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TammyB

Off Your Chest

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Dear Self:

 

Stop. Over. Thinking. This. Trip.

 

Yes, it's a wedding, but it's just a trip. It will be okay if you forget a q-tip.

 

Relax. Breathe. 98% of everything is done. All is well.

 

Yourself.

 

ps. Do try and sleep a bit tonight. Black circles are not going to be pretty for your wedding.

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Dear World.

 

You kinda suck lately. You're never nice to me & you make me cry way too often. You don't make anything easy for me & every step I manage to take forward you push me 2 steps back.

Can't you just let me have one good thing?

You're like a mean kid shining a magnifying glass on an ant. Please stop.

 

Sincerely,

That little ant.

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Dear self,

Stop stressing over this wedding that is over a year away. You are supposed to be enjoying this engagement! And get off the computer and get to THE GYM you know how bad you want to lose the weight.

 

Yourself.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvt View Post
Dear Grass,

Why are you so hard to grow in Arizona?! I swear you take more maintenance than a delicate flower. Just grow, and stay green already!



Dear Weeds,

Why do you grow so quickly in Arizona?! I've never seen weeds grow so tall so fast in my entire life.


Signed,
a person who can't afford a lawn boy!
I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by azhuskergirl View Post
Dear woman in the bathroom who's always on her cell phone while doing her business:

Please don't. It's disgusting. I wish I had the courage to fart while you're doing it to teach you a lesson. I love double flushing just so the person on the other line knows where you are. Enough.

Susan

P.S. Wash you hands when you're done. It's disgusting!
this post just made my day! lol

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Quote:
Originally Posted by azhuskergirl View Post
Dear woman in the bathroom who's always on her cell phone while doing her business:

Please don't. It's disgusting. I wish I had the courage to fart while you're doing it to teach you a lesson. I love double flushing just so the person on the other line knows where you are. Enough.

Susan

P.S. Wash you hands when you're done. It's disgusting!
I come to this post to read things that will make me laugh and make happy. You accomplished just that AZhuskergirl, thank you!! i agree that it's disgusting, but i never thought about the double flush thing, i will utilize that from on!

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Dear Self,

Please stop stressing over EVERYTHING!

Realize it will all work out. You cannot please everyone so don't even try.

If one of your oldest and dearest friends cannot make it, you should not feel bad when she gives you a GUILT trip for planning YOUR wedding during a week SHE cannot take off from school. IT IS NOT ABOUT HER!

Get off the couch, step away from the fridge and leave the Best Wedding Destination Forum alone for awhile and go to the gym so you do not look like a beached whale dressed as a bride!!!!!!!!!

cheer2.gif WOW.....I feel so much better!

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Wow! This thread is awesome! Makes me feel sooo normal. Today has been one of those days, so forgive me....

 

Dear Renters,

When you send a one year lease you committed to paying me rent every month for 12 months. I'm glad to hear that you love the neighborhood and have decided to buy a place nearby. Honestly, that doesn't mean you get to stop paying rent. I leave out of state now - find someone new or continue sending the rent.

P.S. someone new = someone reliable that will be respectful to the property and the neighbors and someone that has a job.

P.P.S. water the lawn afterall I pay the fucking water bill

 

Dear colleagues,

Yes, I've only been there 5 months. Yes, I fired someone. Yes, someone else is quitting - does that mean you should dump more work on me - hell no. Get a grip. Also, just because I'm not into computer games and sports doesn't mean that you should pretend I don't exist. Yes, this is the first time i'm managing this many people. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm not perfect - get over it.

P.S. When you whine to my boss about me, I can hear. If you haven't noticed, she seems to be taking my side, so do us all a favor and SHUT UP.

 

Dear residents of San Jose,

Are there any normal, chill people living here? I'm ready for some friends that aren't hardcore video game players. How about a BBQ and a beer on Saturday?

 

Dear Mom & Dad,

I know you can't afford to help with the wedding. That's ok. We'll figure it out.

 

Dear FMIL & FFIL,

You just spent $40K on a new kitchen and $25K on your daughter's wedding. Now you're off to Europe for a month. Ever consider offering to help out a bit with our wedding? Just because we aren't doing a rehearsal dinner doesn't mean your off the hook. Oh, BTW, it's important to FI that his grandparents come - do you think you could actually talk to them and get them to come?

 

Dear Self,

Yes, you are out of shape. Get up in the morning and do something about it. Try walking the dog. You're running out of time - surgery is coming and then the wedding. Get moving.

 

To the dishes in the kitchen,

Can you please clean yourselves? FI will kill me if the kitchen is still a mess in the morning!

 

 

Thanks for listening! You guys rock!

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Dear TA:

 

You suck. You've sucked from day one and I should have fired your @ss. But I didn't.

 

I spent all day yesterday straightening out your messes, which you've told me no less than 10 times were all squared away.

 

If they were all squared away, then tell me, EXACTLY, why in god's name I would have put my nephews in the room with FI and I on OUR WEDDING NIGHThuh.gif

 

You're stupid, you suck and I am so happy that I will never, ever have to deal with you again after next week.

 

I may be a bridezilla, but at least I can sort out a room reservation.

 

B***H.

 

love, me.

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