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TammyB

Off Your Chest

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Dear Whiny Bitch Developer,

 

I don't really give a shit that you have 70 tickets you are working on. Guess what? So does everyone else around you and they aren't bitching about it. I DEFEND you guys even when I think you are being lazy sloths!

 

So if I hand you 5 tickets for bugs and actually take the time to detail the shit out of the issue to make it easier for you to fix quickly, and then walk back to your desk to NOTIFY you of the 2 issues that are critical and explain them in detail and politely emphasize that this is for a huge corporation with name-brand recognition with contacts who bend over backwards for us and help us all collect a paycheck every week----

 

Then DON'T send the ticket back to me with a note saying that you simply won't fix any more bugs for this particular client because you don't have time. Fuck you--- why don't you grow some balls, you halfwit! I was just at your desk 5 minutes ago when you pretended you would get it done by the end of day tomorrow.

 

Fucking primadonna's...

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I just found this thread and need to catch up so bear with me:

 

Dear Heidi's boss:

 

Maria defined Karma as a bitch and it's coming your way, you miserable f'n bitch!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Karma,

 

It appears you got lost on the way to Heidi's boss and accidentaly landed on Maria. Kindly type in F'N BITCH in your GPS system and I am sure it will lead you to that miserable wench!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Dear Sarah's Patient,

 

You also are a miserable bitch. Everyday of my life when I have to leave for work at 6AM b/c NYC can't get their damn transportation system in check, I wave to people like you. You know the ones that have no jobs but mooch off my taxes, while you live with your drug dealing baby daddy, in a nicer apartment than me b/c your on welfare and the law says your entitled to have one room for each kid of a different sex, while I have to go to work. To you I say "F@CK YOU!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Skinny BDWers,

 

When I see your siggy and your toned bodies I immediately run to the bathroom and shove a toothbrush down my throat in the hopes that the cheeseburger I ate for lunch will come out and not settle on to my ass.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Aunt Flow,

 

Please stop visiting Tammy B. You have never once been invited, yet you persistently feel the need to come over. Why don't you mosey your ugly face on over to people like Sarah's patients or the losers that live in my neighborhood. All of society would thank you greatly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jerry Springer,

 

Please have your producers contact Trisha's SIL. The topic is called "I want to f@ck my brother"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jill,

 

I didn't know you went to law school. I'm so sorry for your loss. Law school sucks A$$!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Julie,

 

You are quite possibly the best sister in the world. If only more people had the heart that you do, the world would be a better place.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Melissa, Jamy and Maria,

 

B/c of you I wear depend diapers to work. Please cease all hysterical commentary until I am home from work. Thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Boobs,

 

You were meant to rest on the top of my chest not down by my belly button. Kindly adjust yourself b/c my navel has sent me an eviction letter. Thank you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear co-worker,

 

While that dumb blonde, bat your eyelashes trick may work with our boss I am not buying it. You were a dean of languages at the University of St. Petersburg in Russia. You have 3 masters and two law degrees. You speak 9 languages. You are a laywer in NYC. I am not buying the dumb act so stop pawning your work on me and do your own job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear 19 year old girls,

 

While I admire the fact that your tush doesn't require a "WARNING WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH" sign like mine's does, I would really appreciate it if you would get the f@ck off my FI when ordering a drink at the bar. With a hot ass like that and your slutty predisposition I'm sure you can find your own man.

 

In love and hate,

Glenda

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Galit, I also think you should send that to your dad. It made me so sad to read that post. I'm sorry that he has hurt you and your family so much. I hope things get better soon.

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rofl.gif

 

Dear Glenda,

 

You have just received the funniest post on this thread award from me! Yes me, I know I'm not really a big deal..but still!!! I'm laughing my @ss off at your comments!!!

 

Dear self,

 

Because you have wasted 1/2 of your day on this forum I think you should take another personal day tomorrow! you deserve it!

Love,

Trish

 

Dear Trish,

I think that is a great idea!! Personal day tomorrow!!!!

Love,

Self

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
Dear Subchorionic Hemorrhage,

GET THE F*@! OUT OF ME!!!! Every time I think you're subsiding I go to the bathroom and you've filled another pad! You're driving me crazy. I can't handle the emotional ups & downs I get with you. Just go away and never come back, k?
Dear Heidi's Subchorionic Hemorrhage,

Take her seriously.

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You are my hero--- I bow before greatness! What an amazing sense of sarcastic humor! I absolutely adore you Glenda!

 

1-pray.gif 1-pray.gif1-pray.gif1-pray.gif

 

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nrvsbride View Post
I just found this thread and need to catch up so bear with me:

 

Dear Heidi's boss:

 

Maria defined Karma as a bitch and it's coming your way, you miserable f'n bitch!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Karma,

 

It appears you got lost on the way to Heidi's boss and accidentaly landed on Maria. Kindly type in F'N BITCH in your GPS system and I am sure it will lead you to that miserable wench!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Dear Sarah's Patient,

 

You also are a miserable bitch. Everyday of my life when I have to leave for work at 6AM b/c NYC can't get their damn transportation system in check, I wave to people like you. You know the ones that have no jobs but mooch off my taxes, while you live with your drug dealing baby daddy, in a nicer apartment than me b/c your on welfare and the law says your entitled to have one room for each kid of a different sex, while I have to go to work. To you I say "F@CK YOU!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Skinny BDWers,

 

When I see your siggy and your toned bodies I immediately run to the bathroom and shove a toothbrush down my throat in the hopes that the cheeseburger I ate for lunch will come out and not settle on to my ass.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Aunt Flow,

 

Please stop visiting Tammy B. You have never once been invited, yet you persistently feel the need to come over. Why don't you mosey your ugly face on over to people like Sarah's patients or the losers that live in my neighborhood. All of society would thank you greatly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jerry Springer,

 

Please have your producers contact Trisha's SIL. The topic is called "I want to f@ck my brother"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Jill,

 

I didn't know you went to law school. I'm so sorry for your loss. Law school sucks A$$!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Julie,

 

You are quite possibly the best sister in the world. If only more people had the heart that you do, the world would be a better place.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Melissa, Jamy and Maria,

 

B/c of you I wear depend diapers to work. Please cease all hysterical commentary until I am home from work. Thank you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Boobs,

 

You were meant to rest on the top of my chest not down by my belly button. Kindly adjust yourself b/c my navel has sent me an eviction letter. Thank you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear co-worker,

 

While that dumb blonde, bat your eyelashes trick may work with our boss I am not buying it. You were a dean of languages at the University of St. Petersburg in Russia. You have 3 masters and two law degrees. You speak 9 languages. You are a laywer in NYC. I am not buying the dumb act so stop pawning your work on me and do your own job.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear 19 year old girls,

 

While I admire the fact that your tush doesn't require a "WARNING WIDE LOAD COMING THROUGH" sign like mine's does, I would really appreciate it if you would get the f@ck off my FI when ordering a drink at the bar. With a hot ass like that and your slutty predisposition I'm sure you can find your own man.

 

In love and hate,

Glenda

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Dear students,

Please stop asking me if I have your grades. They are getting worked on and I am just as overwhelmed as you are. If I had your grades don't you think I would have given them to you.

If you would all learn to turn in your assignments correctly and in the same place it wouldn't take me so long to grade your work.

 

Dear parents of my students,

Your children are almost 18 years old, are you planning to move to college with them? No they cannot re-do their summer assignments they were to be done over the summer hence the name.

And yes their summer assignments must count as a grade, I am sorry that your child chose to write one page for a five page assignment.

 

Love this thread.

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