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Why do I get so annoyed??!! It's LONG...


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#1 michelle08

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    Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:14 PM

    Okay so my FMIL has very different taste than me and she is very opinionated. Everything she pictures for our wedding, I have the complete opposite! I am not letting her influence any of my decisions, but it just annoys me so much when she says things and I don't know why!

    Last night FI wanted me to show his mom some pics of the wedding location ect and one of the pics had these two pillars in the back of the chairs for the ceremony with flower displays on them. I already told her that we were having no flowers because they are expensive. All we are doing is my bouquet for like $50 and my MOH for $25!!! No flower center pieces, nothing!!!

    So she says and you guys are going to have those nice flower displays too right? I said, NO!! We are having no flowers...it's slashed from the budget! She says well why is budget getting slashed so much and I told her that it's because we don't have alot of money and to be honest, I don't like flowers that much and those were never really in the budget. She says Oh, I really like flowers, but thats okay if you guys don't want to have them! I said, I just don't see the need on spending money on flowers that will die and I can't take home with me, especially when the location is absolutely breathtaking!!!

    Then the other issue comes up about money. She told FI quite a few months back that she would give him $5,000 for the wedding. As generous as this is, I didn't really know where it was coming from because she doesn't have alot of extra money (that we know of). Plus, she wouldn't pin point when she would give it to us. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but when I am figuring out a budget, I need to know all the resources available or else I need to not calculate it in. So that is what I have decided to do..base the budget on just our funds and then if parents want to kick in, then we pay ourselves back!

    So lately when FI will ask about it, she won't even talk an actual number anymore and all she says is so when do you need to start paying for things?? What does that matter? I want to know if you are giving us anything or not. All she had to do is say I am going to give you x amount of $$$ and so when do you need to start paying things because I don't quite have it yet. Then I tell her and she says okay then I will give it to you by x date. Then I would know and be fine, but she just doesn't want to commit but yet she wants to have all these flowers??

    Sorry to vent...I am not necessarily looking for answers...but It just feels good to type it out and get it off my chest!!!!

    She is a good person and I love her and would appreciate anything she gives us even if it's $5 but I just need her to stop shying around the situation and make a decision already! UGH

    #2 Debs

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      Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:31 PM

      I think it's wise not to count on that money. Like you said, if she comes up with it, then it's a bonus.

      #3 Spazz

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        Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:38 PM

        Sorry you're having such a tough time. I'm in the complete opposite situation, where my FMIL seems to not even realize we're getting married...lol! I agree that you shouldn't count on the money, just use your original budget and then if she gives you some money, use it towards any extras you may want.

        #4 michelle08

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          Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:43 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Lizz
          Sorry you're having such a tough time. I'm in the complete opposite situation, where my FMIL seems to not even realize we're getting married...lol! I agree that you shouldn't count on the money, just use your original budget and then if she gives you some money, use it towards any extras you may want.
          Thanks!!! What's funny is, my MOM is the same as your FMIL!!! My mom has alot going on right now in her life...but she, like me and my sister are not really "wedding" people! My mom is just easy going, go with the flow and sometimes I wish she would have more of an opinion!!!

          I guess I can't have everything I want! :)

          #5 Spazz

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            Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:46 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by michelle08
            Thanks!!! What's funny is, my MOM is the same as your FMIL!!! My mom has alot going on right now in her life...but she, like me and my sister are not really "wedding" people! My mom is just easy going, go with the flow and sometimes I wish she would have more of an opinion!!!

            I guess I can't have everything I want! :)

            My mom is sorta into it, but not crazy like I thought she might be. My FMIL seriously is clueless about it all, which is good when I hear stories like yours and others. I guess she's just not a "wedding" person, but sometimes I wish she acted like she cared. When Mike got my e-ring shipped to her house, she said it was nice, but didn't see the point of engagement rings?!? Oh-kay!

            #6 michelle08

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              Posted 27 October 2007 - 03:52 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Lizz
              My mom is sorta into it, but not crazy like I thought she might be. My FMIL seriously is clueless about it all, which is good when I hear stories like yours and others. I guess she's just not a "wedding" person, but sometimes I wish she acted like she cared. When Mike got my e-ring shipped to her house, she said it was nice, but didn't see the point of engagement rings?!? Oh-kay!
              Okay yeah...that is a little odd about not seeing the point of engagement rings! Does she think there shouldn't be a ring at all or just you get the first one on the wedding day?

              #7 Spazz

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                Posted 27 October 2007 - 04:13 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by michelle08
                Okay yeah...that is a little odd about not seeing the point of engagement rings! Does she think there shouldn't be a ring at all or just you get the first one on the wedding day?
                She's what I like to call "cheap"...haha! So, I guess she doesn't like the idea of buying an expensive ring.

                #8 michelle08

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                  Posted 27 October 2007 - 04:52 PM

                  Oh okay!! I am cheap...but not that cheap! I like my ring!

                  #9 rodent

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                    Posted 27 October 2007 - 05:15 PM

                    I feel the same way about flowers. I don't like spending money on things I can't keep. I'll have my bouquet that comes with the wedding package & the flower for mike. That's it. Flower centerpieces can be so expensive. When the location is already amazing, I don't think flowers are neccessary. That is a big reason why I wanted to get married on a beach. No decorating needed!

                    #10 Spazz

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                      Posted 27 October 2007 - 05:21 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by Morgan
                      I feel the same way about flowers. I don't like spending money on things I can't keep. I'll have my bouquet that comes with the wedding package & the flower for mike. That's it. Flower centerpieces can be so expensive. When the location is already amazing, I don't think flowers are neccessary. That is a big reason why I wanted to get married on a beach. No decorating needed!

                      I'm not getting centerpieces either. The only flowers I'm getting are my bouquet and my BMs bouquets and corsages for our moms. I feel like the location is enough too!




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