as though my name is part of who I am. Could be because I'm so used to woman using their maiden name. Anyway we kind of touched the subject right after we got engaged while talking with a friend and he seemed surprised I wanted both names.... further discussion is required lol. But I will not be giving my name to our kids for their own sake, it's French and Americans will butcher it for sure! lol

[calgarybride2015]

Sure am, can't wait!!!   (I have never really loved my last name and have always been eager to change it)

Remember when we were younger and we would date a boy and practice our signatures...  ok I am not the only one, I know it LOL!!!

 

I guess now I can practice for real!

I am a nurse and sign my name a lot, will need a long and short one!

Edited July 30, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[VegasBride121314]

My legal name belongs to my XH! It is a power name that has served me well for the last 30 years HOWEVER; I don't think my betrothed is aware of that. It just shows you how much attention men pay to things of importunate!!! So, I have already had to order business cards with my new name and have decided to use my first, middle, maiden and new name. My signature will be first name, middle and maiden initials, and new last name! WHEW!!!