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Losing Sleep Over the Budget- Anxiety- Ridden bride :(


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#1 Jenny2014

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    Posted 01 March 2013 - 05:31 AM

    Hey ladies,

     

    We are still over a year and a half out from our wedding. We know where we are going to get married and when.

     

    However, I am dreaming about the budget, about the guest list, about the planning and it is making me so anxious.

     

    Neither of us have particularly fruitful jobs- we don't have much left over at the end of each month after all of our expenses are paid. We are paying for the wedding ourselves (maybe with family contribution, but we aren't banking on that as both sets of parents are in a tight bind right now). I am just so stressed out right now over trying to save money and not making the day of our wedding crappy. I know, I know at the end of the day, if it is only the two of us, that is fine. But I know we will have some guests, and I just am so anxious about it being less than amazing. Heck, even if no one shows up, I am anxious we won't even have the money to go ourselves! I already work long hours every week, and have done the working two jobs at once. I burnt myself out pretty fast. I know I will feel better if/when I get a new job that pays more/is more relevant to my education.

     

    I'm not even articulating properly how I am feeling. I guess I am overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, exhausted.

     

    Please tell me I am not losing my mind- that this happens to everyone, and that it will get better.

     

    I think maybe growing up, being an adult and having these huge responsibilities is getting to me right now. I know I just need to take a breath and center myself. Things will work out, and our wedding will be as it is meant to be.

     

    It's just really hard convincing my overactive brain that at 2 o'clock in the morning when I wake up in a panic over photographer choices/ guest list worries/ etc.

     

    Seriously, did not think I would be this person. It goes away right?????



    #2 Tulumbride2013

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      Posted 04 March 2013 - 07:10 AM

      Youre not crazy, and everything will come together really nicely for you. Sit down and get your budget together. Figure out how much y can come up with, and allocate it where it is most important, a TA can help find you the best deal,( mine is awesome). Tax time is a good time to set some money aside, and cut out any little expenses you can. 

      Do it like I am, become a DIY bride! You can make sooo much of your decor, invitations, ect. Cut costs where they can be cut! Chairs, reception, DJ ect. Figure out what IS MOST important, like photography, dress ect. As far as dresses go, buy used! Look at sample sales. 



      #3 Tulumbride2013

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        Posted 04 March 2013 - 07:11 AM

        Good luck, everything will come together nice for you. Remind yourself you have lots if time!:) 



        #4 Jenny2014

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          Posted 04 March 2013 - 09:26 AM

          Your right. I know things will work themselves out how they are supposed to. I am getting photographer quotes right now. I thought I was going to be okay with just the 50 from the resort photographer, but I'm realizing it's not enough, and I will really regret that. So adding in the photographer will be a lot more for us, but we will make it work.

           

          I plan to be a DIY bride, that's for sure. I have always loved stuff like that, and know what I want to do to get it all done.

           

          Tax time will definitely be where we save the most. Hoping to put away at least $3000 this year from it, if our returns are similar to what we got last year. I think once I see more in that account, I will relax a bit. I slept a bit on it over the weekend, and feel better about it. I am still crazy nervous about it all, but I know that will decrease when we sit down and have the full out discussion around it. Just have to get the quotes and put it all together.



          #5 TATrisha

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          Posted 04 March 2013 - 10:18 AM

          It happens to every bride, whether destination or not. 


          Just try to remember that you're going to Puerto Vallarta!   The Dreams resort is AMAZING and gorgeous and you don't really need much else to make it magical for everyone involved. 

           

          So set a budget.  What you can afford and not lose sleep over.  Perhaps it just includes travel/dress/photographer.  And literally nothing else.  And that's okay!!!  You don't need programs or out of town bags or fancy shoes you'll never wear again.  you're getting married at a beautiful and unique place and your guests will love it no matter what!  And you're marrying the love of your life, so you know YOU'LL love it!!


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          #6 Jenny2014

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            Posted 04 March 2013 - 05:11 PM

            It happens to every bride, whether destination or not.  Just try to remember that you're going to Puerto Vallarta!   The Dreams resort is AMAZING and gorgeous and you don't really need much else to make it magical for everyone involved.  So set a budget.  What you can afford and not lose sleep over.  Perhaps it just includes travel/dress/photographer.  And literally nothing else.  And that's okay!!!  You don't need programs or out of town bags or fancy shoes you'll never wear again.  you're getting married at a beautiful and unique place and your guests will love it no matter what!  And you're marrying the love of your life, so you know YOU'LL love it!!

            THANK YOU! Hahaha. I know Dreams is amazing- it's where we got engaged! I think after this weekend, after we file our taxes and find out how much our returns will be, it will be a heck of a lot easier to see how much we have to save per month. Just waiting on a couple responses from photographers, but nothing has swayed me so far from my first initial contact. I really thought I was going to be okay with the resort photographer, but I just don't see 50 pictures being enough. I know I am marrying the love of my life, so at the end of the day, if all we can afford is basics and nothing special for our guests, well, that's just the way it will be. It's a day to celebrate us, not a day to go broke haha.

