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midsummerbride

Feeling guilty about DW

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I get the same reactions when I tell people I am having a destination wedding. People usually sigh and ask right away how much? I know it's an expense to attend our wedding but the wedding is one day and they get a vacation out of it too. I find there will always be someone complaining about something. If you are to have it in your hometown, I am sure they will find something to complain about. you can't make everyone happy and that's just the way it is. Best off doing what you want from the beginning and people can deal with your choice whether they like it or not.

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I'm feeling a ton of guilt over the whole DW thing... So guilty that I ended up blowing my budget to help some who couldn't afford the trip. I just have to keep telling myself that we have family scattered across the US and Canada, it would have been inconvenient for the majority of our guests in any location, and we would have spent just as much money (if not more) to do it anywhere else. I've never been to a DW before but from what I've heard, once it's all said and done, even the guests who complained the loudest will admit they had a blast. I am very much looking forward to hearing this from a select few of our guests.  ;)

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Honestly I am not the kind of person who dreamed of having a DW, I assumed I’d have a traditional local (Indian) wedding, but then it became more and more apparent that my parents wanted to invite 300 of their friends. I really dislike the idea of random acquaintances that I can’t even identify by name at my wedding, so the DW became an attractive alternative. My parents can still invite all their friends, but the chances that any of these 300 friends will travel to Jamaica is close to zero.

 

I feel bad that most of my close friends can’t come, but I totally understand if cost is an issue, plus they are still happy and excited for me and hope my wedding is a blast.

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I was married 10 years ago and did the traditional home town wedding, so this time I wanted to do something different and magical to set it apart from my first. My FI has never been married so was hesitant, mainly because of the financial burden it would put on people to attend... but realized after very little convincing that the people who would truly want to be there and who we would want surrounding us on the special day wouldnt think twice about the cost and would be there... and others would simply send their regards and not attend.

 

We came to a decision to give our guests a TON of notice (Allowing them to put deposits down almost 18 months before the wedding and slowly save for our big day) and hoping that will allow those who may not have thought about a trip to Mexico, a chance to consider it to join us at our wedding.

 

I still feel a bit of guilt since asking a couple to spend $4000-$5000 to attend a week at an All Inclusive for our wedding is a LOT of money... but so far, the response from everyone has been surprisingly supportive! If it turns out that we dont have many people attend, I will understand and try not to feel bad for it. I just hope that my FI's family and closest friends attend or I will feel guilty more for him, since he would surely have been happy doing the whole things here at home.

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