My wedding has been postponed for the 3rd time now :( I can't even start planning I am Losing Faith

[LosingFaith]

My Fiance and I have been together for 3 yrs and engaged for 8 months. We have set a date 3 times; the first time I started planning and then we decided we didn't have enough time or money to keep that date. The second time I never even started planning because I was frustrated from postponing the first time and my Fiance hasn't shown an interest in planning anything. So, needless to say that date came and went. Our third attempt was set for October 13, 2012 and now that has been delayed. He said something about going to the JP and then having a ceremony at a later date.  I don't feel good about that because of the lack of interest he has shown in a real "wedding" thus far, I am afraid I would never have that.  Now I am just lost, I am battling feelings of just wanting to leave. I feel like if he really wanted this wedding he would halfway make an attempt to help plan and keep a wedding date.  I don't even want to set another one   Am I being stupid? I don't want to over-react.. I need advice PLEASE :/ 

[DwBride2Be]

Yikes! That's really sad to read your story. I can honestly tell you, my FI has had very little to do with planning, unless I specifically give him a task it's basically fallen on me. He helped pick the location, Otherwise it's been all me. I run things by him, but he really doesn't care lol. In talking to my friends who got married they said the same thing. Why don't you guys just discuss a budget, and once you have that start planning on your own. On the other hand the lack of interest could be a warning sign, So you two should probably have a serious discussion before locking anything in and especially getting guests booking trips in case he changes his mind. Good luck!

[LosingFaith]

Honestly part of me thinks he is just too comfortable. We have lived together for 2 1/2 yrs and he refers to me as his wife, I feel like i'm kinda taken advantage of :/ but then I feel selfish for thinking that lol.  Part of me still wants to plan, but I'm afraid to set a date and have yet another let down .  I want to be excited, like every other bride to be, and feel confident in the date.  I don't know when to throw in the towel, so I don't look like a fool once again.  Am I being too dramatic?  Sry, I just feel like it's been a roller coaster ride. :/

[shan0487]

Do you already have your trip booked and everyone that is coming to your wedding's trip booked?   

 

I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him discussing how it is important to you for him to be involved. 

 

My fiance doesn't do much either- I ask him his opinions about things, but I pretty much handle everything and i am fine with that when I need help I ask him or my bridesmaids. 

 

If you have only been engaged for 8 months and have changed your date 3 times, I'm assuming you were planning on having a short engagement- which can be very stressful and overwhelming, esp when planning a destination wedding to make sure everything is done in time.  We got engaged on Christmas and our wedding is 11 months later, on Nov 23rd.

[LosingFaith]

I guess it does kind of seem like a pretty short engagement; However, we were "unofficially" engaged for a while before he got the ring and made formal proposal.  So it hasn't really been all that rushed.  Luckily our family and friends are all fairly close so no long trips for anyone. As far as our honeymoon goes, we haven't booked anything yet.  

[Tulumbride2013]

I third, my fiance doesnt show much interest in helping me, or even opinions. He has helped with some DIY projects which is great though. Pick another date out thats like a yearish away, Like DWbride2be said, and start talking about excursions and ect to get him excited. My FI got really involved picking out a suit. Im sure he will come around soon. How does his family feel about the DW?

[LosingFaith]

His family is all for the wedding and some are a little frustrated that it keeps getting postponed, like myself.  I guess we'll just have to see how it goes..  Maybe you're right, a summer 2013 date could give more time to prepare but also more time to stress about last minute postponing again...  At which point I'd probably just cut my losses 

[Tulumbride2013]

Did you guys put a deposit down at a place and actually like book? Booking and filling out some of the paper work should start getting him excited. You deserve this weeding!

[LosingFaith]

He did put a deposit down last September on a trip to Myrtle Beach for our honeymoon; However since our original date was postponed, they gave us a year to reschedule.... that was up last month  ...  Sooo, that's where that is. 

[Branya2012]

I'd try to have an honest discussion with him before rescheduling a wedding date! Tell him exactly what you're telling us. You should be able to have such a frank discussion with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with! Then you will be able to be the excited bride-to-be, set a date and get everyone excited about your wedding and the trip!

 

Best of luck!