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TammyB

Off Your Chest

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Dearest Headache,

 

You came to visit two weeks ago, I understand that you need to come for a stay every now and again, but this time you have over stayed your welcome. Both you and Aunt Flow arrived at the same time, however when she left you invited pain in the neck, pounding in the temple and stabbing pain in the eye.

 

I have tried everything in my medicine cabinet, including 4 IB Profin this morning, however you still are not getting the clue.

 

Please, please, please, tell me what it will take for you to leave. I plan on going out tonight with my freinds. You are not what I would consider to be a freind and there for you are not invited. Please be gone when I arrive home from work

 

Thank You

 

Stacey's Head

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Quote:
Originally Posted by STACEY View Post
Dearest Headache,

You came to visit two weeks ago, I understand that you need to come for a stay every now and again, but this time you have over stayed your welcome. Both you and Aunt Flow arrived at the same time, however when she left you invited pain in the neck, pounding in the temple and stabbing pain in the eye.

I have tried everything in my medicine cabinet, including 4 IB Profin this morning, however you still are not getting the clue.

Please, please, please, tell me what it will take for you to leave. I plan on going out tonight with my freinds. You are not what I would consider to be a freind and there for you are not invited. Please be gone when I arrive home from work

Thank You

Stacey's Head
Dear Stacey's headache,

There's no way you can stand up to the cocktail of 2-4 ibuprophen, 2-4 tylenol, 1-3 aleve, mucho caffeine, and an ice pack to the neck. You will soon be gone! She's had enough of you.

Goodbye,
Mandy

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Dear self:

Find the strength not to push your or FH siblings off cliffs in Jamiaca. fryingpan.gif(Should have not picked any of them for wedding party!)

Get rid of pounding headache

Find new friends since none of yours are coming to wedding

Stop fighting with FH about family, his and yours, live our own lives!

Continue hard work at gym, 9 lbs down, 10 to go!

 

 

 

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Dear body,

 

Remember how thin and pretty you were just 3 years ago, what happened?

 

and

 

Dear Ass,

 

Why so low and saggy? You look like you are always frowning and sad? If you keep frowning the wrinkles will not go away. Get up and smile, tighten up and get ready for your wedding day.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by STACEY View Post
Dearest Headache,

You came to visit two weeks ago, I understand that you need to come for a stay every now and again, but this time you have over stayed your welcome. Both you and Aunt Flow arrived at the same time, however when she left you invited pain in the neck, pounding in the temple and stabbing pain in the eye.

I have tried everything in my medicine cabinet, including 4 IB Profin this morning, however you still are not getting the clue.

Please, please, please, tell me what it will take for you to leave. I plan on going out tonight with my freinds. You are not what I would consider to be a freind and there for you are not invited. Please be gone when I arrive home from work

Thank You

Stacey's Head
That was great I feel your pain I am a migraine suffer... that made me laugh

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Dear Stacey's Head:

 

I really don't appreciate you sending your ache to move into my head today. SO not cool! Besides you throbbing in my head, I have to deal with the biggest idiots in the world.

 

Dear GE Moneybank - Keep jobs in America. The people in India do not understand when I told them they lost my payment because they can not find my payment for last month and have frozen my account even though my check was cleared 9 days before it was due. Now that I call, you have your very rude Indian lady tell me that I have to do all of the legwork to get it cleared. This is freakin ridiculous!

 

Dear Leonard and Denise - have your daughter either cash or send me back the check I sent her for graduation. I see that she shouldn't have even graduated high school because she wrote in the thank you card "thank you for coming to my graduation" - idiot - WE DID NOT GO to your graduation!

 

Love,

Celina

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Dear self

 

Stop getting yourself into shit - even if its well meaning on your part.

 

Also give yourself the strength to go to the funeral and not kill the bitch that is claiming to be the kid's girlfriend and mother of his child when she fucking isn't! Also give me the strength not to track her down afterwards and beat her till she begs and then keep going!

 

If you can't do that please give me a decent pair of knuckle dusters so that i can do the job properly.

 

Cheers

Me

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Dear Me,

 

Think positive, things will work out. Be strong and happy. Life is too short to be stressed out.

 

Love Me.

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This is a great thread!

 

Dear Condo Association: When we told you months ago that there was a hole in the roof leading in the attic that squirrels were entering -- we assumed that you would realize that after you remove the squirrels' nest you actually have to REPAIR the hole. Otherwise, the squirrels just come back.

 

And now, they are chewing through the wires on our air handler. It's really going to suck if they succeed, cause I guarantee it will be you, not us, paying to replace it. But instead of repairing the hole, you've hired pest removers again. Do you not see the cycle herehuh.gif

 

Dear Future Grandmother-in-law: I promise that it really isn't necessary to be so vile and hateful all the time to your only grandson who actually takes care of you and treats you well. Maybe you aren't sure what to do with him because he's hasn't stolen hundreds or thousands of dollars from you and he wasn't just released from prision for drug dealing. But I assure you that if you ever tell him again that you would "like him better if he didn't call so often" I will make certain you never hear from him again.

 

Oh yea, and leaving an $8 tip on a $90 bill is unexcusable. You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

Dear FI: Thanks for having a family that makes mine look sane. wink.gif

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