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Teacher in need of editors


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#1 LadyP

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    Posted 15 October 2007 - 09:18 AM

    I have begun my save the dates and I keep changing what I want or the wording.

    As a teacher I have become dumb. In the city we are constantly watering down how and what we teach so my vocabulary and spelling are very crazy. for example I have names that try me all the time Fe'male, Squan, Ikea, and Claymidiah (think a STD) Sir and Th are just a few that have come across my path

    Anyway here is what I have please edit and help me keep one thing.

     

     

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    #2 starfish kate

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      Posted 15 October 2007 - 09:31 AM

      Catherine- I only found 3 tiny things:

      It's Magen's Bay
      Walgreen's
      And at the end in the last sentence I think you want to say "join us in St. Thomas in October 2008"
      Kate

      #3 LadyP

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        Posted 15 October 2007 - 09:47 AM

        thank you. I would have never seen it.

        #4 Jessica

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          Posted 15 October 2007 - 11:39 AM

          3rd paragraph says
          "will be getting married at Megan’s Bay"

          should be Magen's, switch the e and a

          Yay! How exciting. Are you guys going to get passports? I would suggest it. It's just easier than having to pull out your id and birth certificate, plus hey, always nice to have a passport right?!

          #5 Jessica

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            Posted 15 October 2007 - 11:40 AM

            Oh duh, I totally didn't realize the Magen's thing had been pointed out. Oh well!

            #6 LCBride2007

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              Posted 15 October 2007 - 11:44 AM

              in this sentence "taken at you local CVS" should be "taken at your local CVS"

              #7 LadyP

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                Posted 15 October 2007 - 11:46 AM

                I love you gals thank you for this help each of you are pointing out something different. I better make the corrections before I forget. hehehe

                #8 MikkiStreak

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                  Posted 15 October 2007 - 02:41 PM

                  Catherine,
                  Here's my edit....





                  Dear Family and Friends;


                  We’re getting married! We have chosen flip-flops over high heels for our destination wedding in St. Thomas. This area of the US Virgin Islands promises to be lots of fun in the sun, with its beautiful beaches, fun activities, and tons of R & R.

                  We would love to have you attend our intimate affair while enjoying the beauty of the Virgin Islands. We have chosen October 18, 2008, so please save the date!

                  We’ve been told St. Thomas weather is ideal in October. Our sunset wedding will be held on the beach at Magen’s Bay on Saturday, October 18, 2008 at 5:00pm. Travel arrangements are being handled by for guest accommodations at .

                  We realize it may be difficult to attend our October 2008 wedding, and we understand if you are unable to join us. We’re crossing our fingers with hopes that you can join us for as long as you choose to stay. There are so many things to see and do in St. Thomas, regardless of the length of your stay.

                  The law could change at any time after December 31, but passports are not currently required for travel to the US Virgin Islands. If you plan to obtain a passport for your travel, please allow yourself (insert timeframe) to receive it. You can go to your local post office with a certified copy of your birth certificate, photo ID, and passport photos (which can be taken at you local CVS. Walgreen, or Picture People). The application is available for download online at Passport Home.

                  Formal invitations will be sent closer to our wedding date. At this time, our wedding coordinator is requesting a tentative guest count to help us in planning events and activities for our wedding weekend. Please return the tentative RSVP by January 31. We look forward to planning our private destination wedding and spending time with all of our loved ones.


                  Love,
                  Lawrence and Catherine


                  #9 LadyP

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                    Posted 15 October 2007 - 02:51 PM

                    Wow did I say that. It sounded so eliquent when you did it. thank you so much

                    #10 TATrisha

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                    Posted 15 October 2007 - 02:52 PM

                    Maria... you rule. Seriously. I'm not sure why I EVER send out anything without asking you to read it first!

                    ~Trisha~

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