Are You Changing Your Last Name, Hyphenating, Or Keeping Your Name

[mysticjade]

@@mysticjade my fiance wasn't thrilled either but i think he realized he can't force me to change it, haha!

My FH totally pulled out the “but our children will be confused” argument and I laughed at him. Children get the hang of stuff like this easily, it’s the adults who will get confused.

[malyna]

@@mysticjade which last name will your children have

[mysticjade]

@@mysticjade which last name will your children have

They'll have his last name for the sake of simplicity but I'd like any kids to have my last name as their middle name as well.

 

(In my fantasy world, the girls would have my last name and any boys would have his last name, but FH would never agree to such a thing!)

[malyna]

@@mysticjade I want to do that too, I think. I'm hoping my husband will go for it.

 

I studied abroad in Denmark and the Danes pass the mother's name as the middle and the father's name as the last.

[helenk]

Although we are having a non traditional destination wedding - I do want some traditions in our wedding/marriage. I never questioned what I would do when we got married (we've been together 10+ years) - I always knew I would take his last name. Now that it is becoming reality and the wedding is next year - I have been thinking about losing my last name. I am 100% Greek, and when people hear my last name they always ask what my ethnicity is. So I will be losing that. But honestly, even if i change my name - people will still know my ethnicity and our children will know about my culture and my fiancees. Hyphenating my name would just be too long and I love my last name because it's different and clearly Greek, but it was never really a question in my mind - I just always had it in my head that when I got married my last name would change. My fiancee wants me to take his name and feels strongly about it - thankfully I already wanted to, otherwise it probably would have been an issue, lol!

[TinkerSofi]

I'm not changing mine because I love my last name (I have two already, my mom's and dad's) and it's a way of honoring my parents. My fiancé has always been good with that and he told me to do what I want. I had my mind made up before I met him.

 

 

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[ASAtobe]

My fiance is very very determined that I am taking his last name. I am mixed with native american and german so I have very strong ties to both of my cultures. I don't think changing my last name will distance me from my culture at all. I will teach my children about it and I do have a brother so they will know from spending time with him and his wife and children. However I do love the way my name sounds just because its been with me for 26 years, I was thinking of just having two middle names now instead of just one because I love my middle name to much to replace it!

[tarynh86]

I'm going to take my husband's last name for sure

[Wrathwitch]

Hi everyone! It's my first post but the topic is close to my heart.

 

Initially I asked if he would mind if I hyphenated my name, but the more I thought about things (he was cool with anything, said he didn't care) the more it bothered me.

 

Historically women took the man's name because you were being placed under his protection financially etc. But our relationship including even housework is 50/50. I don't need his financial aid or symbolic protection that way. We both have great jobs etc and even if one of us lost it. The other would carry the slack. In fact, my job is much more secure than his.

 

Secondly, my mother and father gave me my name. I have been Shani Cochrane all my life, it is who I am. Also, the family name and bloodline die with me (not having children) so there is no future confusion regarding children. I would feel weird discarding the name that my parents gave me. Gods, not to mention all the crappy paperwork I would have to do. I am in the military so not only the regular paperwork change but all of my work related info too. Why should I have to do this?

 

I thank my lucky stars that I have such a wonderful man that respects this and trusts in our relationship to not have an issue with my wishes here.

 

That being said, I do respect and understand why some people are bound to the tradition.

[SuchALady777]

Never gave thought to it. But my name is already hyphenated. ..I couldn't possibly add another name. We already have a son. He has both of our names...NOW I WONDER IF I CHANGE MY NAME WILLIAMS I HAVE TO CHANGE MY SONS??