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#1 starfish kate

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    Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:41 AM

    I have a couple of random wedding etiquette questions:

    -I am a BM, not MoH in my sister's wedding on Sunday. There are already 4 toasts: MoH, BM, FoB, FoG.... I have something that I wrote that I want to read, but are there already 4 toasts. Would it be too much for one more? It is 1 page, double-spaced.

    -I have heard that you say "best wishes" to the bride, and "congratulations" to the groom- is this true?

    Thanks!!
    Kate

    #2 JulieG

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      Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:48 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by starfish kate
      I have a couple of random wedding etiquette questions:

      -I am a BM, not MoH in my sister's wedding on Sunday. There are already 4 toasts: MoH, BM, FoB, FoG.... I have something that I wrote that I want to read, but are there already 4 toasts. Would it be too much for one more? It is 1 page, double-spaced.

      -I have heard that you say "best wishes" to the bride, and "congratulations" to the groom- is this true?

      Thanks!!
      She is your sister, that gives you the automatic right to say something if you want to. Just make it short and sweet so that people do not have to sit through a bunch of long speeches. I would want you to say something if you were my sister. So, you should do that. Maybe tell her first that you want to say something, just so she knows.

      Congratulations and best wishes are both nice things to say, but do not need to be said to someone specific, or at all. You say what you want, from the heart.

      When I was MOH in my sister's wedding, I was told I had to make a comment on how the GM's looked handsome, well they pissed me off so much at the rehersal that there was no way I was saying it, and I didn't. I do not believe there is anything you have to say, you say what you want and what you feel and leave it at that. Good luck.

      #3 Christine

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      Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:48 AM

      you know that is up to the bride and groom in my opinion. At my sisters wedding (it was a shot gun situation, so nothing was pre-planned) they had open mic toasting and I was appalled at some of the drunken comments especially some of the baby comments, so I chose to have my DJ not open up toasting (we pre-planned who was going to speak). I have a huge family and we let them toast the night before at the rehearsal dinner
      Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

      #4 jak27

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        Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:51 AM

        See my thoughts in red:

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by starfish kate
        I have a couple of random wedding etiquette questions:

        -I am a BM, not MoH in my sister's wedding on Sunday. There are already 4 toasts: MoH, BM, FoB, FoG.... I have something that I wrote that I want to read, but are there already 4 toasts. Would it be too much for one more? It is 1 page, double-spaced. I think it depends on the vibe of the night...are people getting bored and their meal getting cold, or are the toasts wonderful and everyone is loving it? I've been to weddings where the toasts lasted 45 minutes and it was great!


        -I have heard that you say "best wishes" to the bride, and "congratulations" to the groom- is this true? I've heard you're never supposed to say Congratulations to a couple until they are married, so I always say Best Wishes...but I don't know why, except my mom told me so!
        Thanks!!


        #5 Spazz

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          Posted 01 October 2007 - 11:52 AM

          I think you should let your sister know you want to speak and see how she responds. I don't think there would be any problem with it though!

          I never heard that you're supposed to say one thing to the bride and another to the groom...interesting!

          #6 LCBride2007

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            Posted 01 October 2007 - 12:59 PM

            if you're worried about the wedding night toasts being too long - what about giving a little speach the night before at the rehearsal dinner - is she having one?

            #7 starfish kate

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              Posted 01 October 2007 - 01:06 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by akh
              if you're worried about the wedding night toasts being too long - what about giving a little speach the night before at the rehearsal dinner - is she having one?
              Yes, she is having a rehersal dinner and I did think of that, but I think my problem has been solved... I just spoke to my other sister who is the MoH and she totally doesn't want to do a toast so I think I might do it instead. I'll check with the bride first of course, but this might be win-win for all of us.

              Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!
              Kate

              #8 LCBride2007

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                Posted 01 October 2007 - 01:07 PM

                ohhh - perfect solution!

                #9 Can'tHardlyWait

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                  Posted 01 October 2007 - 01:21 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by starfish kate
                  Yes, she is having a rehersal dinner and I did think of that, but I think my problem has been solved... I just spoke to my other sister who is the MoH and she totally doesn't want to do a toast so I think I might do it instead. I'll check with the bride first of course, but this might be win-win for all of us.

                  Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!
                  I was going to suggest seeing if your MOH sister would be willing to share the toast... I am glad you worked it out :)

                  #10 Nrvsbride

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                    Posted 01 October 2007 - 01:32 PM

                    Since you first problem is already solved I won't comment on it. LOl. You are actually right, the "standard, proper etiquette" is that you wish the bride best wishes and you congratulate the groom. That is the Emily Post proper way of doing it. Blah, blah, blah. In reality you should say whatever you like. Wishing someone happiness can never be said in the wrong way!




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