2013 At Home Receptions (AHR's)

[Peach]

Okay, another thought. We want to have some traditions, like a couple speeches, a video/slideshow, bouquet toss, etc. But we also want a more open-house feel. Is this possible? Can we maybe serve more open-house food (food stations, or lighter fare if it is later), and narrow down the specific traditions along with that?

[sfox4214]

I'll be doing an AHR the week after we get back from our 2 week wedding/honeymoon. I want to get everything wedding out of the way asap so I can enjoy my wonderful new life with the hubby ... and be planning/stress free !! 

 

We will be doing a Cocktail-Hors d'Ouerve reception on a Friday night. We had originally planned on doing a wedding at home, and put down a pretty large deposit at a gorgeous local brew house. They were kind enough not to just take our money, but let us change our date to do an AHR. However ... we did end up losing around $3,000 with the other vendors  We are going pretty heavy on the hors d'Ouerves (about 10-12 different pieces pp) and will only be paying for beer and wine as well. The idea for us is to not spend "wedding" kind of money ... as it is not our wedding.

 

We won't be doing anything associated with our wedding ... with the exception of some photo's that will feature our engagement pics and sneak peaks of wedding. We won't show a video, nor will we do speeches or dances. I've read that if you don't invite your AHR guests to your wedding (which we def. did not - we went the DW route to make our wedding more intimate) you should not relive it at your AHR. It can be offensive to some that you didn't invite them to your DW in the first place, so why rub it in. Plus I think doing all the traditional stuff takes away from your actual wedding ... I want to remember my first dance with my husband on a beach with sand in my toes ... but that's just my personal preference ... to each her own  

 

We will be ordering personalized pint glasses (because it's a brew house of course !) as favors for our guests ... and we'll have cupcakes instead of cake. This was mostly to avoid the "cutting of the cake" ... because I will have already done that, and again ... want to remember it the way it was the night I got married  

 

We're looking at it like a big party ... and it will be !!! While I'm sure the attention will be focused on us regaurdless ... I just look at it as a reason to get everyone together to have a good time ... for a good reason !! And I'm already planning one wedding ... I don't want to plan another !!! lol As far as telling people about your AHR ... we simply stated on our AHR invites we were getting married in a small intimate ceremony. I'm hoping people will understand ... that means immediate family. But we'll see ! 

 

 

 

 

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by sfox4214 

 

I'll be doing an AHR the week after we get back from our 2 week wedding/honeymoon. I want to get everything wedding out of the way asap so I can enjoy my wonderful new life with the hubby ... and be planning/stress free !! 

 

We will be doing a Cocktail-Hors d'Ouerve reception on a Friday night. We had originally planned on doing a wedding at home, and put down a pretty large deposit at a gorgeous local brew house. They were kind enough not to just take our money, but let us change our date to do an AHR. However ... we did end up losing around $3,000 with the other vendors  We are going pretty heavy on the hors d'Ouerves (about 10-12 different pieces pp) and will only be paying for beer and wine as well. The idea for us is to not spend "wedding" kind of money ... as it is not our wedding.

 

We won't be doing anything associated with our wedding ... with the exception of some photo's that will feature our engagement pics and sneak peaks of wedding. We won't show a video, nor will we do speeches or dances. I've read that if you don't invite your AHR guests to your wedding (which we def. did not - we went the DW route to make our wedding more intimate) you should not relive it at your AHR. It can be offensive to some that you didn't invite them to your DW in the first place, so why rub it in. Plus I think doing all the traditional stuff takes away from your actual wedding ... I want to remember my first dance with my husband on a beach with sand in my toes ... but that's just my personal preference ... to each her own  

 

We will be ordering personalized pint glasses (because it's a brew house of course !) as favors for our guests ... and we'll have cupcakes instead of cake. This was mostly to avoid the "cutting of the cake" ... because I will have already done that, and again ... want to remember it the way it was the night I got married  

 

We're looking at it like a big party ... and it will be !!! While I'm sure the attention will be focused on us regaurdless ... I just look at it as a reason to get everyone together to have a good time ... for a good reason !! And I'm already planning one wedding ... I don't want to plan another !!! lol As far as telling people about your AHR ... we simply stated on our AHR invites we were getting married in a small intimate ceremony. I'm hoping people will understand ... that means immediate family. But we'll see ! 

