My Father Won't Be Attending My Wedding... Help!

[ruthehk]

Hi all, 

 

Unfortunately, my father won't be able to attend the wedding. There are several reasons for this, and he and I have discussed it. I'm completely understanding of his reasons to not come but I am still upset. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle, and now I can't have a father/daughter dance.  

 

I'm curious as to if any of the other brides here have faced, or will be facing the same situation. 

 

I'm trying to decide which would be the best. 

A) I walk down the aisle with my mum, and don't have a first dance (or do?! Maybe?)

I ask my brother in law, who is the only other male who has been in my life for a significant time, to walk me down the aisle and have my first dance with him. He will also be in the wedding party as he and my fiance are very good friends. 

 

Does anyone have any opinions on this?

[girlinthecity97]

Hi there -

 

Sorry to hear your dad will not be at your wedding. I say pick a person you greatlylove and respect. My dad had a stroke and it made me think about what I would do if he couldn't be there - I decided I would pick an uncle I respect and love as much as my dad and maybe do two dances...definitely one with my mom because we are super close then maybe one with my uncle if I want to stick with tradition.

 

A family friend lost her dad and picked her dad's best friend and an uncle to both walk her down the isle & they did a fun dance together at the reception. Hope this helps.

[krisdaversa]

Hi all, 

 

Unfortunately, my father won't be able to attend the wedding. There are several reasons for this, and he and I have discussed it. I'm completely understanding of his reasons to not come but I am still upset. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle, and now I can't have a father/daughter dance.

 

I'm curious as to if any of the other brides here have faced, or will be facing the same situation. 

 

I'm trying to decide which would be the best. 

A) I walk down the aisle with my mum, and don't have a first dance (or do?! Maybe?)

I ask my brother in law, who is the only other male who has been in my life for a significant time, to walk me down the aisle and have my first dance with him. He will also be in the wedding party as he and my fiance are very good friends. 

 

Does anyone have any opinions on this?

 

 

Sorry to hear your dad wont be able to come to your destination wedding. I would say ask your mum but this is a personal choice that has many factors involved depending on your relationship with your mum. You could always ask her to walk you down the aisle and still have the dace with your brother in law?

 

My FI and I are getting married in Cuba and after reading many brides comments and talking to our travel agent we have decided to get married in Toronto first and then do a symbolic ceremony in Cuba and just not tell anyone about this besides a handful of people. This not only easier for us/whole marriage process but also allows my grandfather who I am super close with to see me get married since he is 93 and wont be able to travel, so maybe that is something else you can consider?

[girlinthecity97]

@@krisdaversa - that's really nice that you guys are doing that so your grandfather can be involved!!! I wish I could do the same.  Sadly, I don't think my gran will be able to come or participate or even see us get married if we were to use a webcam. She's 96 & lives many states away. I'm highly doubtful my aunt and uncle will bring her with them to Mexico. That's my one regret re doing a destination wedding - she's my only living grandparent and I always thought she would be present for my wedding.  

Edited January 16, 2014 by girlinthecity97

[krisdaversa]

@@krisdaversa - that's really nice that you guys are doing that so your grandfather can be involved!!! I wish I could do the same.  Sadly, I don't think my gran will be able to come or participate or even see us get married if we were to use a webcam. She's 96 & lives many states away. I'm highly doubtful my aunt and uncle will bring her with them to Mexico. That's my one regret re doing a destination wedding - she's my only living grandparent and I always thought she would be present for my wedding.  

I totally hear you on this! I really close to my grandparents. Maybe you can getting married before leaving for Mexico and just do a symbolic ceremony there? You could always get married in the state where she lives?  It makes me really sad to read your post because I would be so heartbroken if my grandparents didn't get to see me get married or at least see pictures/video. I know my grandma is coming but I would love for my grandpa to see me get married

[talicea7812]

so sorry to hear that.

 

My dad hasn't been in my life...ever.  My mom wants to walk me down the aisle. 

 

Im not going to do the dance with her...but my fiancés dad wants to do a father daughter dance.  I agreed & think its sweet.

[girlinthecity97]

@@krisdaversa - you know, i hadn't thought of asking df if we could get married at the justice of the peace in my gran's state rather than the state we live in. not sure he'd go for it, but it's worth asking. my mom keeps saying "you never know" but i REALLY don't see my relatives making the effort to bring her. my fiance doesn't want to get married before the actual ceremony so if he were to go for marrying in a state other than where we live, we'd have to do it when we get back - assuming he doesn't change his mind AGAIN and want to go back to having a legal ceremony in mexico. he refuses to get married before.   

@@talicea7812 - that is really sweet & great that he sees you as a daughter!  

[krisdaversa]

@@girlinthecity97 Maybe you can just express how important having your grandma see you get married is. When I first got engaged I wasn't sure my grandpa would be around much longer (he was in the hospital at the time) so my FI arranged for photo shot with my parents, grandparents and us that is another option you can always do? but also having a little reception and a JP with her is also very sweet

[ruthehk]

Thanks for all the responses  

 

Sorry to hear your dad wont be able to come to your destination wedding. I would say ask your mum but this is a personal choice that has many factors involved depending on your relationship with your mum. You could always ask her to walk you down the aisle and still have the dace with your brother in law?

 

My FI and I are getting married in Cuba and after reading many brides comments and talking to our travel agent we have decided to get married in Toronto first and then do a symbolic ceremony in Cuba and just not tell anyone about this besides a handful of people. This not only easier for us/whole marriage process but also allows my grandfather who I am super close with to see me get married since he is 93 and wont be able to travel, so maybe that is something else you can consider?

 

We will be getting married before heading to Mexico, but unfortunately my Dad lives in Ontario and I live in Alberta so that's not really an option either. 

 

I have considered asking my uncle but we don't have a very close relationship as the majority of my family live in England, and I'm in Canada. Perhaps I'll ask my brother in law for a dance, and my mum can walk me down the aisle.

[RandL2015]

My father has not decided if he will attend my wedding. This is a 2nd marriage for both my Fi and I. Therefore, my son will walk me down the aisle.