who to invite?

[*JillD*]

I need some advice and ideas about what the rest of you have done. If we were getting married at home we would invite approximately 200 guests. Are all of you still inviting anyone you would have invited normally or are you cutting your list down. If I cut it down I think people will be insulted that they weren't invited, even though I know most people probably aren't going to be able to come. And I know my sister is going to throw me a bridal shower because I did a surprise one for her, so I don't want her to invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding, but again I think a lot of people are going to be insulted if not invited to the shower, and if invited to the shower and not the wedding.

 

What is everyone else doing?

[TammyB]

For me, we were in the same boat as you are. We knew that most of everyone on the list wouldn't go so we went ahead and invited everyone. (well I should say family and close friends) With that said, you could run into more people coming then you expected. So depending on your budget you may want to take that into consideration.

[TammyWright]

we just invited friends and family but felt it was ok not to invite co-workers that if you had a stay at home wedding you would've had to invite.

[NABUMBAH]

I went ahead and invited most of the guests. We nixed some of the fringe friends from my Dad's side = he told them that the wedding is very small in Mexico. We ended up inviting somewhere around 150-175 and expect about 75-90 guests.

[*JillD*]

Thanks Tammy, yes I was thinking the same thing about more people coming then we were really counting on. I was thinking we'll have between 25 & 30, and if we had 50, great, but I really don't want 100 people to show up, but I don't think that many will come. We have a few close friends that will be having babies in may & june of next year, so I don't see them coming and a lot of our extended family will probably not want the expense. Of course steve is no help with any aspect of the wedding, its always, whatever you think, whatever you want, blah, blah, blah!

[*JillD*]

yes, I'm going to nix the work friends, because I know none of them will be able to come anyway because we can't all have the same week off and I work with all guys so they wouldn't be invited to a shower anyway, so no offending anyone. I guess once I put together the actual guest list I'll be able to better judge realistically who will definetly come, who will maybe come, and who will not, and then maybe that will help me to decide if I need to cut more people.

[A10CalGal]

Jill,

This is your opportunity to decide how you want your wedding to go down. For us, if we got married at home, it would have been rediculous - probably 200. I simply did not want a wedding of that size, and I really just want to have close friends and family involved that contributed in some way to our relationship.

 

We chose a destination wedding for several reasons:

1. We wanted an intimate fun way to get our families together in the same place for a weekend. My fam is in Cali and his is in Arizona - Cabo is a nice meeting point.

2. We didn't want to have the obligatory invites - i.e. we didn't want strangers at our wedding.

3. We wanted to get married on the beach.

4. We wanted to do something non-traditional.

 

So my advice to you would be to sit down with your FI and talk about what kind of feel you want at your wedding. Then use that as your guide when deciding who to invite. I will say, once you start sliding down that slippery slope of inviting people out of guilt, it can get really out of control! We've had to check ourselves a couple times in this process. I hope this helps

[*JillD*]

thanks Christa! I think you're right, that's my project this weekend, make a guest list and cross people off of it!

[Natalie Z]

Jill, We decided not to have an AHR so we ended up inviting everyone! I didn't want anyone to be upset they weren't invited! We ended up inviting 200 people and we expect 75-100. I just think you should pick your place and find out all your costs per person and go from there. If you can afford it I would say just invite everyone and give them the option.

[TBMSN]

I INVITED PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE, BECAUSE YOU KNOW EVERYONE'S NOT GOING TO COME BUT AT LEAST THEY CAN NEVER SAY YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM.