I am Carlota from Spain (so sorry for my English) and I am getting married in 2 months in Riviera Maya. I am so excited and wishing the day finally arrives but I am really tired about my mom's behaviour.
At least once per month she is ticking me off/annoying me and we finish arguing about things related to the wedding.
In 2011 my elder sister got married and she decided to have a wedding at home. She and her (now) husband in spite of living in London, decided to do it in Spain. That was taken as a bad decision for my mom because my sister decided to "use" my mom as her wedding coordinator and mom was REALLY stressed. She was saying "I hope my other 2daughters want to make a DW"
So from that moment we told to my parents we were getting married, my mom is driving me crazy. This is other kind of wedding comparing with the one that my sister had and decisions about wedding things are taken by my FI and me, so I have to recognize that from the start I was not asking her opinion in every detail (and now of course almost anything). I think this is the thing she bothers her because from 10 months ago she behaves like a child.
1) Wedding dress. I had seen with her several in two stores and I decided that I did not want to go any other place to look for. She talked me about other store that I dont like the style and she yelled me at me at phone
2)Later she was like saying that my day was not going to be a real wedding because only few people was coming (which BTW is other thing we wanted to have an intimate day). At my sister's there was 210 people. At my wedding there will be 22 people and Fi and I are soo happy for that!
3) She wanted I gave my wedding invitations with 2 or 3 months in advanced. Although I explained her that was not possible because for obvious reasons, she was phoning me several days to do not do it. In her opinion was really early giving them in November and that I was crazy!
4) She complained me a lot because she wanted that I celebrated my wedding at the start of June because is my parent's anniversary so she can celebrate it being in holidays in Mexico...
I WAS SHOCKED!! Is this about you or my wedding? We decided to do it in August because in other way the family and friends of my Fi as well as my friends could not have come. August is the official month of holidays in Spain. My parents could come in any month as they are retired but not the other people because of their jobs.
5) I am making small details to my guests like OOT bags, welcome cards, etc and she told me that what stupid things I am doing
I could tell you a lot of them, the last one is because I want to wear sandals with no heels and today it was the 4th time she phoned me to tell me (and yell me) that I was going to seem a stupid and silly bride because everybody was going to wear heels but not me (when BTW she obviously does not know this but who cares what other guests are wearing, right?).
I am really dissapointed about her behaviour. Instead of supporting me and be happy for me, she is all the time looking for controversy.
Last Sunday I went to my parents home for lunch and I showed them a youtube video about other bride that got married at the same resort. Today at phone she told me "looking that video is like you are going to make a show and not a wedding". These have been such hard words to me...
Everytime she comes to me with things like this I finish really upset. I told to her today and in other occasions, try to reason her but it is impossible. She says she is happy to me but it does not seem so.
When she gets angry because I am not taking her advice, I just make like I am listening her... but no way. She repeats things all the time. Somedays I just do not pick her the phone because she stresses me a lot. I cannot handle her behaviour.
I just tell her information when she asked but very few. I do not want to talk with her about my wedding because the 90% of the times she puts a bad face or says bad things I am just "tired" of her... This upsets me quite a lot...
I do not really know how to handle her and this situation....