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#1 starchild



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    Posted 29 October 2007 - 04:34 AM

    I thought this was funny:

    A Dictionary for Mother:

    AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

    BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

    DEFENSE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

    DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins.

    DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

    FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

    FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

    FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

    GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

    HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

    IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

    INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

    LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

    PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

    PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms.

    PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

    SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

    STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

    STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

    TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

    TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

    TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

    VERBAL: Able to whine in words

    WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

    WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.

    WHOOPS : An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

    #2 MsShelley


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      Posted 29 October 2007 - 06:32 AM

      too funny...

      #3 Christine

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      Posted 29 October 2007 - 08:26 AM

      very cute Jamy
      Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

      #4 Carolena7

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        Posted 29 October 2007 - 11:02 PM

        those are cute

        #5 Saraha

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          Posted 29 October 2007 - 11:25 PM

          so cute... good thing I am a ways away from popping out one of those things :o)

          #6 smille50

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            Posted 19 December 2010 - 06:43 PM

            Very funny!  Thanks for sharing!

            #7 starchild



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              Posted 19 December 2010 - 06:58 PM

              Thanks for bumping this!  Now that I am a mother this is even better lol

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