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Hey @KaraBeth

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  Planning a destination wedding has been the hardest, most hurtful & disappointing experience of my life. Ive dealt with similar issues to you...so I can def sympathize with you.

 

I have 3 girls that I consider best friends.  One ive known the longest (17 years) complained about my original wedding date pick bc it was on her bday- moved it to april.  She them complained about the dress 4 months after it had been picked and wanted another one chosen.  We went out that weekend to pick a 2nd option bc they needed to be ordered ASAP.  when rsvp/food choices were due she took a week to respond and then said due to financial issues it would only be her (no hubby or child)  A few days later she messages me on facebook to tell me she's decided to not go to the mexico wedding.  they have financial issues- car repairs and several other wedding this year. (im not even going to go into how upset/mad) I was.  She said she still wanted to be involved in planning the shower and bach party.  I also intend on having a small at home ceremony and she is supposed to attend that.  she ordered a dress at my dress shop.  She was supposed to call in her payment the Monday after the weekend that we picked it and never did.  Now the dress is in and she refuses to get it.  she claims that she ordered from another dress shop but i don't believe her.  On Valentines day she announced she is pregnant and due in august.  Soooo by my calculations...when all the dress issues, financial problems, and drama with her were going down...she knew she was pregnant and didn't intend on going. 

 

she also caused problems with the bach party/shower...which is this weekend.  My one BM moved to florida and is flying up for the weekend.  she wanted to do both in one weekend to avoid flying up here twice.  Problem maid was mad bc the night of the bach party she had a beef and beer to go to? Really? if its for a cause you really care about you can donate money or a raffle basket.  Also with both parties coming up this weekend my other girls have informed me that Problem maid hasn't contributed in any way...financially or other.  she hasn't said she's out completely but she won't participate. 

 

I'm just blown away by her actions.  when it came to her wedding I was the only person that showed up to her engagement party with a gift (a very expensive set of toasting flutes) Her MOH refused to do anything and no one could get in touch with her... I stepped up and headed all the planning.  Not to mention you should have seen her ungrateful reaction the day of her shower.

 

Shes just one of the many issues ive come across with planning.  Kara...its going to suck. People will complain. Some will book that you never expected...while those you thought were definite will make excuses. Its crazy...when you ask ppl to spend money to share in your day so many aren't willing...but if you did it at home they would flock to the reception for the open bar.  I've spent so much time feeling bad and upset...but really it got me no where.  You can't force people to care or to save...or to even keep their comments to themselves.

 

I invited 80 people. We will have 24 actually coming. It is going to be small & not what I ever dreamed of...but im going to make the best of it and create the best experience I can for the people that are making the trip.  Its hard...especially in the beginning to handle the upset but like so many people have said to me...its about me and my fiancé. Its really everyone elses loss that wont make the trip.

 

and please...vent on here all you want.  I find it very relieving to just kinda get it all out.  Plus you are not alone and its always nice to know that someone out there is going through the same stuff.

 

Also, on a side note...900 for for days does seem a little steep.  Now I know your a different season than me but my deluxe rooms were 635 for 3 nights plus 201 for an additional night.

 

who is your travel agent? are you using a GIVC agent? mine is and shes awesome. she even got 500 knocked off our family suite. if your not locking in with your current TA I would shop around.  some have better relationships with the company and therefore I think get better rates. good luck :D

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:) Hi Ladies, 

 

My name is Mari and I have my wedding booked for January 2015 at Azul beach. I had the chance to visit the resort last month and thought it was beautiful but I am already completely stressed out with all the planning and budgeting coming my way. I am looking forward to learning and sharing with you this whole process.