 

 

 

 

Your plans sound like what I'm looking for! We have a venue where it will cost us $3,500 for our guests for wine and beer only with a full dinner and would be even cheaper if we just stuck to hors d'ouevres with a full open bar. The balance for our DJ is $1,900. The total was $3,400 and we already paid a non-refundable $1,500. The venue is a small banquet facility that is next door to/ part of the restaurant where we got engaged. It sort of has some significance to us. Its close to our home, we got engaged there and my grandma, who passed away this year was there when my fiance proposed. Since then we have celebrated our bdays there, and I asked my girls to be my bridesmaids over brunch there. The manager is super sweet and flexible. It isn't wow splendiferous gorgeous, but if we could afford wow splendiferous gorgeous- we would not be having a destination wedding in the first place! haha The place has its own sound system, comes with centerpieces, candles, spotlight lighting for the centerpieces, colored linens etc. It has a nice modern feel, and I know the food is good because I eat there all the time. I just had reservations because it does host multiple events at one time, and I was concerned about what guests would think. Reading many of these posts confirms to me that it doesnt matter. It's party party time!

 

My fiance is not on board with an AHR. He feels it is unnecessary, but some of my family was really bummed they could not come to our DW (bigger families of 5, versus couples) I told my fiance that I would regret not having one and I did not want him to become the target of my regret because he didn't want one. Having a DW was a bit of a compromise on my end. My fiance wanted one from the beginning-so did his mom and after their weddings- many of my friends urged me to have one saying it was the best idea and they wish they could have had one. I have no doubt that my DW will be everything I am hoping for, but a piece of me wanted the big ass party with all my family and friends.  

 

 

Plus- its a great way to share our pictures- which I went for broke on! LOL 

[Mady28]

EVKnowsitall - There are a lot of inclusions in the price for your reception back home. I am still trying to figure out where we would do it here where I live. I know that it's hard because we are going from having a big wedding to a very small one, because not everyone can make it to Punta Cana. In the end, you are still doing a reception back home for everyone that couldn't attend, and I'm sure that will be fun! Also, have you thought of doing an After Party? I know that you said you would have liked a big party, maybe it can be continued after the AHR.

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by Mady28 

 

EVKnowsitall -

There are a lot of inclusions in the price for your reception back home. I am still trying to figure out where we would do it here where I live. I know that it's hard because we are going from having a big wedding to a very small one, because not everyone can make it to Punta Cana. In the end, you are still doing a reception back home for everyone that couldn't attend, and I'm sure that will be fun! Also, have you thought of doing an After Party? I know that you said you would have liked a big party, maybe it can be continued after the AHR.

 

Haha the more party the better! My friend is Punjabi and Indian parties go on for days. Her wedding was 3 days long and she had an after party after her final night too. We just started laying the groundwork for our AHR because we weren't sure we'd have the finances to pull it off. We went with the location that gave us the most bang for our buck but are planning on seeing if we can get a few items taken off to make the cost cheaper- like foregoing a cake (an assortment of cookies, cannolis etc is passed out to each table- do we really need a cake on top of this?)

 

Our initial DJ cost was $3,100. We paid $1,500 to secure the DJ and it was non-refundable, so after we decided to do a DW- we could not get the $1,500 back. It broke my heart to throw it down the drain and I knew I wanted an AHR anyway- so I decided to put the DJ to work at the AHR. The place has a 50 person minimum so we will book for 50 but increase the amount as we find out who will attend. The DJ comes with a percussionist so we are really going for less of a wedding feel and more of a cocktail party feel. I am not sure about wearing my dress again. It cost an arm and a leg and was bought by my mother and I'll never have the chance to wear it again. I am not keen on having to purchase a separate dress. I already have to buy either a knockoff or a second dress for my TTD- I think I will recycle my actual gown for my AHR. It's too fabulous of a dress not to be seen in! haha

 

Our AHR will be a week after our wedding. We depart our 7/5/13 wedding on 7/3/13 and return on 7/10/13- a Wednesday, so we didn't want to host it that very weekend. We have not confirmed but it would be the Thursday- Sunday of the week after our return.

