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jello

Dealing with so much negativity

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OK, I need to rant.  

 

Just got off the phone with my mother, who was calling to tell me about some acquaintance of hers who had a brother who got diarrhea this one time in Mexico.  A few weeks ago, she had to tell me all about some person she heard of who ate bad pork and got a worm in his brain (?!), and last month, it was news report after news report about all the violence going on in Mexico (yeah, 2000 miles away from the Riviera Maya).  

 

From the beginning, my parents have been fighting us on having a destination wedding.  I've had to deal with a never-ending stream of questions and negativity.  "Will it rain?" "What if the guests get lost?" "Do the restaurant workers there wash their hands?"  Well, I have no control over the weather, people can get lost anywhere, and I haven't personally inspected every single restaurant in the Riviera Maya, but millions of people go there and manage to have a good time, so they must be doing something right.

 

Everyone else has expressed happiness and excitement, including my fiancé's parents, who said it looks like a beautiful location that they're very much looking forward to visiting.  If any of the other guests have negative thoughts, they're smart enough to keep it to themselves.  And I know that at the end of the day my parents will come and bring lots of love to our wedding, but in the meantime, they're sure doing an excellent job of driving me nuts!

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My uncle told me this weekend that he knew someone once who went to Mexico and somehow got really sick (drinking the water...) and since he already has a bad liver he probably won't chance it. Ummmm hello...don't drink the water then!? It actually just made me laugh... I'm sure there will be plenty more of these stories the closer we get to the wedding. Deep breaths. :)

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We dealt with a lot of negativity and actually sent out an email addressing guests' concerns. We wrote it in a comedic way and actually provided some articles about how the violence/crime in Mexico is actually not even as close to as bad as some cities in the US.

 

We also made sure we put some Tums in our OOT bags and I made my doctor write me a prescription for antibiotics in case I got sick while down there. I think maybe one person in our 42 guests had issues. It happens, but it's not as common as everyone thinks.

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I totally know how you feel! A few weeks ago my mom wrote me an email detailing all the bad things that people said about the resort we're staying in based on reviews on trip advisor. Never mind the fact that the overwhelming majority of the reviews are "excellent," she decided to focus on the few negative reviews. I still can't for the life of me figure out why she sent me that email. All of our deposits are booked, so we're not changing the resort, so what gives?

 

Have your parents done a lot of traveling? Mine have barely traveled anywhere so I'm chalking up all the negative comments and such to them being nervous or just wanting as much information as possible before going. Could you keep the wedding talk to a minimum with them until they start showing more excitement? It might help prevent the negative comments from coming up, or maybe just say "thanks for letting me know" and then move on to something else.

 

Anyways, I understand what you're going through. What can you do, eh. :)

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Thanks for the input, everyone.  Deeply appreciated. 

 

I had a chat with my mom where I explained to her that while I understood she has only the best of intentions and just wants to make sure no one get sick or hurt, good intentions doesn't always mean good deeds.  I explained that my fiancé and I put a lot of work into choosing our hotel, and that all of these negative comments were hurtful to us, even if she didn't mean them that way.  She seemed to understand, so hopefully things will be better!

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I've been getting a lot of this from my FI's family, who does not travel much. Between work and fun, I've been to more than 7 different Mexican cities more than 20 times, drank the water, eaten from street carts and never had an issue. I ended up putting a whole page on my wedding website with stats on the crime (and how it's as far away as Chicago to San Fran from where we are), and other concerns. Now when I hear grief, I just direct them there- to documented facts! So frustrating!

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I'm with you tulumbride2013. The complaining or negativity is a bit overwhelming! So come and be positive and excited! Or don't come and we will see you at the AHR!

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Originally Posted by Jenna1511 View Post

 

I'm with you tulumbride2013. The complaining or negativity is a bit overwhelming! So come and be positive and excited! Or don't come and we will see you at the AHR!

First deposits are due in 2 weeks with our wedding...and I have heard so much negativity including from my own mother who, just today,asked me if we can take OUR deposit back in case we call the weddin off or if not many ppl go....................................i told her, honestly, if no one comes and it's just us, i'm OK with it....i just don't want ppl coming if they dont want to (aka my sister) and if they are going to go with a long face or throw it in MY face that they are broke or in debt because of OUR wedding......honestly, i told her...if ppl want to come, great, if not, then GREAT. lol She and my sister think I am pretty SELFISH because I think this way.  I only think of "myself".....If I WAS thinking of ONLY myself, I would have picked a wedding at a MUCH swankier resort or somewhere more uncommon than Punta Cana....like Bora Bora! where one night is like $3k...We picked the GPPC because it was nice and the reviews are pretty darn good AND the price is way more than reasonable......but no one sees that part...smh.  *SERENITY NOW*

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Originally Posted by Jenn963 View Post

 

First deposits are due in 2 weeks with our wedding...and I have heard so much negativity including from my own mother who, just today,asked me if we can take OUR deposit back in case we call the weddin off or if not many ppl go....................................i told her, honestly, if no one comes and it's just us, i'm OK with it....i just don't want ppl coming if they dont want to (aka my sister) and if they are going to go with a long face or throw it in MY face that they are broke or in debt because of OUR wedding......honestly, i told her...if ppl want to come, great, if not, then GREAT. lol She and my sister think I am pretty SELFISH because I think this way.  I only think of "myself".....If I WAS thinking of ONLY myself, I would have picked a wedding at a MUCH swankier resort or somewhere more uncommon than Punta Cana....like Bora Bora! where one night is like $3k...We picked the GPPC because it was nice and the reviews are pretty darn good AND the price is way more than reasonable......but no one sees that part...smh.  *SERENITY NOW*

People seem to forget that your wedding isn't about them, it's about YOU! I've had the same issues, non stop complaining and negativity. Now that We are almost 2 months away, I'm so done and have zero tolerance for it. It is so unnecessary!! The people who want to be there will make the effort to go and at the end of the day, all that matter is that you are marrying the man of your dreams. 

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