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Is it okay to have a Stag and Doe??


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#11 RaydensMama

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    Posted 21 October 2007 - 11:18 AM

    OK honestly I dont think you should have one if you are having a DW since you are asking people to pay to come to your wedding. Its different when you are getting married locally. That being said, my sister had one for her friend who had a DW because all the friends wanted to have it. The bride and groom did not ask to have one. So I think if your friends really want to throw you one (it was 100% their idea) then go for it. But i dont think its right to ask for one to be thrown for you.

    #12 RaydensMama

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      Posted 21 October 2007 - 11:21 AM

      OK Ill give you an idea on what a Stag&Doe/Buck&Doe/Jack&Jill (any of those names) is.
      Basically you rent a hall get a bunch of booze and games and sell tickets. People buy a ticket (usually $10) and can buy cheap booze and play games (poker/roulette/blackjack etc) to win prizes. You pay to play and all the money you make goes to the bride and groom. You can sell raffle tickets, and they serve food which is part of the ticket price. Basically its just a huge drunkfest that makes the couple a few grand to put towards the wedding. Hope that helps!

      #13 Jenn08

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        Posted 21 October 2007 - 01:03 PM

        Wow.. I had no idea that Stag and Doe's were such a localized tradition! Well where I'm from (Southern Ontario) they're really common.
        The premise behind it is a huge party/fair where you sell people things to make money. It's usually about $30 a ticket with all-you-can-eat-and-drink included. There's often also a raffle or games to make money off of and provide entertainment.
        It's really a huge money grab but people like them. Usually a whole bunch of people you don't even know come out for a cheap night out and huge party. Oh and everyone gets REALLY drunk!
        The thing is that it's a lot of work for the wedding party and friends often feel obligated to buy a ticket even if they can't come.

        I suppose the equivalent would be a Bridal Shower. Are you guys having a Bridal Shower??

        #14 rodent

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          Posted 21 October 2007 - 01:39 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Jenn08
          Wow.. I had no idea that Stag and Doe's were such a localized tradition! Well where I'm from (Southern Ontario) they're really common.
          The premise behind it is a huge party/fair where you sell people things to make money. It's usually about $30 a ticket with all-you-can-eat-and-drink included. There's often also a raffle or games to make money off of and provide entertainment.
          It's really a huge money grab but people like them. Usually a whole bunch of people you don't even know come out for a cheap night out and huge party. Oh and everyone gets REALLY drunk!
          The thing is that it's a lot of work for the wedding party and friends often feel obligated to buy a ticket even if they can't come.

          I suppose the equivalent would be a Bridal Shower. Are you guys having a Bridal Shower??
          I didn't realize the bridal party planned it. it looks like a lot of work. I think the most important thing would be if your bridal party felt like doing it. If they want to & would have fun putting it together and if guests would have fun going then I think it's fine.

          I'm not having a bridal shower. I don't like traditional bridal showers where everyone watches the bride to be open gifts. i think they are usually boring. They also make you feel obligated to bring something. If a shower was more like a party I might like it.

          #15 LCBride2007

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            Posted 21 October 2007 - 01:42 PM

            i didn't want a shower - but MIL insisted. mainly i liked that a lot of people got to meet there before the wedding, so that was nice. so i did have a shower - but i felt bad asking people to spend even more $$ on us!

            #16 starchild

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              Posted 21 October 2007 - 01:57 PM

              I had a shower because my BMs and mom insisted. It was really very nice, but I am so with you Morgan - I dreaded having to open gifts in front of everyone. Again, the people throwing it insisted so I went with the flow.

              But I felt odd, especially because the guests were like "Hold it up so we can see" when I opened things. It was all too self-centered for me, what are you supposed to say "Ooh I got a blender, Oooh look at my china"...just not my thing.

              The stag and doe sounds really cool but I know for a fact I would get a lot of "who do they think they are" comments. But again, if it's common where you are then it wouldn't be as offensive.

              #17 Debs

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                Posted 21 October 2007 - 03:24 PM

                In these parts they are called a buck and doe and we are definately having one, because most people will not be coming to the wedding. It's a small-town thing... I had never heard of it until moving to the sticks

                I would definately have one!

                #18 kiki

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                  Posted 21 October 2007 - 04:16 PM

                  Ive been to sooo many stag and Dos in Ottawa and they are LOTs of fun. Ive never had to pay to get in though.

                  The couple made money:

                  1) from the drinks ppl baught ( a cetain % goes to the couple)
                  2) Raffle ticket $$$.
                  3) game money

                  So many random ppl come to these events and everyone has lots of fun! I would not charge a cover to get in though!!!

                  The S & D's ive been to, did not require that much planning and the couple made tons of money.

                  #19 foxytv

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                    Posted 21 October 2007 - 04:31 PM

                    I hadn't heard of this before BDW, but it's kind of odd to me. A Honeymoon Registry serves the same purpose, without being so open about asking for money, IMHO. I am more than willing to give gifts/money/etc .... but don't think personally that it's appropriate to ask for it. But, it does sound pretty standard in Canada, so that's cool (heck, if it was standard here, I'd be all for it, lol).

                    #20 bride_2_b08

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                      Posted 21 October 2007 - 06:59 PM

                      For our stag and doe we planned the whole thing and did all the work. We didnt want our wedding party to have any extra expenses. We had one b/c most of our friends wont be able to make it to the wedding. We had a table of prizes and any one that wanted to get a prize bought tickets at the door (arm length for $20) like i mention in an earlier post we had some really great prizes so one person won a $700 spa basket for $20. We had some games but not many people played them. It just like a big party with all your friends/family. All the ones I have been to are a ton of fun. Generally people come to help out the couple getting married with expenses for the wedding. I am from a very small town and everyone knows everyone and we all want to help each other out.
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