| Originally Posted by shannon |
I definitely say send the STD- that way it's off your shoulders- you did what you could... the ball is in their court.
I'm in a kinda similar situation- my parents don't approve of my and my FI's interracial relationship -we've dated for 10 years- and lived together for the past 4- and they've never met him- refused. I sent them a STD- and will send them an invitation- I have told then over letters/email- that I do not want them there if they can't be supportive and truly happy that their daughter is happy- that they will receive all the information -but I only want them there if they can figure out a way by May to support my decision, the person I love, and my marriage. Honestly, I would rather them not come- but I figure for future grandchildren, etc- that I would at least send the information and tell them they are welcome if they can be supportive- maybe your FI can have a similar convo with his brother.... Good luck! Let us know how it goes... Believe me, I know how awful family drama can be.... Just focus on you and your FI in the meantime!
| IMO-I say send the STD and really do it because you want all your family there, not to show them you are taking the higher road. |
You should remember men can be very sensitive when it comes to money issues, and it really sounds like he is being defensive and using a differnt excuse to not discuss his financial status.
Your FI should write a heartfelt letter (no emotional face to face outbursts) to his brother and let him know he understands he has to put his children first, but will miss having him near in a very special time in his life. Maybe once everyone calms down, perhaps FBIL will realize family is there to support him and he should try his best to support your FI in his (your) wedding. As far as the wife- sometimes a woman has to stick by her man.
Another route to take would be to have a frank talk with the wife and maybe get to the root of the problem- also, suggest leaving the kids behind as a way to have a romantic getaway- even if it is just a long weekend. Appeal to her romantic side, she might start thinking bout all the other great reasons to go (other than your wedding of course) hehe!