What do I do?

[tkostiuk]

We had our destination wedding planned for this week but after some things happened at Christmas we cancelled the wedding. We were going to be doing a symbolic ceremony down there but no one knew that we were already legally married. After we called off the wedding trip we told everyone who was coming to the wedding we are legally married. 

Now we invited about 40-50 people and 18-20 were coming on trip. We only told the people coming on the trip the wedding was cancelled . 

Now we are planning this summer to have a party at home to celebrate .

my problem is I am receiving gifts in the mail from aunts and uncles who don't know we cancelled the wedding trip.

what do I do? Do I return the gifts? Do I keep them cuz we are married? Do I write a thank u card for the gifts stating we decided not to have the destination wedding instead we had a private ceremony just the two of us and we will have a party in summer and then keep the gift?

i really don't know what to do. I don't want people asking a lot of question as why we didn't to the destination wedding but people should know I guess .

any advice????

[terrihugg]

I think rather than only telling the people who were attending the trip about the cancelation, you should have told everyone who was invited regardless of attendance. I would hate to be the person who was left out of the loop intentionally. 

 

So I suggest, alerting the people who weren't attending anyway. It's better they hear the news from you than someone else. 

 

As far as explaination as to change of heart, I don't think you need to give one. Just explain that you appreciate the love and support received. However, due to personal circumstances you decided to make the difficult decision to cancel the destination wedding. 

 

But if it isn't too private, then go ahead and give the reason why you canceled it. 

 

In terms of gifts, I think the gracious thing to do is offer to send the gift back when telling them the news. It's possible that when you make the offer, the family members will stay say they want you to keep it considering you are married anyway.

 

By the way, I know this is a tough situation but know that your friends and family will love and support you no matter what. You need to do what makes you happy. 

 

Good luck!

[terrihugg]

I just wanted to add. That if people do try to ask the reason behind your cancelation and you aren't comfortable sharing, you can say that it is personal. Or you can say that after considering (financial situations, circumstances, etc.) you found that it wasn't a viable option.

 

Then go on to say, that as loved ones you would still want them to be part of the union and festivities so you are having a party in the summer to celebrate which they will be invited too.

 

P.S. I was almost in your shoes around christmas time to .Me and the FI were seriously thinking about canceling the DW to have a private ceremony in Barbados because it's what we really wanted. 

[Gracysmith]

Originally Posted by tkostiuk 

 

We had our destination wedding planned for this week but after some things happened at Christmas we cancelled the wedding. We were going to be doing a symbolic ceremony down there but no one knew that we were already legally married. After we called off the wedding trip we told everyone who was coming to the wedding we are legally married. 

Now we invited about 40-50 people and 18-20 were coming on trip. We only told the people coming on the trip the wedding was cancelled . 

Now we are planning this summer to have a party at home to celebrate .

my problem is I am receiving gifts in the mail from aunts and uncles who don't know we cancelled the wedding trip.

what do I do? Do I return the gifts? Do I keep them cuz we are married? Do I write a thank u card for the gifts stating we decided not to have the destination wedding instead we had a private ceremony just the two of us and we will have a party in summer and then keep the gift?

i really don't know what to do. I don't want people asking a lot of question as why we didn't to the destination wedding but people should know I guess .

any advice???

 

Congratulations for your wedding...Don't return the gifts as they are blessings from your  relatives...send them a thankyou card for the gifts and invite them all for the party you are planning for.....

[tkostiuk]

Thank u

[avonladee]

Originally Posted by tkostiuk 

 

Thank u

Good Luck!

 

Originally Posted by terrihugg 

 

I just wanted to add. That if people do try to ask the reason behind your cancelation and you aren't comfortable sharing, you can say that it is personal. Or you can say that after considering (financial situations, circumstances, etc.) you found that it wasn't a viable option.

 

Then go on to say, that as loved ones you would still want them to be part of the union and festivities so you are having a party in the summer to celebrate which they will be invited too.

 

P.S. I was almost in your shoes around christmas time to .Me and the FI were seriously thinking about canceling the DW to have a private ceremony in Barbados because it's what we really wanted. 

Great Advice!

[mscheryl10]

Terihugg does have some good advice....I would not give specific reasons for the cancellations, but I would let them know that you are planning a celebration later and would like for them to come. As for the gifts, you did get married and they weren't going to attend the ceremony anyway so don't feel guilty about keeping the gifts.