[ashk]

We've mostly brainstormed our AHR so far. We have a lot of family who can't come to Mexico with us (teachers, large families, no vacation time, etc) including both sets of grandparents. I'm the first grandkid on my side to get married, and I know my grandma is disappointed she can't be there. Also, there are a lot of friends that we couldn't invite to the DW. We are going to invite all the people who attended the DW of course, plus everyone we invited, plus all the people we would've invited if we'd had the wedding locally (if someone is offended, I'm sorry but too bad!) People who truly care about you will want to help you celebrate.

 

We are telling people that it will probably be in June 2013 (so I have some time to recover and re-plan after we get home) and I'm thinking it would be fun to do it "family reunion" style, outside at a park with a Mexican beach feel. Mexican/BBQ food, games, music... I really just want an excuse to party

 

We will not have a "first dance" or a ceremony, as this is what Mexico is for!! Not sure about the cake, might do cupcakes instead. We will show up in our wedding clothes, then change. And we will probably show video and pictures of the DW.

 

We're on a budget so that's a big controlling factor for us too.

At the end of the day, this is not a requisite, it's an extra that you are having because you want to include as many people as you can. There will always be those who have something to say - but it's not their wedding, it's yours!

[abbacaddaba]

Originally Posted by ashk 

 

We've mostly brainstormed our AHR so far. We have a lot of family who can't come to Mexico with us (teachers, large families, no vacation time, etc) including both sets of grandparents. I'm the first grandkid on my side to get married, and I know my grandma is disappointed she can't be there. Also, there are a lot of friends that we couldn't invite to the DW. We are going to invite all the people who attended the DW of course, plus everyone we invited, plus all the people we would've invited if we'd had the wedding locally (if someone is offended, I'm sorry but too bad!) People who truly care about you will want to help you celebrate.

 

We are telling people that it will probably be in June 2013 (so I have some time to recover and re-plan after we get home) and I'm thinking it would be fun to do it "family reunion" style, outside at a park with a Mexican beach feel. Mexican/BBQ food, games, music... I really just want an excuse to party

 

We will not have a "first dance" or a ceremony, as this is what Mexico is for!! Not sure about the cake, might do cupcakes instead. We will show up in our wedding clothes, then change. And we will probably show video and pictures of the DW.

 

We're on a budget so that's a big controlling factor for us too.

At the end of the day, this is not a requisite, it's an extra that you are having because you want to include as many people as you can. There will always be those who have something to say - but it's not their wedding, it's yours!

 

ASHK

 

This is exactly what we are doing. We are renting a pavilion at a beach nearby and having bbq and lawn games, volleyball and such. We'll have the pictures out and some video and it'll be real relaxed. We'll show up in our wedding clothes for additional pictures and then we will switch into shorts and t-shirts. 

 

I'm trying to figure out when to send out these invitations and how to word them. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to bring a gift, I just want everyone to come and celebrate/have fun. If anyone has any suggestions on wording/time frame for invitations please let me know. We are getting married May 11th in Cancun and are having the AHR on June 29th.

 

Happy planning everyone

[Kay6356]

Originally Posted by abbacaddaba 

 

 

ASHK

 

This is exactly what we are doing. We are renting a pavilion at a beach nearby and having bbq and lawn games, volleyball and such. We'll have the pictures out and some video and it'll be real relaxed. We'll show up in our wedding clothes for additional pictures and then we will switch into shorts and t-shirts. 

 

I'm trying to figure out when to send out these invitations and how to word them. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to bring a gift, I just want everyone to come and celebrate/have fun. If anyone has any suggestions on wording/time frame for invitations please let me know. We are getting married May 11th in Cancun and are having the AHR on June 29th.

 

Happy planning everyone

"Your presence is a gift"

[Peach]

Originally Posted by Kay6356 

 

"Your presence is a gift"

We put something in our pre-travel brochure about what NOT to bring:

 

- A gift! Your presence is present in and of itself!

[Kay6356]

Originally Posted by Peach 

 

We put something in our pre-travel brochure about what NOT to bring:

 

- A gift! Your presence is present in and of itself!

I like that idea, I think I may have to steal it