 

 

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@@talicea7812 thank you so much responding, not that it's a good thing that you've had your share of drama due to others too but I am glad you can relate and get where I'm coming from. I know I can't make everyone happy and coming from someone who is used to doing that its a hard thing to accept. it's just stressful, not everyone has really said they're mad about cost but I can tell that's what they're thinking based on some snarky comments made. I did look into moving our reservation later in the winter/spring but my fiancé and I really liked the idea of always having a good reason to get out of Ohio during our crappy winters so we settled on Feb. My stepmom is a travel agent so we are going through her and we've already put down our deposit so I would hate to lose that money and cause friction. The rate is so high because it's high season unfortunately. Some family (my dad, stepmom, and my cousin who is a bridesmaid) have had no issue with the cost, my cousin just said to me this morning....I'm thinking of it as a vacation so I don't get why everyone is being annoying about it....my point exactly lol. I did price 3 day trips for $600 something for people so they do have that option if needed. I'm just a little stressed because my stepdad just lost his job last week and I know it will be a little bit of a stretch for them to go now. Hopefully he can find a new job before next....I am thinking of offering to pay their deposit to help them out because I do want them there. Everyone else I just need to tell them if you can come great, if not we're having a reception when we get back. Hopefully people come around. We had friends that went to Hawaii to get married last year and she mentioned that her parents were mad about it at first then came around and later thanked her because they never would have went to Hawaii otherwise. You are so right BTW about everyone flocking to the open bar! Exactly! My fiancé and I have been there for a lot of these people for their weddings, birth of their children, etc and they are just totally withdrawn from the whole thing now after the moment I said we were doing a destination wedding.

I am sorry you are dealing with your friend being so mean about all this, I just can't believe people. It's your wedding for crying out loud. It's just very selfish. If they can't go that's fine but at least be involved and ask how planning is going, etc. That's how I feel at least. I guess that has a lot to deal with why my feelings are hurt too. I expected my friends to be more involved. It's just crazy to me. Sorry of this is a jumbled mess I am writing it on my iPhone lol. Thanks again for listening to me whine and vent and if you need to vent as well you know where to find us hahaha.

Hi @@MariCorrea23 I am getting married there on 2/27/15! Do you have much planning done yet or just date reserved?

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Welcome to the site! You'll find all the tips and information you could possibly want on this site, and then some! The ladies are more than willing to share their ideas and provide insight!

 

Congrats and happy planning!


For the ladies that have so many things going on with their plans, I can sympathize, believe me. We ended up being just the 2 of us because everyone backed out, including the MOH and bestman.

 

I understand that it's hurtful and disappointing. We want everyone to be as happy as we are! There are 2 things though in life that bring out the worst in families - weddings and funerals. And destination weddings I think just make things worse in some ways because there is a cost involved.

 

It will work out, honest. We got married in a beautiful setting in Jamaica, the wedding coordinators were our witnesses and we had a wonderful time. Not what I wanted, and there is a friendship that will never be repaired over it but sometimes that's life. And sometimes you really do find out who your friends are. The best thing is not to let other people ruin what is a happy time for you. Easier said than done, yes but just keep reminding yourself that the people that attend your wedding love you both very much and have made a lot of effort to be there. Appreciate them. Appreciate the man you're marrying and the fact that you can go to a beautiful, tropical setting and have the wedding of your dreams!

 

Good luck!

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@@KaraEbeth

 

I just really cant wait for the planning and everything to be done with.  The hurt feelings are insane! and to think...I didn't want to pick a maid of honor bc I said no one friend is any more important than the other.  My other maid (Florida girl) has barely even talked to me through the whole process. Around Christmas she was up to visit and didn't even say anything! Then me and my 3rd maid were going out for brunch that weekend and she was supposed to join.  She ended up backing out bc she was having guests over and originally thought they were coming over later in the day! Seriously? I figured I wouldn't see her again til bach party weekend...so you can't tell the guests to come later bc you have other plans?

 

I mean aside from what I feel is a lack of caring & like you said no one really asking/caring about how planning is going it just hurts...bc these are the 3 girls who's weddings I've been in & I was very involved!  Most involved in the wedding of the BM who has backed out of my wedding.

