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talicea7812

Family Issues

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Interested to hear others thoughts on the situation.

 

My FI and I are not rich/ well off people.  I am underemployed and looking for a teaching job.

 

First I would like to say I know that no one is expected/required to help us pay for the wedding.  My mother makes the least amount of money out of the 3 families.  She has paid for my dress, veil, accessories, alterations (everything related to dressing me)

 

My FI's dads side has offered to pay for his suit (and anything associated with that) and they have also contributed $1,000 to the wedding fund.  This is all coming from a man who was recently let go from his job and is making less than half of what he used to.

 

Now my FI's mother & step mother (yes, they are gay) are very well off.  One is at the top of the pay scale for teaching.  Anyway, they have offered nothing.  Which is fine...what really upsets me is that they booked a Mediterrean Cruise a month later.  AND will be paying my FI's sisters entire way to our wedding (hotel, air) when she is a 30yr old woman with a full time job and living at home!

 

Just wondering if anyone else sees something wrong with that?  They complain that she is dependent then turn around and instead of teaching her to save for the vacation offer to pay for it?  Meanwhile I'm working 3 jobs and my FI puts in 6 days of work a week...just in hopes that we can pull off this wedding.

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We're paying for everything ourselves.  I know our family are paying out a lot of money to go and am not expecting them to help foot our bill.  We chose to get married away and I'm just glad they're able to attend.

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My FI and I decided right from the beginning that our wedding was going to be paid 50% me and 50% him, no outside help permitted (even though our budget is really tight). Firstly because his parents don’t have money to spare, secondly because I don’t want my well-off parents using their money to buy us off and sway our decisions. Personally, I don’t want either set of parents to spend any money on us, we’re grown adults and if we can’t pay for our own wedding all by ourselves maybe we shouldn’t get married!

 

Don’t look at it as “they have money why won’t they treat us?”, focus on the generous gifts your parents gave and thank them for being so wonderful!

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Don't stress yourself about it. Me and my fiancé are funding our wedding ourselves, and while it would be nice for our parents to help, we're not gonna stress is. Sometimes priorities are different and people don't understand why they may need to contribute. Also, when people start contributing their money they start to think they have a "say so". I'd rather them not pay if that's the case!

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I can definitely understand why you would be frustrated. I would feel the exact same way in your position.

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Maybe hold a stag and doe party ahead of time to help pay for your costs - that way you won't feel the pinch as much if your MIL doesn't help out

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Definitely a stressful situation. My FI is paying our entire wedding by hisself (I was fired 4 mos ago). We have not asked help in any way. We just rearranged our budget and have had to cut things out. It's difficult but you have to evaluate what is important and what is not.

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