            #7 Melissa14

            Melissa14
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            • Wedding Location:Dreams Los Cabos
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            Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:20 PM

            Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

            Hey ladies,

             

            We are still over a year and a half out from our wedding. We know where we are going to get married and when.

             

            However, I am dreaming about the budget, about the guest list, about the planning and it is making me so anxious.

             

            Neither of us have particularly fruitful jobs- we don't have much left over at the end of each month after all of our expenses are paid. We are paying for the wedding ourselves (maybe with family contribution, but we aren't banking on that as both sets of parents are in a tight bind right now). I am just so stressed out right now over trying to save money and not making the day of our wedding crappy. I know, I know at the end of the day, if it is only the two of us, that is fine. But I know we will have some guests, and I just am so anxious about it being less than amazing. Heck, even if no one shows up, I am anxious we won't even have the money to go ourselves! I already work long hours every week, and have done the working two jobs at once. I burnt myself out pretty fast. I know I will feel better if/when I get a new job that pays more/is more relevant to my education.

             

            I'm not even articulating properly how I am feeling. I guess I am overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, exhausted.

             

            Please tell me I am not losing my mind- that this happens to everyone, and that it will get better.

             

            I think maybe growing up, being an adult and having these huge responsibilities is getting to me right now. I know I just need to take a breath and center myself. Things will work out, and our wedding will be as it is meant to be.

             

            It's just really hard convincing my overactive brain that at 2 o'clock in the morning when I wake up in a panic over photographer choices/ guest list worries/ etc.

             

            Seriously, did not think I would be this person. It goes away right?????

            You are definitely not alone. I'm 5 months away and I worry about our budget constantly. It will all work out. You have plenty of time but just stay focused on what really matters. You have the love of a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Nothing else matters in the long run :)


            Marrying My 5th Grade "Boyfriend"...Life has a funny way of working itself out


            #8 Dazeydawl

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              Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:49 PM

              I'm in the same boat as well. I'm two months out and the money factor is really starting to get be stressed. Me and my fianc© also don't make crazy amounts of money, we do make more than we need at the moment but once kids and a house come I know we will be living pay cheque to pay cheque. We have cut back on ALOT in our daily lives for the past year and somehow managed to save quite a big of money but I'm still terrified to spend it and keeping charging things to my credit card until i know what our final costs are. As for the wedding costs we did splurge on photography is this is the most important thing for us and so we are flying someone with us. But we are cutting out a DJ and just using our iPod. We also cut out flowers for the ceremony, so no arch or anything. I have DIY'd my heart out and if I find anything on etsy or in stores I like I try to figure out how to make it first. I'm bringing down the majority of my centrepieces including lanterns, ikea has a 45 day return policy so assuming they make the trip ok I might be returning them after (does this make me a bad person? What else am I gonna do with 5 lanterns lol unless the florist buys them off of me). I'm sure you will be fine. You still have a long way to go and lots of time to save. I would sit down and also look over all your bills and credit crd and bank statements and really itemize where you spend money and where you can cut back like date nights, if you have full cable or satellite look at cutting some channels out to save money, do the same with cell phones. Come summer maybe hold a garage sale and clear out some stuff you never use anymore! There's lots of ways to get creative. Instead of picking up a second job as it is tiring there's other ways of making some extra cash, if you know anyone with small kids my offer to babysit? Anyways I'm dragging on I'm sorry!

              #9 Billandstina

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                Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:50 PM

                I know for me having an excel spread sheet where we put every wedding penny spent on it has really helped keep us together and made us realize the truly important things (like photographer) and the extra stuff we don't need (which can add up really quickly if you don't pay attention). Also look for sales!! My FI laughs at me but I very literally don't think I've paid full price for anything big or small for this wedding...so secretly I think he's happy I look for coupons and sales! Lol

                #10 Jenny2014

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                  Posted 05 March 2013 - 05:15 AM

                  Originally Posted by Melissa14 

                  You are definitely not alone. I'm 5 months away and I worry about our budget constantly. It will all work out. You have plenty of time but just stay focused on what really matters. You have the love of a man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Nothing else matters in the long run :)

                   

                  I know, thank you! I know it is still so far away so worrying about it now is unnecessary. But heck, we've already been engaged almost 6 months now with barely anything saved. Okay, yes, granted, we bought a car because mine died on me as I was driving it (piece of ), so that took a big chunk of our savings for the initial payments and the insurance going up. And the extra $300 I had allotted for putting away for the wedding is now being paid in a car payment and more expensive insurance, so I think that is where a lot of my stress is really coming from. I know it was a completely necessary expense, but now we are only putting away $200/month, and that gets us absolutely no where towards where we need to be for this wedding. Things will change, hopefully new/improved jobs will bring an increase in pay. We'll see how things work themselves out!






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