 

My 3rd maid (and presently closest, most involved and caring) told me that Problem maid wasn't sure if she was going to attend the bach party and shower bc of all the friction btwn us- which is fine.  However, she has repeatedly told her that she would contribute to the shower since she agreed to help all those months ago.  I am trying to be as nice as possible bc my maids are depending on her contribution...but at the same time I don't want her at those events and taking credit when the credit is not due. She texted me last night asking if we could talk. I haven't responded.

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Always end up this way.....when it your turn for some nice attention and big life changes those ppl are nowhere to be find..acting jealous...I'm like really....why u jealous...you had ur turn before me!!

 

my FI was saying ppl are gonna be hurt they were not part of the wedding..I said this is my vision , this is what I want...they had

their day or will and they can do what they want.... If I wanna have a DW with just our immediate family they shouldn't be mad.I just don't wanna do all that invitation rsvp bla bla stuff.....

 

Should I tell ppl I'm getting married in cancun with immediate family then say we're having an reception at our home

later down the line....you will be invited then..

 

My first plan was not tell any of them...go to cancun get married and then send out announcement...we did it..got married in

Cancun.... please help us celebrate at a reception in our home...etc...  but FI said I should tell them beforehand..I just dont

wanna hear all the..why u didn't ask me to come...I wanna be there etc...... and some wont be able to come either..

 

what ya think?    what are ya plans??

We are getting married at CH days before cancun..only symbolic in cancun...

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I agree with acw... it took me a long time to be okay with everything.  I was also hurt when I found out my 2 bridesmaids that are coming are only staying for 2 days!!! and not bringing their significant others. I know some of this may seem petty and stupid but my initial reaction was hurt feelings.  To keep a long story short, I made peace with it. It is what it is and I can't change it. 

 

I always thought of my wedding not just as a celebration as a love btwn a husband and wife...but a special opportunity to share that important day with the most important women in your life...in essence also a celebration of friendship.  Well I cant force other people to see it that way. So I've turned my attention to my FI's friends.  They are awesome and excited and have made sacrifices to be there.  I'm really looking forward to vacationing with them. 

 

So...again...I can't wait for this to be over. with the drama with the maids and the situation dealing with the resort...the sooner the wedding is here the better. I just want to be married and start that new chapter in my life.

u

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@@talicea7812 @@acw271011 @@beccafries thanks so much for the input girls and so true that it brings out the worst in family (friends too for that matter)...it also will hopefully bring out the best in people as well. @@beccafries I was sending out save the dates to those invited to Mexico, as you've noticed most already know about it because they're the ones causing me stress right now lol and then I was sending out announcements when we get back with reception info or a simple invite right before we leave with reception info.

@talice7812 I can't believe this bridesmaid that's been such a problem to you, sorry you've had to deal with all of that. I haven't had to deal with any drama like that so far but I can see one of my friends who is an attention seeker/ drama queen (literally about everything) doing that. Especially swooping in to take the credit on things. She mentioned wanting to plan the Bach party and shower but yet has not text me once to ask how planning was going other than to suggest places in Florida....and if one more person suggests Florida to me I will scream lol. My best friend is probably not going to be able to make it, she is pregnant and due in May and she and her family are on one income so she can stay at home with the kids and she told me she probably couldn't from the start and I understand. She's at least trying to stay involved by coming with me to the dress shop and all that. I hope things start to run smoother for you and you have an awesome DW and to those that dropped out and caused you stress, they're missing out.

@@MariCorrea23 yes I live about 40 min north of Columbus but I work in Columbus. You have the same idea as me, get the heck out of this crappy winter weather! I can't wait for warmth lol.

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Well...I just returned the message to problem maid and it goes something like this:

 

"I really don't know if I want to "chat" right now bc anytime we talk nothing positive seems to come out of it... And right now im happy.  Soooo Im assuming this talk has something to do with the upcoming wknd?  If the chat is about anything other than "im really looking forward to this weekend," just don't call. And im sorry if that sounds mean or rude or whatever, but I've let the drama with you really get to me and at this point im excited for the bach party and shower and I don't need any negativity to overshadow that. "

 

Now I wait for the reply

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