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Anyone else thinking of nixing the wedding party??


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#1 MissJali

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    Posted 29 November 2012 - 05:22 PM

    Originally when I got engaged in April, with the excitement of the engagement my god sisters volunteered themselves as bridesmaids and i asked my best friend. But now that my wedding is so far away, everyone is living their lives and scattering all over the country. Since it seems like i'll be doing most of my DIY projects with my mom anyway (she's a teacher and loooves arts & crafts) lol and dress shopping with my sister and mom. I kind of want to avoid the hassle of worrying about their dresses, hair, shoes, etc. and just tell them to just be there for me on the day of without wasting their money on that stuff. And just keep the flower girl, ring bearer, moh (my sister) and FI's BM. Any ideas on how to word it so they don't take offense?



    #2 leenawhite

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      Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:15 AM

      Originally Posted by MissJali 

      Originally when I got engaged in April, with the excitement of the engagement my god sisters volunteered themselves as bridesmaids and i asked my best friend. But now that my wedding is so far away, everyone is living their lives and scattering all over the country. Since it seems like i'll be doing most of my DIY projects with my mom anyway (she's a teacher and loooves arts & crafts) lol and dress shopping with my sister and mom. I kind of want to avoid the hassle of worrying about their dresses, hair, shoes, etc. and just tell them to just be there for me on the day of without wasting their money on that stuff. And just keep the flower girl, ring bearer, moh (my sister) and FI's BM. Any ideas on how to word it so they don't take offense?

       

      I think if you just talked to them one on one and explained how you feel they wouldn't be offended. Especially since your not replacing them , your just a very having one MOH , BM and family members. You could always still have them be included in getting ready with you the day of  and any wedding activities if they want to come visit you?

       

      Currently, I am in the bridal party for my best friend who lives in a different state.But I  haven't been to much help ( planning wise) which I feel really bad for. I will be flying to california where she lives (2-3 times) and then I had to purchase all the attire so its been a huge financial commitment. I am definitely honored, excited and never have complained once about the money or that I will be taking multiple trips. But I honestly wouldn't have been hurt if she decided to not have a bridal party or have me be apart of it since I live a different state. I think that may be the same for your god sisters and best friend? 



      #3 shannonmarie

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      Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:23 AM

      MissJali I feel the same way. I never wanted a bridal party. I agree, I just do not want to deal with the hassle. We will have a Maid of Honor which will be my sister, I could never get married without having her stand beside me and we'll have 2 bestmen, (only because my FI cannot choose between his 2 best friends). But other than that, I have no desire to have a "full" wedding party. I think you should just be honest with them. I'm sure they'll understand! 


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      #4 agm04

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        Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:26 AM

        I'm doing exactly what you described - just having my sister as MOH and FI is having his best friend as BM, and we have his cousins as ring bearers (2 of them) and my niece as flower girl.  We will probably have his sisters do readings just to include them, but that's it.  I think, especially for a destination wedding, if you explain it and emphasize that you want to reduce their expenses (no dress, shoes, hair, etc), they will be fine with it.



        #5 Laura2013

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          Posted 30 November 2012 - 04:46 PM

          I really didn't want a wedding party either, but gave in to the pressure (of mainly my mother) and now I have 8 bridesmaid and my Fiance has yet to ask anyone except his 10 year old nephew....lol. Don't get me wrong, having my girls there is so important to me but just didn't want the formality of a wedding party...I should have just stood my ground because now we are dealing with the stress of finding their attire, which is really difficult to do being off season and the bridal party being spread across the US.



          #6 MissJali

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            Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:18 PM

            Originally Posted by Laura2013 

            I really didn't want a wedding party either, but gave in to the pressure (of mainly my mother) and now I have 8 bridesmaid and my Fiance has yet to ask anyone except his 10 year old nephew....lol. Don't get me wrong, having my girls there is so important to me but just didn't want the formality of a wedding party...I should have just stood my ground because now we are dealing with the stress of finding their attire, which is really difficult to do being off season and the bridal party being spread across the US.


            Laura, my mother practically told my god sisters to do it!!! I could kill her...lol I just want them to be there for me, while i'm getting ready and stuff, still come with me to dress fittings if they want to. But Idk, I see videos on youtube of surprise dances the bride and bridesmaids have done, and that's something i'd thought i'd do also. But I don't want to worry about making sure they can buy the dress, shoes etc. My main concern is them having to pay for wedding attire on top of the travel expenses.



            #7 MissJali

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              Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:20 PM

              Originally Posted by agm04 

              I'm doing exactly what you described - just having my sister as MOH and FI is having his best friend as BM, and we have his cousins as ring bearers (2 of them) and my niece as flower girl.  We will probably have his sisters do readings just to include them, but that's it.  I think, especially for a destination wedding, if you explain it and emphasize that you want to reduce their expenses (no dress, shoes, hair, etc), they will be fine with it.

              Yea I already told one of my good friends (who I didn't ask to be a bridesmaid for the sake of trying to keep the bridal party small) if she would do me the honor of being Master of Ceremonies and she was thrilled for it. I also sweetened her up by telling her i'm making the girls wear very ugly dresses lol



              #8 MissJali

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                Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:23 PM

                Originally Posted by leenawhite 

                 

                I think if you just talked to them one on one and explained how you feel they wouldn't be offended. Especially since your not replacing them , your just a very having one MOH , BM and family members. You could always still have them be included in getting ready with you the day of  and any wedding activities if they want to come visit you?

                 

                Currently, I am in the bridal party for my best friend who lives in a different state.But I  haven't been to much help ( planning wise) which I feel really bad for. I will be flying to california where she lives (2-3 times) and then I had to purchase all the attire so its been a huge financial commitment. I am definitely honored, excited and never have complained once about the money or that I will be taking multiple trips. But I honestly wouldn't have been hurt if she decided to not have a bridal party or have me be apart of it since I live a different state. I think that may be the same for your god sisters and best friend? 


                You're a good bridesmaid! You joined a forum regarding weddings! Yea I think I will wait until after the save the dates go out in January and feel them out. I want them to be there for everything just don't think they should spend the money and I also just don't want to be seen as the bridezilla who complains that  none of her bridesmaids are around to help her with anything.



                #9 MissJali

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                  Posted 30 November 2012 - 05:24 PM

                  Originally Posted by shannonmarie 

                  MissJali I feel the same way. I never wanted a bridal party. I agree, I just do not want to deal with the hassle. We will have a Maid of Honor which will be my sister, I could never get married without having her stand beside me and we'll have 2 bestmen, (only because my FI cannot choose between his 2 best friends). But other than that, I have no desire to have a "full" wedding party. I think you should just be honest with them. I'm sure they'll understand! 


                  It's the only reason, I'm having a MOH, because it's my sister and there's no way my best friend won't stand next to me. I'm having my baby cousin as the ring bearer and my niece as the flower girl. FI hasn't decided on who will be BM as his brother might not be able to travel.



                  #10 sswed13

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                    Posted 02 December 2012 - 06:00 AM

                    For myself, I knew I always wanted to have a MOH and bridesmaids. I don't have a sister, but I have two very close sorority sisters, one of which is my MOH. I am helping them out with costs by paying for half of their dresses, and I have two family members (both are hair stylist), they will do our hair. I'm keeping things simple by having the girls wear neutral makeup, minimal jewelry, and leather-type thong shoes (the dresses are long, so they wont be seen).






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