Jump to content

how to back out of destination wedding


Recommended Posts

i have always disliked the idea of these destination weddings and all of my friends know this. that said i was asked by 3 friends this year to be bridesmaids in their weddings i could not do all three and fortunately one has decided to stay local and the other put hers off as she is having a baby so fewwww i am left with just one i also got engaged about a month after my friend and also asked her to be in my wedding but now as my financial situation has changed due to my wedding, relocating and having to find a new job i feel like i have no choice but to back out. we were planning to piggyback her wedding as our honeymoon as it is 2 weeks after ours but now we don't know if we will have the money the deposit is due in a month and i don't know what to do. i understand that she will probably back out of my wedding as a result and that sucks but i know she will have sour grapes...i just don't know how to bring it up as i have been avoiding the topic trying to figure some sort of miracle to pull this off and not ruin our friendship

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm I know I'd be a little miffed if my bridesmaid said yes and later backed out, but I would be MORE miffed if she waited until the last second to tell me, or just didn't put her deposit down. So I'd recommend telling her as soon as possible! Then she can start looking for a replacement and give them time for them to consider if they can afford it. 

 

In the end, it sucks for everyone, but if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. It's a tricky situation, and you're right, it could get ugly! Good luck! 

 

Is it possible to go for a shorter duration, without your partner, so you can just be there for the wedding day and maybe a few surrounding days? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ohhh thats a tough one.  Yeah I'd prob be a little pissed off if one of my friends backed out of my wedding as a bridesmaid after agreeing to it, but also agree you shouldn't wait to the last minute.  Chances are, your friend may understand when you explain to her that now you also are getting married and have huge financial committments of your owns and savings you need to plan for.  Just tell her right away so she won't have to harass you or feel ignored.  What I'd also suggest is that you still want to be a part of her big event as much as you can, and you love and support her.  Try to go with her to look at dresses, check in with her to see how her planning is coming along, and be helpful in planning her bridal shower and bachelorette party.  I think it'd be impossible for her to have sour grapes if you show her you just cant physically be there on her big day.  And hopefully, she'll do the same for you when it's your big day as well.  Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree, tell her as soon as possible! However, I think that if you are honest with her about your reasons for not being able to be in her wedding party and go to her wedding, she should understand. It will probably hurt that you cannot stand up for her, but I don't know why she would automatically back out of your wedding! Especially if it's local.

 

Chin up and hope for the best! Your reasons for not being at her wedding aren't personal, they're financial, so hopefully she can understand that and you can be there for each other in different ways in the lead up to your big days!

 

Congrats!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

If I was your friend and you couldn't come to my wedding because of financial reasons, not only would I TOTALLY understand and still be proud to be your bridesmaid, I would also try to see if I could help you out financially (assuming that was feasible for me).  I cannot fathom why your friend would be at all angry at you for this.  It's not your fault if money is tight!  I would tell your friend as soon as possible and work it out together. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 months later...

Here is my take on this situation...

 

I was in my best friends wedding and had to drive three hours away... I also paid for her entire bacheorette party weekend for around $1000, bridesmaid dress for a few hundred and then the cost of staying in her home town in a hotel for a weekend.

 

All in all after gift etc... I think I probably spent about 2500 dollars.  ** I work retail so lets not be thinking I am all full of money lol***She has now told me she won't be able to come to my wedding due to financial reasons. I told her more than a year ago that we would be going way and if that would be okay with her because I needed to make sure she would be there. She said absolutely and she would start saving. Push comes to shove she emails me a week ago telling me she won't be able to make it.

 

In the last five years they have traveled to spain, mexico, italy, cuba and dominican. So it's not like they don't appreciate their vacations.

 

That being said... as disappointing it is to know she won't be there,  i am GLAD I spent the money that I did and was there for her. Even if I knew in advance that she wouldn't be coming to mine I wouldn't have dropped out of her wedding or changed anything I did.

 

Try and see it from their perspective as well, hell yes be upset that theywon't be there, but I am sure they won't be excited to have to tell you that they won't be there for you.

 

I hope your girl doesn't drop out of your wedding because you can't go to hers. If she is a good friend she should be understanding. If not. Screw em. Everyone needs to be a little more understanding of things that pop up, or personal feelings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...