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Who Needs a Laugh?

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#1 Alyssa

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    Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:17 AM


    What am I doing wrong?

    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
    I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
    I'm overreaching at all.

    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?

    Here are my questions specifically:

    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms

    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my

    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story

    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for

    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
    about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
    able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.

    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial

    PostingID: 432279810

    Dear Pers-431649184:

    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
    see it.

    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
    be getting any more beautiful!

    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
    to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
    you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
    Classic "pump and dump."
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
    lease, let me know.

    #2 PVBride

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      Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:20 AM

      That is too funny! Thanks for sharing!!

      #3 MsShelley


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        Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:21 AM

        that is too funny!! Do rich guys really hang out on Craig's list?

        #4 JulieG

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          Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:24 AM

          That is too funny. I love his answers. I just wanted to call her a money grubbing bitch, but he did it in a much much better way. I agree with him, make your own damn money. lol

          #5 Wisco4

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          • 666 posts

            Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:25 AM

            That's awesome. There so much to comment about this but where does one begin? Ha! I needed a laugh today, I'm so sick with a nasty cold right now...still at work though

            #6 LisaG

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              Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:26 AM

              That is great! I love this guy!!!

              #7 starchild



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                Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:40 AM

                Classic. Thanks for sharing, I needed that!!

                #8 Nrvsbride

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                  Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:44 AM

                  I wonder if this is real. What a wackadoodle! First of all the New York Times just published an article that says that to be at least at the bottom of the middle class in New York you need to make $75,000 per person (after taxes). I don't know what you guys are making but to me that is a lot of moolah. So yes it is expensive to be middle class in NY. In NYC I'm sure it is much higher but nowhere near the $500,000 she is claiming. She just wants to marry a media mogul like Mayor Bloomberg or something. She is clearly not looking for an investment banker she wants the damn VP of Goldman Sach's. Maybe if she had a personality she would be able to find a man!

                  #9 TATrisha


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                  Posted 04 October 2007 - 10:48 AM

                  Why do the "plain janes get the guy with money?" Because plain janes typically don't go bragging about their looks which makes them appear even more beautiful. Not to mention, they probably have jobs and work hard. Why would anyone want to marry someone who can't even work hard enough to FIND a man? I mean, internet dating really works... but I'm not so sure about Craig's list.


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                  #10 starfish kate

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                    Posted 04 October 2007 - 11:04 AM

                    They are discussing this on The View right now- they referred to the woman's post and the man's reply and now they are all giving their opinions. It is one of their "hot topics" today.

                    Too funny.

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