We are still over a year and a half out from our wedding. We know where we are going to get married and when.
However, I am dreaming about the budget, about the guest list, about the planning and it is making me so anxious.
Neither of us have particularly fruitful jobs- we don't have much left over at the end of each month after all of our expenses are paid. We are paying for the wedding ourselves (maybe with family contribution, but we aren't banking on that as both sets of parents are in a tight bind right now). I am just so stressed out right now over trying to save money and not making the day of our wedding crappy. I know, I know at the end of the day, if it is only the two of us, that is fine. But I know we will have some guests, and I just am so anxious about it being less than amazing. Heck, even if no one shows up, I am anxious we won't even have the money to go ourselves! I already work long hours every week, and have done the working two jobs at once. I burnt myself out pretty fast. I know I will feel better if/when I get a new job that pays more/is more relevant to my education.
I'm not even articulating properly how I am feeling. I guess I am overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, exhausted.
Please tell me I am not losing my mind- that this happens to everyone, and that it will get better.
I think maybe growing up, being an adult and having these huge responsibilities is getting to me right now. I know I just need to take a breath and center myself. Things will work out, and our wedding will be as it is meant to be.
It's just really hard convincing my overactive brain that at 2 o'clock in the morning when I wake up in a panic over photographer choices/ guest list worries/ etc.
Seriously, did not think I would be this person. It goes away right?????