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Dealing with difficult relatives


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#11 Sherlohnes

Sherlohnes
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    Posted 21 March 2013 - 12:19 PM

    After numerous attempts I FINALLY heard back from my aunt.  She told me she was being selfish and just wanted to avoid the situation all together.  She did confirm that they will not be coming to my wedding.

    So far, not a single person in my family is coming.  Its irritating because before we got engaged everyone kept on asking "when we going to Jamaica?" and now that its actually happening everyone is bailing.

     

    I'm so dissapointed....

     

    Its really hard to be excited when there will not be a single person from my family there to support me.



    #12 DANIELLE03

    DANIELLE03
    • Jr. Member
    • 413 posts
    • Wedding Date:January 16, 2014
    • Wedding Location:RIU OCHO RIOS
    • LocationWINNIPEG,MANITOBA,CANADA

    Posted 21 March 2013 - 01:01 PM

    Originally Posted by Sherlohnes 

    After numerous attempts I FINALLY heard back from my aunt.  She told me she was being selfish and just wanted to avoid the situation all together.  She did confirm that they will not be coming to my wedding.

    So far, not a single person in my family is coming.  Its irritating because before we got engaged everyone kept on asking "when we going to Jamaica?" and now that its actually happening everyone is bailing.

     

    I'm so dissapointed....

     

    Its really hard to be excited when there will not be a single person from my family there to support me.

    Aww IM so sorry to hear that!!! I know what you mean. Everyone has been asking us for years where/when we were getting married. We told them numerous times, its going to be a destination wedding when it does happen. So they have had fair warning! smh.

     

    My grandparents cant make it, my grandpa is 92 and grandma is older too, and my grandma on my moms side doesnt leave canada. Unforotunately its a sacrafice which sucks, but Im bringing her dress shopping and ill have someone record it for her.

     

    Its difficult for my parents but they are figuring it out, and ill probably help them in the end.

     

    Maybe something will change their mind and they will end up coming. So sorry :(



    #13 Sherlohnes

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      Posted 27 March 2013 - 07:26 AM

      I called my uncle the other day...I needed to hear it from him.

      He told me that he felt that there was no need for all of us to get together because it was between my aunt and I and he felt it didnt concern him.

      I told him that it did concern him....maybe more because I had asked him to walk me down the aisle.....and he said "yes".

      He replied "that was before I knew the dates"

      He went on to say that this was not the time of year they prefer to take their holidays and that one of his coworkers takes his holiday in July (I guess that means the entire month?!?)

      I asked him if he even tried and he said "no". He knows the coworker wouldn't budge so he never even asked.

       

      So, they didnt even try.....

       

      they gave up back in Oct and when I wouldn't change the date like they asked.....they blame me for not accomodating them.

       

      I'm hurt that they wouldn't even try, I'm offended that they are talking such trash about my wedding, I'm sad for the once beautiful relationship that now can never be......



      #14 Jenny2014

      Jenny2014
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        Posted 27 March 2013 - 08:46 AM

         

        You're wedding will be as beautiful as you want it to be, because you and your FI will be there. If other people cannot appreciate the importance of this for you/ sacrifice their own plans to come to your special day, that is on them.

         

        I just want to give you the biggest hug, and want you to know you are so loved on these boards, and we are all here to support you, and to celebrate in your marriage!
         



        #15 Sherlohnes

        Sherlohnes
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          Posted 27 March 2013 - 09:03 AM

          Thank you so much for the kind words Jenny.  I'm very glad that this site exists so that us brides have a place to let it all out! Thanks you to all the brides for your advice and kind words!

           

          My day will be perfect because I have the love of a good man and thats all that matters!

           

          I wish all of you a beautiful wedding day and a lifetime of love and happiness!

           

          Sher



          #16 Jessica Correa

          Jessica Correa
          • Jr. Member
          • 270 posts

            Posted 30 March 2013 - 12:36 PM

            Originally Posted by Sherlohnes 

            Thank you so much for the kind words Jenny.  I'm very glad that this site exists so that us brides have a place to let it all out! Thanks you to all the brides for your advice and kind words!

             

            My day will be perfect because I have the love of a good man and thats all that matters!

             

            I wish all of you a beautiful wedding day and a lifetime of love and happiness!

             

            Sher

            Exactly. My blessings to you and your FI. Your day will be as amazing as you dream of or even more!



            #17 Soon2BMrsCanty

            Soon2BMrsCanty
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              Posted 18 April 2013 - 10:02 AM

              Ladies, I thought I was alone in this!!

              One thing I will say to you all is my FI and I made a pack no matter who makes it we are going! Even if its just us! I think that is easier said then done. My fiance gets very upset at the thought of certain people in his family not being able to make it, when Im very much like no big deal! I just hope that it doesnt cause us problems in the end like I made him have a wedding without his mother being there or something because I'd hate that!! This is really what we want and we think its more cost effeciant to top it off.. We are from two different state (NJ&PA) as is. My biggest fear has always been catering to everyone having a wedding for everyone else and not really having what we want... Im just not prepared to cater to people who 1. arent that supportive of our relationship/wedding 2. wouldnt be any happier if it were stateside. So with that Im moving along and hoping for the best!!



              #18 Soon2BMrsCanty

              Soon2BMrsCanty
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                Posted 19 April 2013 - 07:45 AM

                My heart breaks for you, but this is the road we chose, stand firm in your decision to have your Destination Wedding and keep moving forward!! I wish you the best of luck and love on your day I know exactly where you are coming from!!



                #19 georgiasl

                georgiasl
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                • 54 posts

                  Posted 19 April 2013 - 10:44 AM

                  I amonly having 3 peple from my side come. Everyone else has canceled evethough they said in the beginning that they were so excited to go. I am still super excited and I refuse to let anything or anyone put a damper on our big day.



                  #20 mrs p 2 be

                  mrs p 2 be
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                    Posted 21 April 2013 - 04:36 AM

                    OH MY 

                    I really thought i was alone in this

                     

                    we told everyone when we got engaged in nov 2011 that we would be going away to get married but wasnt sure when we then told everyone in april last year that we were going to go to jamaica in april 2014 (2 years notice) my mum and dad didnt say a lot my brother didnt seem impresses but my sister in law was delighted all of my fiance's side were over the moon 

                     

                    His friends however were very vague on saying if they would be coming my friends however said straight away they would be there 

                     

                    how its actually turning out is my fiance's mum step dad and sisters and brother have all booked his friends are booking in the next week or so none of my friends are coming only my mum and dad and that has been a nightmare

                     

                    my brother and sister in law found out they were having another baby instead of just telling me they wouldnt be able to come they said nothing he pulled a face and changed the subject everytime it was mentioned my parents changed the subject everytime it was mentioned. eventually i had a bit of a meltdown to my dad and told him how i felt and was told i was putting him in an awkward position!!!

                     

                    I said for the millionth time if they couldnt make it we understood but they really needed to tell us as carrying on as they had was really upsetting me it is my wedding after all. My dad said he would speak to him and a few days later he called round and said they would not be coming.

                     

                    Im gutted obviously but i do completely understand and things are better now its out in the open although people who arnt coming do tend to avoid talking to you about it!!

                     

                    xxx






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